Forums » Creative Corner » Read Thread

 

A civilization, once mighty, has fallen.  Twisted ruins stand crumbling, a testament to what once was.  Its ways were strange and unknown to us.   They strove, and struggled, flew too close to the sun, tottered, and collapsed.  The statue of their great leader, made of a shining green element unknown to us, stands shattered in their cratered town square.

This is the Ruins of a Dead Civilization.

Well, that was exciting!  And that lovely flavor text is my introduction to a contest.  But it's not the kind of contest where you win anything.  Just glory and fun.

My fellow CYSers are invited to submit interactive stories on the theme of "Battle in the Ruins of a Dead Civilization."

I'm inviting people from both Choose Your Story and Choice of Games to submit interactive stories for a friendly contest, because a lot of times there's friction between sites for no reason, when, at the end of the day, we all just love to write and read branching stories.

The Twist:  If you want to play, you must submit your story to a third, now largely-defunct IF site, Infinite Story (infinite-story.com).  Infinite Story is, in a very real sense, a civilization, once mighty, that has now fallen.  It is a strange, primitive place.  Variables are unknown.  Scripting is unknown.  Here, stripped to the bare bones of interactive literature, all there are, are pages linked to one another.  It will be painful coming from our sophisticated core worlds.  But it is the only way to explore these ruins. 

The Prize:  Glory, fun, constructive interaction with another site, and almost certainly a deeper appreciation for CYS.

Theme: "Battle in the Ruins of a Dead Civilization."  Feel free to interpret this theme as you like.

Deadline:  October 31, 2019, 11:59 EST

Where to Submit:  As usual for CYS contests, announce that you intend to enter.  Submit to Infinite Story (infinite-story.com) but also post here with the name of your story so I can track it more easily.  I'll be judging the stories (along with a few more suitably neutral or neutral-posing people.) 

Perfect. A chance to redeem myself for my last mess of a story. I'll join now and probably forget about until the last minute!

Not to put a damper on anyone's fun, but since this isn't a site contest but a bloody and glorious battle for the honor of House CYStia, I'm gonna request that you guys not do the usual rushing out a half assed story at the last minute. I though this is practically an honored tradition, but this is the one time it's better to not enter than to enter something sloppy and bad.

Not that I'm singling anyone out here..... @JACODER23 .

Yeah, @JACODER23! How dare you take my name and slander it with capitalization!

Oh man, I love this idea.

This might be the greatest idea anyone has ever had. The theme is brilliant, too. And using IS will force Time Cave style stories, so that should be interesting, it will automatically make for more branching.

I hope you can find some CoGites up for the idea, but I know some of us will be there either way. Two months is a very generous deadline, and this just sounds fun as heck.

InfiniteStory editor is the easiest thing in the world to use, this might even draw a few new authors out from both sites who are intimidated by scripting and such.

Also, you guys be nice to the CoGites. Anybody entering this will have proven they genuinely enjoy writing and have a sense of fun, so show R E S P E C C even as our tanks roll over them.

You used a cooler picture on here than in the CoG thread.

I approve.

Mirror Universe Thread

I guess I should ask, how open to interpretation is "battle"?

Also, is it only one entry per person or is it okay to use a second idea too if feeling inspired? We've got two full months here...

"Battle" is *very* open to interpretation.

I would say pick the best of your two ideas and use that one; then use the other one to write a storygame on CYS.  Probably one entry per person would make it most manageable for the judges.

You make this very difficult for me.

Not that anyone cares, but I am currently announcing my intention to enter the contest mentioned above.

Since this is a CYS and cog contest, taking place on infinite story, does my story have to follow any particular guidelines? I’m in either way, I just want to know beforehand.

Aside from following the theme, being an interactive story, and maintaining, let's say, an "R" or tamer rating, I'm trying to think what other guidelines there would be.  What do you have in mind?

I just wanted to know if mature stories were allowed. I’ve never been to cog, but I’d assume if we incorporated their rules, most of the stories that we’d produce wouldn’t follow them.

Well, I may have encountered a bigger problem. Infinite story is blocked for me, and I have to use a proxy in order to bypass my schools block, so the site is a little wonky looking. Idk if it works completely, but I’ve managed to successfully sign in. This may affect my ability to turn it in, but again idk.

I'm sorry, but you're not old enough to enlist. This is a real war, not your girl's dodgeball tournament.

Pls

Just realized that the deadline is also my 1 year anniversary of being on this site.

Those of you who have expressed interest really should post. Like, here, in the thread.

I'm interested in writing a story for the contest. Am I too much of an unknown factor to join this inter-website battle?

Didn't you say you liked to just download CoG games for free off that one site? They already hate you plenty then, just grab a sword and a horse and you're in.

Haha true. I could be used as cannon fodder so CoG gets complacent and then you guys go in for the kill.

Yeah, notice this is a *space battle* and Mizal just told you to get a sword and a horse.

I guess when she said "get a sword and a horse" she really meant "grab your sippy cup and baby crib".

I'll join.

Quick question Gower, can there be any people left alive in the ruins and can the battle be between them? If so, I've already got a setting.

Sure, I don't see why not.   The theme is a jumping-off point.  Feel free to create variations.

Just created an Infinite Story account. Count me in.

I'm in.

I will also be participating in this.

Gower, I'm not seeing a lot of life in the Mirror Universe thread. Just a couple people expressing mild interest, with no promise to enter.

Have they no sense of patriotism? If you haven't yet, maybe you should tell them we already have nine people eager to commit.

Has anyone over there finished posting? I didn't see anything last time I lurked except Mara's announcement that she is entering from the CYS side.
 

I'm in.

I am so impressed with this turnout so far.

Lots of people saying they'll enter isn't *necessarily* the same as lots of people actually entering, as the SHAME pit can attest.

Count me in

Just wanted to mention, I don't have any objection to Mara using a co author to help her with grammar, if she can find one.

Although Darkspawn is in this too, and maybe he would think that was unfair....

Darkspawn and Mara could team up like the way the Spanish and natives of the Mexico area did back in the old days! 

Um no wait...

Well that does fit the choice based format.

1) Fuck
2) Marry
3) Kill

....not necessarily in that order.

Writing a dating sim with a goddamn Spaniard has always been a secret dream of mine. We get along fine, just ask all of our remaining native Mexicans!

Um no wait...

I see this has become personal for you. Good! Let the hate consume you and drive you on.

I mean, you're already on Dark's side.

Cool, Mara is writing about cannibals too! Now we can be friends.

And someone named Nocturnal_Stillness might join.

I am going to enter this, the twist makes it 100% more cool. It's a good inclusion (._.)b

I'm assuming no, but just in case: does the story have to fit with the contest introduction and include the statue of the leader made of a shining green element and the ones who strove and struggled and tottered and collapsed?

"as long as you stay reasonably in the theme of “Battle in the Ruins of a Dead Civilization” you’ll be fine–feel free to interpret that theme freely, though." --Gower in the Mirror Universe thread.

He also says the theme is just a jumping off point, etc.

Also, just noticed they have a Will1 there. I presume no relation to 11.

Oh, a battle against CoG?

Sharpening my ladle, count me in!

I approve of this edit.

Ah, it's more than a casual CYS skirmish; CYStian pride is on the line! I have to treat it as such.

A real pipe dream, I know, but can I get Ficsean back if I win?

