AgentX, The Contributor
"Time for my hourly dose of devil's water."
Hello, viewer. In case you were wondering, I don't look like Kermit the Frog.
Considering the fact that my writing speed is comparable to that of a fast snail, I usually spend my time rating and commenting on stories here (not that I'll get any more featured).
Anyways, if you care to discuss about most topics, fire a PM whenever you see that guy called AgentX online.
"There is nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequal people." -Tommy Jefferson
Pinging, ringing, zinging, and kabooming cloud everything. For an eyeblink in time the smoke clears and the ground, a literal lattice of bodies, provides a horrific but all-too-common site...in 1944.
Not only is this my first storygame, it is also the first in my potentially new Alternate Reality Series (in which time will judge whether I'll take up the nerve to work on or not).
My entry for the Chaos Contest.
NOTE: This is historical fiction, and as such there WILL be inaccuracies compared to reality. And though one can die in the story more than he or she can live, that's because this presents the many could-be struggles of a soldier in an alternate version of the D-Day Invasion.
Zombified Infectious Tumor - Medical term which describes the overreaction of an adolescent as he/she experiences for the first time a specific dermatological disorder which they have no knowledge how to deal with.
And yet another brainchild of the not-too-famous AgentX!
Find out more by clicking that glorious play button at the bottom...
Recent PostsChaos Contest Predictions/Polling Thread on 4/25/2017 7:42:09 AM
Often, the unpredictable ones are the surprising ones.
Draw My Attention (Age of Apples) on 4/25/2017 6:40:16 AM
Recommending a comment for featuring:
Alright, this was a good first attempt. Your phrasing is clumsy for now, the Ending where your father gives you a medal a month after being captured made no sense, and you spent too much time focusing on the toys of war instead of bringing out the lack of meaning of it / other issues (when you're in the trenches I presume your mind is more occupied with staying alive than profiling all the toys being used against you). That said, this was a competent story, and there was a fair bit of variation between the choices that were offered.
When you mentioned this was alternate history, I was looking forward to seeing the larger impacts of your tweaks. Unfortunately all I could find was the Germans being forewarned, and a larger invasion later. Not really much to work with, but if you expand the premise later I'd be interested in reading more.
The cannibal and gift from soldier pages were nicely written, and so I do believe that with practice and polish you will become a capable writer. Onwards and upwards!
-- StrykerL on 4/25/2017 3:41:08 AM
He also duplicated the posting of his comment, kindly delete the duplicate as well.
Chaos Contest on 4/25/2017 3:11:30 AM
Hallelujah, thank you for making that clear.
endmaster is not nice on 4/25/2017 2:58:08 AM
Why not try banning the IP, that should cut the snake by the head.
Chaos Contest on 4/25/2017 2:49:45 AM
Well, crap, I threw in my storygame with a ton of time left to spare, in a colossal gamble of 25 points.
Wish me luck that it won't be deleted.
Steve demands attention! on 4/21/2017 10:08:08 PM
So you believe in a sort of communistic rule, seeing that you believe in a government which would crush the bourgeoisie class?
Steve demands attention! on 4/21/2017 10:04:20 PM
You're Russian or something?
It's all been leading up to this! on 4/20/2017 7:03:05 PM
Sounds appropriate, seeing as you're the Grandmaster of the Dead.
Draw My Attention (Age of Apples) on 4/20/2017 4:14:16 AM
Recommending a comment for featuring:
Cheesy things taste delicious...
Your first romance is a good romance! Another beautifully sculpted piece without too much need of words.
God, you misunderestimate yourself. There is no such thing as "cheese" on this thing, it's filled with what I can see to be genuine emotion (at least during the most romantic times in a relationship).
Your wording is excellent, very few if there were any errors that I found. The storyline was not too grandiose, as it is only about the development of two people's love for each other, but you make up by meticulously fleshing it out with many details.
The progression of their ages after choices goes fast, but I like it that way. Sort of like documenting the points of interest in their lives (surely make-outs and intriguing things don't happen ALL the time, eh?).
But even this wasn't perfect. The ending felt lacking (at least the HAPPY ENDING which I got), because it's like you rushed to a final conclusion that you will live happily ever after with Candace, eveb though you only said something related to proclaiming how far you'll go just to maintain loving her.
But at least everything else was good, and that is why this story is worth every cent. 6/8.
-- AgentX on 4/20/2017 4:08:18 AM
To replace Name's featured comment.
Chaos Contest on 4/18/2017 9:19:35 AM
Chaos can be controlled. I'm placing 25 points on the table.