"Too few ratings to be ranked"
played 892 times (finished 91)
"run through the jungle"
"A well spent lunch break"
"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.
This game is just for people who want to go on a island adventure!
Here we go...
Alright, first thing I noticed about this game is that the spacing is completely screwed up. There were about 20 blank lines at the end of the very first page.
And, one of the first choices ends the game. You don't want people to click one link, give the story a bad rating, and think nothing of it do you?
I liked the writing for the first few pages, but as I progressed, the quality just got worse and worse. There is absolutely no rush to finish your storygames, put lots of effort into them, so you don't end up with extremely linear scenes and very little-detailed paragraphs.
You did manage to flesh out the setting quite well, but the plot needed a little work. There's not a lot of explanation of why many of the events are triggered.
You also need to work harder in your proofreading, because I found multiple spelling errors and grammatical errors scattered throughout the storygame.
I can see you spent quite some time on the main character's backstory, and that's great and all, but the present story was lacking the detail that the backstory shows you are clearly capable of giving.
I'll give this a 2/8, try harder, because this has potential but just needs to be fleshed out more, and less rushed :D
on 6/7/2017 11:02:20 PM
This games was too rushed and things happend without any real explanation as to why they happened. For example, why was our character selected to go on this adventure, did he have previous experience with tropical islands or something?
The grammar of this game isn't bad, but it was rather... below average and I felt that it really could have made this game more interesting if there was a proper grammar.
All in all, this game is not only lacking any real backstory on the main character(I know it's so that you can place yourself in the character, but still), but it also felt rushed along and the rather poor grammar did not help the cause a lot.
The only reason I'm rating this a 3/8 is because of what it could have been and not what it is.
on 11/24/2016 3:49:11 AM
This is way too short. Nobody likes it when the first thing they pick kills them for no apparent reason. Your writing is really good, but I think that there is a lot that could be improved. I'd say 3/8
on 11/4/2018 9:25:21 AM
Bear nomed me....
on 10/18/2017 1:55:54 PM
it is full of action pasted adventure
-- harmonie on 10/10/2017 9:10:18 AM
The spaces in front of the paragraphs were annoying.
The writing was okay but it ended almost immediately. I thought an island adventure would be more fun than this.
on 3/1/2017 4:36:53 PM
I don't like it
-- savannah on 2/16/2016 4:51:01 PM
It would be a great story if it was more fleshed out. Several choices lead to one-sentence death (if our decisions are completely random - compass directions - and some of them lead to instant game over, at least write a few paragraphs describing what went wrong). When there *is* writing, it's good, so you are definitely capable of creating a very good game, just please don't get lazy on some of the paths.
-- Nona on 11/1/2015 11:13:22 AM
-- jelly on 7/25/2014 10:03:21 PM
Not very good....
-- flame on 7/8/2014 4:06:16 PM
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