If you win, sure. Although I figure you'll be doing good just to finish a story at all.

This might have come off as unnecessarily harsh. For what it's worth, I'm not singling you out, the exact same thing goes for most of you in this thread.

In fact, just to keep this fair, I'll offer Ficsean_Chef to the winner of the contest, no matter who it is. Either the account or the poster, you can pick.

I highly recommend you guys read the Mirror Universe Thread. It is a fascinating look into the psyche of the average CoGite. Mission of understanding and peace though this may be, they are still so very, very different from us in ways that are hard to understand.

Yep. I forgot how much they talk about genders in my months of absence from CoG.

It's just really strange to me that everyone's first thought is "well I guess I have no choice but to make the character gender neutral!" instead of just like, telling a story as you would with any other kind of fiction once it's clear the site's not set up that way. It just seems like they're making it unnecessarily difficult on themselves while hamstringing their ability to develop their protagonist.

I know Necromancer especially has been read by at least a few of them. Somebody even brings it up in that thread so they're not short of examples.

One of the various series' of actual CYOAs would also not be bad for a source of inspiration.

Don't get me wrong, I consider lack of scripting to be a major handicap. I just wasn't expecting them to have the specific problems they are. If anything I'd have thought not having to follow the 20 questions format would be a relief; I doubt having to get through that before starting the actual story is at all entertaining to write.

Judging by the responses, I'm going to guess that most CoGites wound up on COG through playing COG games, and don't have the varied backgrounds in choice based whatevers that a lot of us do.

What's the 20 questions format?  Like, what's your name, what's your sex, what's your sexual preference, what's your hair color, that sort of thing?

The character's backstory, which must start out every story and be given in the form of a quiz.

I have never understood this at all. Isn’t it obviously ridiculous to allow anyone to be the protagonist in your story? I thought it was so clear that they’re meant to occupy the head space of the character that the author created, not transplant themselves into the story. How do they handle all of the other non-gender characteristics? Do I get to make the protagonist of the same ethnic and family background? Age? Socioeconomic experience? 

Bizarre.

I think it depends on the story.  Obviously the only condition in which literally anyone can be the protagonist would be a situation in which the customization affects very little flavor text to the point of meaninglessness.  I don't think anybody would seriously argue for that situation. On the other hand, there's been some absolutely amazing IF written with some serious PC customization, like "Tin Star" which has lots of different routes and dialogue depending on sex or race, which makes perfect sense in an Old West setting.

Some people like to create themselves in IF, but that's not really something I'm into as a reader or a writer.  But from the point of view of an ambitious writer who wants to think about interesting ways to fork, I like the notion of customizing to a certain extent as an option.  (And anyone who's played the start of Dragon Age: Origins gets that--the two dwarf origins for example, or the ways the male/female city elf origins go).

Some players want you to ask them about eye color even if it never comes up in a game.  To continue the CRPG metaphor, you also often make your eye color (and jaw thickness, and nose bridge width)  there even though you often look at your character from behind in a third-person game or never see them in a first-person game.  Personalizing your character helps you feel like your character. 

But you make a really, really good point about head space.  Is it your goal to help players get into the head space of the main character, or to be like a novelist creating a character, and you are along for the (interactive) ride?  I lean towards the latter, but it's only a lean--I think lots of great writers of IF use both of those goals at different time, both wanting players to have the story experience and also to be moved personally and emotionally by the storygame.  I agree that it is odd to have players who can't play any character but themselves in a game, but that feels like a pretty corner case, and that person probably can't consume much other media anyway in that case.

If you think about a game that's going to have some sex scenes, and you can pick who the sex scenes are going to be with, do you pick a pairing that matches your preferred orientation to enjoy?  I would guess most people would, because there's some blurring going on between the reader's experience and the character's experience. 

 

I am NOT entering. I want to focus on a different story in this time that I am free.

I did have a great idea I am putting here incase anyone wants to steal it:

The story takes place in modern times. Two factions are brought together, and can not coexist without determining which is the superior race. They decide to enlist a third faction, and have a battle to see who can write the most epic decision based story! This story battle takes place in the ruins of a website whose name was long forgotten. You must choose a faction, and decide on the perfect story to claim victory for the faction you choose.

I am still working out the details, but that is the short version.

On a more serious note, the theme looks awesome! Good luck you all!

I'm adding a note to my introduction page basically just saying that my story will only ever appear on IS, or CYS under the same username.

I know anything anywhere on the internet is equally at risk, so I don't know why IS in particular feels shady enough to make me want to take that extra step I'd never bother with here.

Probably all the furries.

You are going to cause a fight in their thread over branching now.

Everyone grab a branch of your preferred style and prepare to go for the eyes. (Dammit, where's Mayana when you need her...)

Hi, I want to wish you luck to all of you for the contest.  I  thought like is about to foment communication between Cog and CYS fans I should come here and Mingle with all of you. 

 

 

"Foment" is the *exact* word I was thinking of, actually.   Like, Mizal,  I wonder how the folks at the CoG forum will take Chris's claim that delayed branching creates more fake choices rather than less.  Seems like a good opportunity for a pointless and angry argument to me.

I, uh, had to look up foment.

Now I just need to work it into a sentence five times for the vocabulary test.

It's a WORD?

I think is a fair criticism. In my own fanfic that is Character fixed and with no stats I felt compelled by the way cog should do to have choices that are USELESS because people expect them.

 

Most choices are objectively useless. They are there to give an illusion of choice and an illusion of interactivity. A good writer in Cog is extremely clever Hidding that fact. It is sincere criticism and could be considered a flaw in the system if you consider Cog literature. I consider them Games so under  different rules

I don't quite agree that most choices are objectively useless.  If there is a robust stat system, delayed branching creates an accumulation of small stat increases that collectively combine to make forks happen down the road.  Delayed branching makes choices in a long game more important and meaningful, not less, in my opinion.

Are useless as they don't factually direct the story and do more than rich the background and the illusion of agency. Great authors as you with works with million words of course with the delay branching cause real changes.

 

But the average story near 100,000 don't, and most choices are cosmetic, That are necessary for the Gamebook flow and player feelings and agency as game but as literature that choices are useless to storyline

Hi Mara, how are the cheetahs coming along?

I'm writing about lizards, so with just a couple more this might unintentionally turn into the furriest competition yet.

It's a shame IS doesn't have a forum, I've been trying to message anyone there with names I recognize but I'm not sure how many are going by something different there.

Main Character is a cougar of the feline Tribe in a cannibal war against The Octopus people empire. But yeah. It is sad there is no more communication between the two pages. 

Nah I don't think we're SHAMING people this time around. Like I said this is the one time I'd rather people just opt out if they think they have to rather than rushing out something half finished.

There's still a lot of time though so maybe you'll decide to pick it up again after all. Hope things IRL work out for you, and I hope you stay active on the site even if you don't have any writing time.

I'm interested in entering. I'm looking over their how to make a story FAQ now. This might be a good opportunity to play around with the plot/outline of a novel I'm planning for NANOWRIMO and do some worldbuilding.

Edit: Going to enter. Just hope I have time to finish it in a reasonable manner as those 'rooms' add up fast.
 

It's coming along. I'm up to about 10,000 words and 30 choices or so, and almost finished with the first main segment which collapses everything back down into two main storylines. I think I will be able to finish it in time, but even if I don't I have some good content already to base my planned novel in. (And I assume I can finish it even if I don't meet the deadline, though it won't be as fun.)

My current story intro for Blade of the Hollow:

" Aeron Silverhand is a thief. In the ruined lands of Vala, it is enough to survive, even if that means a life of crime and pain. When a sorceress takes his broken body and transforms him into a Hollow warrior, Aeron is given the power to fight the scourge of wyverns and reshape the shattered continent in her name. But the price of his power is his freedom, and the price of his new body might be his soul.

Battle your way through the the ruins of Vala. Wield the legendary Void Blade. Journey as Aeron into a voyage of deadly beauty, horrific truth, shattered hope, and unlikely redemption.

Become the Hollow. "

 

10,000 words already? Damn, you write fast.

Sounds like a pretty epic story. Normally I'd say you might want to scale it down a little to be sure to finish by the deadline, but if you're doing 2500 words a day you'll probably manage fine.

I was surprised when I checked the statistics. I don't write that much usually that isn't technical or theology notes, but have recently committed to try my hand at some fiction. Second person present seems to be pretty fast to write, especially since each choice seems to follow pretty much the format of 'what you chose, effects of what you chose, set up for next choice' and I don't have to stare blankly wondering what I am going to write about. I've also reused sections where it makes sense to (which hopefully won't bore readers on replay too much) or will rewrite the same event from the slightly different perspective a new choice caused, so it isn't all from scratch.

I'm in.  Don't quite have a name yet, but I'm workin on it.

I'm joining, hopefully I don't procrastinate...

I'm going to have to bow out on this one. My computer's broke and I can't recover my work from it.

I’m sorry, I can’t join. Though it would be entertaining for everyone else, I don’t trust myself enough not to procrastinate...

Aside from Kurio being a useless bitch, how is everyone's story coming along?

I've entered panic mode an entire month in advance this time and finally started to get serious, maybe I'll even finish mine in a way I don't hate.

Remember, this is a matter of patriotism and it's *exactly* like getting spanked by Jason and telling him it turns you on and asking if you can call him daddy if you fail.

Just written the first page... It's available on creative corner BTW. I'll have to buck up the pace. 

Shortly I'm going to post a sort of rubric so people can see how I'll do the evaluations, the sorts of things that I'll be rating based on.  (and hopefully the other two judges!)  Nothing surprising--plot, character, quality of prose, interesting choice design.

Been working pretty consistently, about 15k in a week and a half, and the first two endings are done.  I'm kind of putting off other branches I'd like to add til I have a complete game to add to.  Hoping it'll do the site justice lol, I'm definitely fond of it which helps the pace.

I'm up to my neck in homework so I am probably going to pull out of the contest. If I magically get more time, I will try to work on my story, but no promises.

Just turn your homework projects into stories.

"Why yes, professor, I know the assignment was to write a mock tutorial on how to use a video camera. And I did. The fact that the organization training the reader has nefarious purposes, and that the video camera in question is to be used in propoganda for brainwashing the masses, is merely flavor text."

"Why yes, teacher, I know the assignment was on solving for X. I just let X be a genetically altered prince whose memory has been removed. The equation has been passed down through the centuries and passed into legend as a prophecy. Those who solve it will understand the identity of their hero, and finally be able to fight the dark forces of Lord Decir!"

Lol Nice

 

 

"Marine Commander Mizal's Log, CYSdate 10.1.19.   After assuming a commanding position in orbit of Infinity last month, we have summoned the armada to join us in supporting the annexation of this world.  It may not have anything much of value, but it shall be ours.  It--"

"Gah!  I stepped away for one second and the tab got refreshed.  This is the fourth time, the fourth time, I've tried to record this!"

Lt. Cricket, ignoring the technical complaint for which she had already offered perfectly good solutions many a day, typed a command into her console and studied a starmap.  "Computer, show ETA of the Armada."

The computer flickered to life, displaying the twinned faces of a 1920s gangster and a pathetic, sooty-faced orphan, the unfortunate result of a holosuite accident.  "One month, if you please, sorry, ma'am," groveled the "Chris" personality, followed by a "yah, one month, see, doll?" followed by a firing of the Tommy gun of the "Tim" personality.  All in all, the Computer was maddening and required a good deal of slapping and focused attention to get anything worthwhile out of it.

"A month," said the robed and hooded captain, turning slowly in his chair.  "Enough time, perhaps, for the enemy to build up enough forces to grow confident.  Good.  It will make the inevitable outcome so much more...satisfying."

"Status?" Commander Mizal asked.

"The Treble J arrived a few weeks ago at the homeworld to support our logistical efforts," Lt. Cricket said.

"Good.  What else--"

"And then it left.  I think.  Actually, I'm not sure.  Also, some bad news.  Somehow the Kurio crashed while on its way to meet us here."

"Any losses?" Commander Mizal asked.

"Nothing of value, luckily," chirped Lt. Cricket brightly.

"I'm getting quite a few signs of activity from the enemy," said Science Officer Ogre, lumbering into the room. "More than expected.  You don't suppose they stand a chance of having any serious firepower?"

"Unlikely," the hooded captain said.  "I intend..."

The communicators crackled to life.

"FUCK YOU IS FASCIST DIE FOR ALL I CARE."

"Yes, I love you too."

"SHUT FACE BLOWSUCKER I don't care you to BITCH."

"Lmao."

The hooded captain folded his arms implacably, waiting for the argument to finish.  "You see.  If necessary, I shall release my near relations upon them, disrupting them utterly."

"DONT FUCK FURIOUS ME."

"Shhh, honey."

Slowly, Lt. Cricket shut the communicators off, to everyone's palpable relief.

"It seems all in ord--well, not in order, but, proceeding apace," Cmdr. Mizal said.  "One month left.  October 31st.  See that there are no more accidents or lost ships, Lt. Cricket."

"Actually, I think the Lurkinator has gone awry, Commander."

The hooded captain leaned back, steepling his hands, ignoring the minutiae of individual ships.  Yes, there would be some losses.  But to reclaim his home planet, yes, that would be worth a good deal.  He had waited this long.  He could wait one month more.

This was even better than the last one. I like the lieutenant. Gangster Tim is a funny image. XD

Has it already been a month?
....I really should work on my story.

This was hilarious, but it reminds me I really have no idea what kind of firepower the enemy is amassing and I'm not sure how reliable our own merry band of fuckups is.

I feel like Camelon deserves a mention somewhere, he will probably save all our asses by the look of things and no one has any idea where he came from.

That's a good plot hook for the next installment.  I like it.

Nothing like pressure! But I am giving up sleep and learning how to subsist on air to make time for this.

A bit of both, lol. My other avatar was from over a decade ago, and I did notice that anime doesn't get much love around here. ;)

This one is actually a piece of the cover art for Blade of the Hollow for when I finish the novel form [I might as well *assume* I'm going to actually complete it, right?.] I'm still waiting on the customization, so this is just a grab from the premade cover.

I am rooting for fantasy Obi Wan

Is this planet Detroit 

Also Tims character is funny

Missed the opportunity to have Chris be the stalwart crusader knight tho

Well, I already established Chris's character as an 'umble orphan boy in some other post, and God forbid I break the continuity of this valuable IP.

Isn't there are Word maximum? 

I am truly worried about that because of the fact  I have alone more wording that all people from Cog I know. And I just have passed the middle and want to know if I have to cut down branches @Gower

No.

One more month indeed, the pressure is on.  This is awesome, by the way lol.

Goddamn it, now I feel motivated to slack on homework and work on the story. I can’t decided whether it’s more humiliating for my dad to beat me or to call Jason daddy. Fuck.

@solskin

How's your story coming along?

He ran away. :(

Not well. It's a hot mess, like my life.

I've only just started implementing it into Infinite Story and it's slowly becoming an abomination. I'm sure I'll have something done by the end of October, but god knows what it'll be.

Well you're probably further along than me. I have my plots mapped out at least, just need to get my ass in gear on actually writing it all out.

It's not that, I just haven't had any decent writing sessions in awhile. My brain is usually tired and only fit for random shitposting by the time I get home and settle down at the computer.

Ugh, yeah going through it, and  hate it when that happens. Sometimes I wish if we could just simply put forth the whole story in the mapped out, plot point version itself and just tell the judges to, "Use your imagination for the finer details! I'm sure y'all are creative enough to be a judge!"

 

I suppose if we had a best plot and outline contest that would work

or a best fill in the blankes/adlib storygame contest

I've had to scrap my idea as it just wasn't working for me. So will be working on a brand new story. Hope everyone is having better luck than me!

Hahahaha excellent

I mean...that's too bad.

My story has been progressing at less than a snail's pace almost since the second week, I'm already cutting branches and I was wondering how others were doing. At this rate poison mara and Camelon may be the only one with full sized entries.

I'm more annoyed than anything else. I decided to take part in this and another competition all while trying to work on a main project, I've stupidly overloaded myself.

Hopefully as I was planning this to be a short CYOA I'll still have time to finish it.

I'm just hoping I can finish it. It will either be epic, or an epic fail. I have about 54k, but am stuck cleaning up all the loose ends in a timed exploration segment. I might have got over ambitious, there. I think I will get it done, but if I can finish with no loose ends or broken links is another matter.

I am sorry to hear about that, I have  mental struggles to end it but I am so near to finish it that I can't scraping it after 42,000 words.

Thank you. 42,000 words is impressive I'm sure you can finish it, just keep writing! :-)

I figure most of the veterans know what a good storygame is and for them, this isn't telling them anything they don't know, but it might be useful for others.  Might be useful for other competitions, too.

This is helpful, thank you. I went back to one of my key scenes and added more information so a few later repercussions seem more logically consequent. 

As I said in Cog I say it here, If I had known that this awful degradation made to make fun of contestants will be on use. I will never present to the contest in the first place. I don't participate in theory for fun contest to be shamed publicly. I am not your student to be grading for. You could use directly insults as it seems to be the aim of the scoring system.

That's a shame.  Your entry will certainly be missed.

When did I say I won't present my game?  I will present it . I was only criticizing a system that has no sense in a contest for fun, and given in the middle of competition. That has been tailored to make fun of the people learning a language.

I can't actually see what Gower has posted. It shows up as an empty post, so I imagine it's on an image. Therefore, I should probably leave this to others. But still, here's my opinion, worth exactly as much as you paid for it.

Gower doesn't seem like the kind of person to make fun of someone for making mistakes. Hell, even when dealing with complete idiots like that wolf person that everyone else on here would've mocked, he remained polite. So I find it unlikely that he'd actually mock you, as you seem to think.

He is likely just providing constructive criticism. And that, in my opinion, is the best part of posting something online; being able to learn from others where you could still improve, to make sure the next story you write is even more enjoyable to read.

Besides, you already know that when you publish a story, others will be able to comment on it. How would Gower grading it be any different? If you don't want others to voice their opinions on something you write, don't make it publicly available. You read Turnip's article and agreed with it; what's the difference here?

He is putting an entire score system with punctuation IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING CONTEST. With the info that would have made my story totally different to achieve more points because he favours a type of branching over others. Then He has the gall to put insulting descriptions to the scores as GODAWFUL. I have worked really hard for a month and a half to find know the scoring is about a totally different branching out and insulting people not native calling godawful and who knows what more.

It is a contest a grade of politeness and fairness should be expected. I would not complain if I had this same information BEFORE the contest, and not in the middle. Am I supposed to eat my 45,000 words and starting again for these criteria?

Anyway, In my case won't change anything as I will have the same F one way or another, but still being unfair.

 

Anyone, not judge can value my game as they please. But not a judge in a contest

 

I think there were supposed to be several judges for the contest, and Gower is just one of them. This is my first game, so I agree information like this would be helpful at the start - but it's more a bonus that he's giving us his criteria at all. I can't start my game over, either, but there are little things we can do to improve things going forward (be a bit clearer with why choices are bad so it doesn't have a random feel; give characters more distinct personalities, etc.) That is, take what advice we can from it, but don't stress if our game isn't going to achieve a perfect score under Gower's system.

And from the Khajit bit you posted I don't think your language skills are as bad as you think. There are a lot of errors, but I could still figure out what was going on and it was interesting. And writing is merely one category out of many. I would think a story with a compelling plot and distinct characters would score higher than a boring one where none of the choices make sense, no matter how well it follows the rules of English.

To me, anyway, F language would be the people who think capitalization and punctuation are optional and have no idea how to form a sentence. Like "mary went. south and found swarm bees and YIKES bad, lol, you dead." Or the strangely poetic but mostly nonsensical text of one of the recent stories, Unedited Requiem:
"Preponderance to guess, the only way to really know is to delve on information not attained when the transformation came. Still, with the ending the beginning, it doesn’t relay much to go on. There was a guess as good as mine, yet still. For the first time it was missed, the predecessor. Assumptions not, not included, there is no way to tell how long it took, or how many times were taken to in what time see the complete separate. The option to ask was not given. Going onward is the same not known going backwards not sane since sane would be determinable for the remainder of time in space."

I don't  want go further in the theme as it is a contest without prize. I  have decided not worry on the slightest about the game and just end it not worry editing bug hunt or any other thing as proofreading it (in the improbable case I achieved anyone) because is not worth it in my case.  For me now is just matter of personal pride in end what I said I will end I already know I will get so I won't worry anymore.

That's disappointing.  From what I've gathered in this thread and the other, I consider you strong competition.

I will doubtfully be able to proofriead my game or get it where I want it in the short time alloted. But I'm focusing on completing it to the best of my abilities inside of the time constraints.

Put something out that you can be proud of because you did your best. You can always polish it up after the contest. But if you give up because you don't think you can score perfectly in one area, and let that affect the rest of the game, that isn't being fair to yourself. Don't deliberately make it less than your best.

For those who cannot see the image, here it is in text:

Topic: 25 points

Excellent [A] :

Has a clear and complex theme/topic that feels original and compelling.

Grabs the reader's attention swiftly and doesn't let up.

Good [B]

21 points

Has a strong, clear theme.

Interesting topic for storygame.

Intrigues the reader within several pages.

 

Average [C]

19 points

Is clearly on theme.

There is a storyline.

Attracts at least some interest.

Poor [D]

16 points

Wanders off theme a good deal.

Difficult to get a sense of storyline.

Not much effort made to attract interest.

 

Godawful [F]

up to 12 points

Is unfocused.

Doesn't seem to have a storyline.  Feels random in tone and purpose.

Doesn't maintain theme at all.

 

Development-- 25  points

Excellent [A] :

Thoroughly develops its ideas.

Uses excellent description.

Plot is very intriguing in all branches.

Story feels consistent throughout.

 Fully explores the implications of the story in all branches.

Characters feel three-dimensional.  Enough time spent with them to distinguish them.

Plot feels dynamic.  Things are happening, and it matters.

Good [B]

21 points

Lots of interesting ideas, many well developed.

Good description.

Plot is interesting in all branches.

Story is almost always consistent.

Characters are almost always three-dimensional.  A decent amount of time spent with important ones.

Plot is usually moving.  Few pages fill like the narrative is dragging.

 

Average [C]

19 points

Has a couple of interesting ideas and scenes.

OK description.  We know what's going on.

Narrative is logical.

Effectively uses some description and character.

Some branches feel significantly more underbaked and uninteresting than others.

 

Poor [D]

 

16 points

Has perhaps one interesting idea and scene.

Some logical problems with the narrative.

Branches are mostly underbaked and uninteresting.

Contains logical fallacies or misinformation.

Needs additional description or description is boring.

Shows an overreliance on summary or "telling" rather than things happening.

 

Godawful [F]

 

up to 12 points

Is incomplete.

Has obvious filler or feels contentless.

Big logical problems with plot.

Characters act inconsistently or are completely flat.

Nothing happens.

 

Structure-- 25  points

Excellent [A] :

Feels very generous with choices.

Choices feel highly meaningful both in plot and flavor.

Endings very varied and feel like the culmination of the choices made. 

Manages to be both choice-y and feel long enough.

 

Good [B]

 

21 points

A good amount of choices for its length.

No bugs.

Endings feel different--the choice structure brings us to authentically different endings.

 

Average [C]

19 points

The game works without more than mild and non-game ending bugs.

Decent amount of choices.

Few endings or the endings are not well led to by choices.

 

 

 

Poor [D]

16 points

Transition between pages is confusing.--the narrative isn't flowing well.

The game works reasonably well, without dead links or endless loops.

Few choices.  Very unbranchy.

Has a "lol random" structure where the result of choices don't connect well with results.

 

 

 

Godawful [F]

up to 12 points

Has no organizational plan.  Feels all over the place.

It just plain doesn't work right.

Choices feel totally meaningless most of the time.

 

Writing-- 25  points

Excellent [A] :

Uses a variety of sentence structures and forms to enhance content.

Exhibits a clear, distinct voice.

The prose is attractive, showing off what you can do with language, but not in an annoying way.

Contains virtually no grammatical or mechanical errors.

 

 

Good [B]

21 points

Makes some effort to vary sentence types.

Tone and diction are consistent and appropriate throughout.

Syntax is clear and correct.

Punctuation is clear and correct.

 

 

Average [C]

19 points

Uses consistently clear sentences.

Language is only occasionally awkward, wordy, repetitive or imprecise.

Most sentences are correctly punctuated.

Employs some effective syntax and diction.

Tone and diction are only occasionally inconsistent or inappropriate to the audience.

 

 

Poor [D]

16 points

Contains many misspelled words.

Mechanical and syntactical errors consistently interfere with meaning.

Punctuation is consistently misused.

Tone and diction are often inappropriate for the audience.

 

Godawful [F]

 

up to 12 points

Contains so many sentence-level errors that the meaning is completely unclear.

Makes no attempt to credit other authors from whom ideas and information have been gleaned. (aka, is this plagiarized?)

Fuck this is good

everything is in order just how I like assignments

thank you, comrade Gower

I'm getting pretty nervous about mine. The problem with the two month deadline was that I planned out something that would take two months to write...and then didn't work at it consistently because two months was really far away.

I think one month contests remain the sweet spot for me as far as actually getting things done. With a CYS contest this would be no problem because I could just rush something half assed out at the last minute while only feeling mildly regretful, but this is different and I don't want strangers having that as their first and probably only example of my writing.

I'll keep working at this down the wire though and see how it goes.

Oh, come on, You are a really great writer you don't have any reason why to be nervous.  Length is not a requirement and I am sure you will do a great job and a powerful short story.

I can't make a short story. So I have to plain an inflexible schedule and that's a critical failure. Anyway if I can present something:you can

Two Weeks Out from Infinity

“Status?” Mission Control Gower’s voice over the comm system was calm, but his request went unheeded as the CYS flagship shuddered from multiple impacts.

Commander Mizal did not have time for status updates.  She glanced at their mysterious hooded captain sitting in contemplation at the helm, watching implacably out the viewscreen at the devastation all around them, the wreckage of CoG and CYS ships and asphyxiated soldiers drifting slowly by.  “Three quarter impulse, two points hard a-starboard!” called Cmdr. Mizal to engineering.

“We’re getting S.O.S.’s from most of our fleet!” said Lt. Cricket from the communication panel.  “Don’t worry.  I’ve sent each of them an ‘F.’”

The course to Infinity, which previously had seemed so straightforward, had become a killing field as a sudden swarm of asteroids had drifted into their path, destroying, damaging, or diverting much of their armada.

Massive asteroids like the suddenly-appearing Ectocomp, the randomly-moving Skybreak, and the God I’m so Tired had wreaked terrible havoc on the fleet.  Not to menton the annoying-as-hell shower of pebble-sized “Noob”-class swarm of small and malformed obstacles that had to be dealt with, and which Mizal was removing as quickly as possible. 

"Cruiser MHD, what assistance can you give!" shouted Mizal.  Two minutes later a picture of everyone crashing appeared on the viewscreen.  The hooded captain laughed out loud.

Updates poured in, too many for Mizal to field.

"The Captured Castle has been completely abandoned!"

"Critical meltdown on the Poison.  Self-destruction sequence activated!  Actually it's fine now.  Never mind."

Perhaps the newly commissioned Camelon (freshly repainted after its initially highly-embarrassing appearance); the tenacious attack dog of a vessel the Corgi, the stealth destroyer Nocturnal, or the cruiser Chef would carry the day, Commander Mizal thought, bracing herself as the flagship shuddered again.

"Status?" Gower called again.

He had sent them into this, Mizal thought gravely.  He had charted this course that had taken them away from  CYS Prime for two full months.  He had sent them past that godawful Rubric nebula that had damaged their sensors.  What if the rumors of his treachery were true?..but there was no time. 

"The weak shall be culled.  The strong shall endure," said the hooded captain, his eyes turning to the corner of the viewscreen, towards the black hole of Shame which he had chosen not to mention to the crew.  "Stay on course."

I'm still going to finish Capture the Castle. :(

F

The Ninja is still on course despite its spotty communications system.

Ooh, yes, I will include the story of the intrepid Ninja in the one-week update.

The Camelon is at full speed and still accelerating. The new onboard A.I. and new power system do not like each other, and so power is currently increasing in a feedback loop. If it doesn't get sorted, the ship will explode - but at least we are making good time!

[Current stats, 87k words, 373 choices, 198 rooms. But about 30k of that, and probably a hundred of the rooms, is just the current tunnel I'm stuck on in its many variations. Its not even a maze! It was just supposed to be a small side quest under time constraints, not even needed for the main plot! But apparently keeping track of weapon, time left, and key info and items picked up along the way is enough to make it have near endless permutations.]

 

You are my hero and main candidate to the victory. So keep the good work, you will kickass. About my proj3ct more 60,000 and  maybe  I reach 80,000. But well, this is a learning process for me, it has been useful to learn more English but same time makes me feel like a clunky sloppy writer and make my contest entry not be really a contest entry .

Smh, should've gone with Time Cave. It's like you deliberately designed it in this way just to torture yourself.

But you might have to pull this win off all on your own, so keep at it.

Unfortunately the Chef took a brief detour to a collection of smaller “paradise” planetoids on the way there, pilot suffering from a case of the “obligatory family reunion” virus.  After about a week of recovery, it’s going to take some serious afterburner use to catch up to the fleet.

Is anyone else having issues with IS lagging and timing out?

I haven't issues and I am hard on writing my epilogues. So at least in Chrome works perfectly

I've been using firefox for IS, but could try chrome. What should have taken 15 minutes just took an hour.

Chrome was working fine, last time I logged in.

Working fine for me. I'm not spending a great amount of time there though. I'm pretty much just pasting text and linking rooms.

Scout vessel Ninja has arrived earlier than expected. Sending you the coordinates...now.

On a side note, it doesn't appear on the "Newest Stories" list because it was technically created a month ago. What else do you expect from a Dead Civilization? My entry is The Sanguine and Blackbeard's Cutlass.

Don't post a cool story to distract me while I am still working on mine! :) But, of course, I played it anyway.
 

DONE DONE DOOOOONE... I reached the end of the battlefield after 97,708 words somehow I appeared on the other side

That is an insanely impressive word count for the time you had.

It's there in New Stories. That looks at the first publication date, not the time it was started.

Anyhow, between you, Camelon, and Mara, I'm happy the win has been secured for us and for once I don't have to flail out something half assed while hating myself just out of obligation. (Although, knowing End, I don't doubt the SHAME pit awaits even for an unofficial off-site contest....)

I'll be transferring what I have of my story here and using November to finish it as a NaNoWriMo project.

Ninja's story is great btw for anyone reading this and has already been featured.

I'm still not done. However. after an insane bit of restructuring, re-plotting, and re-prioritizing it is at least on track to be completed now.

You can do it!! You are my personal favorite for the victory so you will kick ass.

Appreciate the shout-out.

I meant on Infinite Story, it's not on the Newest Stories list...at least not high enough to be on the front page. Ultimately it doesn't matter where it's listed since either way, there will be 0 ratings and reviews outside of CYS influence.

Also there aren't any top comments yet, and the commendations are just waiting for you to earn them, Noble Reviewers (Wardens can disregard this portion of the message).

I had not been aware of how retarded that particular set up was over there.

Can everyone please rate all the contest games as they come in? You don't even need to read them for that, and if they could get around 20 ratings they could be listed in the Most Popular category, regardless of what the rating actually is.

Just give everyone an 8/10 if you don't have time to read and assign a proper rating. Anything from here or CoG is going to be better than 80% of the drivel published naturally on IS.

And obviously give all Endmaster's games a 10/10 while you're at it.

Most Popular actually goes by hit count, not ratings.

Yeah I know, it's retarded.

But everyone should definitely do what Mizal said anyway, especially the part about rating all my stories 10s over there.

I'm amazed there's anything on the list but weird bad fetish stuff then. Every one of those I've seen has had thousands and thousands of hits.

Well I started a new game last night and I'm going to see what I can manage to crap out by the end of my day off tomorrow. Already written two pages on mobile while hiding in the women's room at work...after a solid month of writer's block on the good story it's incredible how easy this becomes once you just go into a new one fully accepting it will be rushed garbage and that's okay.

I'm gonna have to bail on this, as much as I hate to say it. There's just too much to finish and to little time to do it, and if I publish my second storygame again with a half-assed ending, I'm gonna curse myself till the end of time.   

I've let the glory of the great, glorious, place of the free, the mighty kingdom of CYStia fall into shame...

:(

We weren't really expecting anything out of you anyway.

Well, I hope I can at least finish working on it and hopefully make this one as my entry in best of 2019.

I'm not sure anyone from there side has even entered, yet, especially since Mara decided to enter from the CYS side. Maybe two months wasn't enough for such an epic theme.

I'm hoping I can pull this off in the time allotted, but I can't give up and let all the time I've put into this and the 140k I have so far go to waste.

I do wish the deadline had been a couple weeks longer; there have been a few side quests and ideas I've had to scrap. I'll probably add those back in, though, if I ever move the came over to CYS.

Really? Lol. It would be kind of ridiculous if nobody enters from CoG.

I'm hoping that it doesn't though, if that really happens, then this would probably be like any other contest because we would have to compete amongst ourselves.

All the best! I'm really looking forward to reading yours. Least I could do now, is try and help out you guys so if you, or anyone else need proofreading done just hit me up.

I am thinking seriously about not presenting due lack of minimum quality. But dunno, because I have already said that I was in... Still I can not do anything more than apologize in advance for it.

I have done that too many times now.

I would turn in my zero draft—which is in every respect a complete story—but it is unpolished; riddled with poor word choice, and often fails to retain the mood I have set for it.

Ironically, the poetic style I have written the story in actually makes every other page an absolute chore to read.
In other words, my choices are to either flake (once again) or to submit a story that fails to entertain—which is, to me, the very purpose of creative literature.

This excuse would be easier to buy if anyone had ever even seen you log on to Infinite Story to work on your story.

Did you even make an account?

Someone from COG posted theirs! Fun sci-fi concept, and I like the descriptions, though in my first playthrough it met unfinished pages before we even got to the planet. Maybe I shouldn't panic too much if I have a few summarized rooms that aren't finished, after all. I'd really rather submit a complete game, though, if I can pull it off.

The person said they quit and just posted what they had which was only 14 pages which also means its not even enough to show up on the IS reading list.

I posted in the topic on CoG. But work has really been shitty lately and I've not felt like writing as really knackered. So missed out on an update for my game and this contest. So I won't be entering as not done enough for it. I wish everyone luck.

Sorry I couldn't submit anything. I'll still probably try and finish it next month if work calms down a bit.

Sorry you won't be able to make it. You don't seem at all to be alone there at least, and RL sadly is a big fat attention whore and always has to take priority with these things for all of us.

Land of the Setting Sun

Had to cut it shorter than I would have liked, but it's here and done.  I'm pretty happy with it, and hopefully some of y'all will enjoy it too.

Interesting take on the theme. This part is great: He was wearing a terrible button-up/sunhat combo, indoors no less. I made a mental note not to grow so old that I dismissed the laws of fashion completely.

E: Forgot to mention, the Myspace part is gold too.

https://infinite-story.com/story/room.php?id=171832

Uh....uhhh.....here it is....

 

It wasn't bad. Especially for something made in less than a week. I liked it at least.

I see the comment anyway, IS probably just handles those weirdly like it does everything else.

Thanks for the feedback which was much appreciated even if probably too generous. And I can't write any story without coming up with a bunch of ways to redo and expand it someday, but revisiting this one is doubtful given everything else on the list ahead of it.

>I don't know what Infinite Stories stance is on spoilers

Infinite Story is an ungoverned land that has forgotten any laws it might once have had, the people post anything they want and there is no king to shame them.

You didn't know what "Hell Locusts" were? It's literally right there in the name! :)

He submitted something but Sol said he's not in the contest. So far the only CoG entry is from WannabeHuman.

And still would like to know what the hell Camelon's doing.

I've got 2 hours ten minutes left and a half dozen epilogues to write, this is going to be tight.

EST, Camelon! You've got ten minutes.

Move your ass and present it as it is. You are my favorite

So, apparently the deadline is EST and I missed that? Blade of the Hollow

You almost caused me a heart attack lol

And, that's rough. I really should have re-read the directions, thought for sure I had two more hours. So I have a game with no ending (besides all the death endings, and a couple summarized placeholders.) I have so much plotted out that isn't typed.

You fucking dumbass.

Well at least you made it on time.

Man, Mara really deserved those points she got for being the only one who had it together enough to *finish a damn story* in advance and not just make a frantic, completely disorganized last second rush at the finish line.

And Ninja, of course, entering well before the deadline.

Oh right.

Ninja was so damn sneaky and quiet though, completely don't notice him.

A lot of bad planning on my part. I've been writing like crazy the past two months, but a lot of parts I imagined would be short took way too much time to complete, which left me trying to figure out what key areas to sacrifice or refit towards the end. On the plus side, I have a better idea now of what sort of branching does what, and how long it takes.

"Almost..there," said Commander Mizal, through gritted teeth, the hull of her flagship rattling and shaking.  She prayed that the duct tape and Krazy glue would hold.  It had been a near thing, having to re-assemble the flagship while en route, a process about which the less said the better.  Certainly the flagship was--smaller now that when she had left the homeworld.  The run-in with a suspiciously self-cloning pirate fleet and a truly loathsome battle with a group of animal girls of questionable legality had caused some damage.

"Never again," she vowed, bleary-eyed, as she hurtled towards Infinity.

Flashes and explosions on the surface of the planet attested to the battle already underway on the surface.  Where was everyone?  There were only moments before the wormhole closes, or the energoids went out of phase, or whatever space bullshit Science Officer Ogre had lectured them about.

"Pew pew!  Stealth pew!  Big pew!"  The Corgi, a small but ferocious Canis class cruiser--rusty, battle-scarred, but blessedly intact and game for battle, tore through the sky.  "Pow-pow-pow-neeyah!"

"Just shoot!" Mizal snapped.  "You don't have to say it into the communicator."

"Here comes the cavalry," The Chef's captain drawled, his sleek corvette swooping out from behind a moon.  With his inimitable swagger, he strafed the battle zone with his exotic anti-anti-matter shells.  Fumes from his afterburner poured forth from his ship, and a lei was draped across the cockpit, no doubt from the pleasure planets the Chef's hedonistic captain was so fond of visiting.  He laughed, thrilling in the pleasure of battle.

"That's Ninja's and Mara's position!" said Lt. Cricket.

"Oh."

"Pew!" added the Corgi.

"That's--five of us," says Mizal.  But where was the Camelon?  They had pinned all of their hopes on this, the golden boy of the CYS fleet, a massive, newly-commissioned battleship with a reputation for precision and deadliness.  If it had missed the rendez-vous...

"I'm here," came the Camelon over the speaker.  "With time to spare."

"No!  No, not with time to spare," said the captain of the Chef.  "Not at all."

"Oh," said the Camelon.  "Really?"

"Yeah."

Mizal swept her eyes over the Camelon.  From the front, it was impressive, certainly, the aft was--just--missing.  Instead of the rear of the battleship, there was a piece of paper stapled to the ship that just read "Aft."

"F," intoned Lt. Cricket, and everyone nodded.

"Hey, join the party," hailed Ninja, as the ships landed in the safezone.  "Mara and I have been here for like, months.  We have a nice campsite set up, with a wet bar and bumper pool, and a barbeque pit and everything.  Take a minute to relax and..."

"Glad you're here," said Mara, giving everyone a big hug, and then abruptly looking grimly into the distance.

"Any resistance?" Mizal asked.

"I saw to most of their scouts," Ninja smiled, cleaning his thin blade carefully.  "We outnumber their soldiers six-to-one.  There are some wanna-be heroes on their side though.  They look like they are going to put up a decent fight."

"Good," Mizal said.  "Let's proceed with care and..."

"Attack!" Mara cried, swinging her weapon above her head, and charging, berserker style, towards the front.

And so the ground battle for Infinity was finally joined, the fate of this planet hanging in the balance...

You had me at the first paragraph. Holy crap this was hilarious.

Im dying lol

My chest hurts

Lol...."Aft"

Pew pew!

Exploding might have been less embarrassing, lol.

Instead of the rear of the battleship, there was a piece of paper stapled to the ship that just read "Aft."

"F," intoned Lt. Cricket, and everyone nodded.

This! ^v^

F

Lol this is great. At least Mizal remembered to count me here.

You should consider being forgotten a compliment. You sailed your ship into the harbor without any fuss, got featured, then just spent the rest of the battle sipping pina coladas on the beach watching everyone else struggling and floundering in the distance.

Given that only Wannabe showed up, going to just guess Ninja assassinated everyone that was a potential threat on the other side in their sleep.

;~)

And famed war reporter MHD arrives on the Tea Party But Not in the Political Sense to capture video of the carnage for the folks watching at home.

"wanna-be heroes"

 

Hey, that's me! 

oops didn't check before answering

 

Hi, welcome!

Valiant effort....too bad you were the only one. But you know, it's not too late to defect and join our side.

Hi Wanna Be welcome

 

You might as well turn around and join the cystians in charging the abandoned cog fort.

2 Kings 9:17-18 New King James Version (NKJV)
17 Now a watchman stood on the tower in Jezreel, and he saw the company of Jehu as he came, and said, “I see a company of men.”

And Joram said, “Get a horseman and send him to meet them, and let him say, [a]‘Is it peace?’ ”

18 So the horseman went to meet him, and said, “Thus says the king: ‘Is it peace?’ ”

And Jehu said, “What have you to do with peace? [b]Turn around and follow me.”

So the watchman reported, saying, “The messenger went to them, but is not coming back.”

It took a while to figure out for me, too, since it kept coming out a gray box. The imgur link specifically for message boards worked vs. putting the regular url insude the code.

Though I shouldn't have wasted a half hour on that, lol, even if my cover artist finally got me the updated draft to upload

Thank ye kindly

"But who was the most valiant warrior, of the Battle of Infinity?"

"First of all," says Gerard Hastings, the insufferable graduate student, "it is the Battle for Infinity.  Not 'of.'  And you should know this.  The professor went over it last week.  You are going to do miserably on the exam if you don't know this.  I hold these review sessions before the exam to review, not teach."

"Was it...Microoracleserpent11?"

"Oh, god."

"BazAz?  ChrisTim?"

"You haven't been paying the least attention, have you?"

"I read the part in the textbook about the warrior cats era."

"That was several eras before the Battle For Infinity, and it is wholly inappropriate.  Listen carefully.  Think about the battle.  Remember what the soldier found when they got there..."

"Uh, enemies?"

"And most of them were..."

"Dead!  Already!"

"Right.  In their sleeping bags.  That is why the great warrior Ninja, having managed to kill over ninety-five percent of the opposing force in their sleeping bags before the rest of the fleet arrived is hailed as the mightiest hero of the Battle for Infinity."

"He licked his blade clean after killing everyone.  I saw that in a movie."

"That is not necessarily true," Gerard Hastings said, pushing his glasses up.  "People don't do that."

"Ninja does.  He can walk on water, and step into his own shadow.  And his blade is so thin it cannot be seen sideways."

"I don't care to discuss such cartoonish presentations.  We are training to be historians.  Now, the second hero of..."

"I have to know that too?  I thought we CYSians believe that second place is the first loser?"

"Ordinarily we do.  But this was rather unusual, and the professor did put it on the 'must know' list."

"Who was it?  Who else valiantly showed up on the battlefield...uh...uh...was it 3J?"

"Now I know you're just guessing at random.  It was Wannabehuman."

The undergraduate student blinks a few times.  "What?"

"Yes.  The CoGite warrior, their champion.  He was considered tremendously esteemed due to his honor, valor, and genteel..."

"I don't care about that stuff.  Did he lick his blade?"

"No," said Gerard Hastings, repressing the strangle-urge that had been coming over him of late.  "I said, 'genteel.'"

"He doesn't sound much like a CYStian, then."

"I said he was a CoGite warrior.  The second greatest of the battle."

The student struggled, trying to hold the thought of CoGite and greatest, even second greatest in his head together at the same time, and failing to be able to do so.  "I'll just leave that question blank if I get that one.  Who was the third greatest?"

"That you should know as well.   Think of the doodle you did in the margin of your notebook, the one I confiscated."

"Oh, Mizal!  The marine commander!"

"Yes, of course," Gerard Hastings said.  "She led the fleet's ground assault and landed the flagship even when it seemed it would never make it to Infinity.  She was esteemed as a hero for making a noble effort that..."

"But I thought she herself said that--here, let me check my notes--that her assault on Infinity 'sucked hard' and 'was embarrassing' and that her plans for the assault were scribbled down wholly in a bathroom stall in thirty minutes."

"History has debunked those dubious claims," Gerard Hastings said airly, with a dismissive wave.  "History remembers her as having lavished months on the battle plans, and terms like 'intriguing' and 'complexly conceived' are appropriate to use, not 'bathroom.'"

"Uh...huh," said the student.  "Sure."

"At any rate, those are the great three, the statues of whom--well, two at least--shame what happened to the other one--may still be seen atop the Great Cathedral, where Divine Thara holds services to our Dark Antipope.  Are you ready for the exam?"

"I suppose so."

Just I want to Congratulate Ninja and Mizal for winning the battle! Well, done and you are all an inspiration for people like me. So keep the good work.

How the hell did I get Second Loser? Lol, Camelon must've really done something to annoy Endmaster with his.

I had a feeling Ninja would win, but congrats to @Wannabe_Human . I haven't had a chance to read yours yet and I'm now looking forward to it.

Everyone who entered at all should be pretty proud and pleased about that, considering the SHAME pit ate fully a dozen failures this time, and there was similar carnage in the ranks at CoG...although as I understand it they've just been sentenced to be hugged a bit and praised for trying. I'm still particularly impressed with Mara, her dedication to writing every single day was inspiring and I'm trying to get more serious about my own efforts now. (and have totally been writing and not playing Battle Chef Brigade every moment I'm not at work the last couple days....)

Meanwhile, Solskin: still a dumbass for withdrawing, he had enough decent material written it might've even turned the tide of this battle in CoG's favor But I guess that's one for the historians to speculate about.

Yeah, Well dedication without Skills, means nothing as I have shown myself. Still, I am glad to serve as inspiration for you, one has to always try to work hard to strive for the best possible version on oneself.

Counting both sides, there are probably something like 20 people in total who had zero dedication, meaning any skill they may or may not possess is meaningless because they didn't fucking produce anything with it. You should be very smug right now as you laugh at those people.

No, I am very depressed deleting all links to my game and banishing it from existence. lol. Another day another battle for improving that is how it should be.

I somehow imagined there were other CoGers racing into battle just behind me, and didn't realise until after I quietly turned tail that I was the cavalry. If we have another one of these site vs. site contests I'll have to join if only to redeem my dumbassery. Until then, I'll just have to take my punishment of hugs and praise like a man.

You know Gower, I feel like this story skipped over a lot of important things. Such as how a trip to dig up a few gems and meeting some resistance ended with Endmaster being redeclared the Unholy Godking of Infinity. This feels like a teaser to a sequel which you will undoubtedly charge us money for and I'm onto your game.

snaps fingers

Damn, figured my entry wouldn’t hold up as soon as I read some of the other ones.  Congrats to ninja, Wannabe, and Mizal, y’all killed it.  

Think of the doodle you did in the margin of your notebook, the one I confiscatedXD
Good job, to those who finished, SHAME be upon those that did not, and congratulations to Ninja, Wannabe, and Mizal. In that order.

Thanks for throwing the contest. Between three different sites, integrating story posts, and judging all the entries, there's a good amount of time put into it all. Same goes for the other judges, End and Theo. I enjoyed reading the other entries and it was cool to see different takes on the theme. I really think you should publish them here as well, you know, in the land of the living. Feels good to win one of these things for a change, although there's no time for celebrating, like Jay-Z I'm on to the next one.

Did he really just quote Jay-Z in his victory speech?

It was totally my pleasure.  Maybe we'll do it again some time on some other planet.  This galaxy isn't going to conquer itself, after all. 

 

I had these as my final scores.

CYS Entrants:

The Sanguine and Blackbeard's Cutlass by ninjapitka 89

Broken Hunger, by poison_mara 80

Land of the Setting Sun, by TheChef 75

Pew, by Corgi 39

Savages of the Sacred Salvage, by Mizal 95

Blade of the Hollow, by Camelon 85

CoG Entrants:

All Things Will End, by Wannabe_Human 70

 

Not sure why Mizal thinks I don't like Camelon, I had him in third place with my scores. Everyone who entered more or less did well or better. Except for Corgi who accepted being a retard a long time ago.

You are quite generous in your notes like too much. Anyway, for me was a great experience to show that ai can adhere to a deadline and to know that I am not skilled enough to be a writer.  So a great contest.

I actually really liked yours. It was funny, and unexpected. It didn't seem rushed at all, other than the short length in some paths. And considering mine had no endings except death scenes and maybe one midway ending (Nekron, I think,) and I didn't have time to link the last small section to half the story, I didn't think mine would score as high as it did. But hey, now I can go finish mine, and maybe spruce it up a bit.

You certainly should you have a great story in the making that could gaing a lot with some variables and polishing

I really liked your story. I'm kind of sad I won't be able to finish it. :(

What story are you talking about?

Broken Hunger, you unpublished it and your deleting the links. It's a terrific story, and I liked it anyway. I hadn't finished it yet, so that's what I am sad about.

Anyway, you're the author, so it's your choice whether you want it published or not. So I respect your decision, although I do not like it 

I was really upset with my own personal working and the quality of my story, that I thought far from the quality of the site. and everyone interested has already checked it out.  But It makes me happy with your reaction. That means someone like it. I will put the story again if there is someone interested. I would take it back in December to polish it and add stuff.

Your story was way better than most of the stories on IS. Don't sell yourself short. Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good. You wrote an interesting piece that had some great (and creepy) parts, it would be a shamd to just throw it all away.

Did you catch the Eternal reference? I forgot I left that in.

I saw the reference on my first play through.