Player Comments on Orion

Orion was not bad for a first story, but it would have been greatly improved with a little more effort put into explaining things and making sure everything made sense. There can still be mystery and things the reader does not know without being so seemingly random and nonsensical.

There were a lot of choices, and while some were pretty much pointless and there was some re-branching, there was a pretty good amount of actual branching and choices that made an impact on the story.

The main character is a real unlikable idiot sometimes. There are some parts of Orion that make me think this story may have been written as a cautionary tale about weed making you stupid. For example, he expresses a great deal of surprise when the war against Orion starts. “ArEn’T wE aLLiEs?!” Allies don’t take the entire world for years with no real sign of that changing.
Other characters were really holding the idiot ball at times too. When chaos has just taken over the city, and you are trying to avoid that, why would anyone go out to screw some whore in the truck? And why would she be offering rather than trying to survive like everyone else?
It would have been nice if there had been more character development at the beginning too. Some of the early choices were totally pointless except for relationships with characters that were going to die anyway. If I am to care about what I do for some chick, there’d better be either an actual effect on the story, or I should actually care ABOUT the chick.
While we’re on that, the main guy is a real prick. He considers the roommate a heartless dick for saying they should go after the chick dies and city erupts into chaos, yet in the path where roommate dies first, he’s just, “tough luck—oh sweet, your girlfriend’s not taken anymore.”

I was pretty annoyed by the constant mention of characters being blond (it is BLOND without the ‘e’ for men) and other physical descriptions. They did turn out to be semi-relevent, but it would have been nice had they been worked more naturally into the story. The very first paragraph of the story was literally saying what the main guy and his sister-in-law looked like and what their jobs were. It was an opening truly worthy of Quotev.
That all ties into Orion holding the idiot ball too. The little dead girlfriend’s smexy brown eyes and hair are mentioned as a reason she was captured as a “non-Aryan.” While she wasn’t a poster child for the Aryan ideal like our main guy, if Orion’s plan is to continue the Holocaust, they aren’t going to go after people for hair color. Then you’d have to keep an eye on every blond kid to make sure their hair didn’t go brown or vice-versa, and that is just ridiculous.

Also, why is “the entire globe” going into space? Especially since it was shown that there is an antidote for the zombie disease that is obviously available enough that the random stoner who shows up to board the overcrowded ship is given it rather than just being shot or something.
Somebody had to organize and pay for the space thing in advance.

The dialogue often made me cringe, as did the phonetically written accents. If a character is speaking with a modern-day, real-life accent, then just say he is and adjust the grammar accordingly rather than making me suffer through your poor visualization of it.

A little more thought into things and some more likeable characters would have made this a pretty good story, but as it was, I would not recommend it.
-- Cricket on 6/7/2019 11:52:43 AM with a score of 0
Nice. It had an amazing amount of options, good plot, and was really good overall. What I think could have made this game better though was if there had been items. Like a shotgun or lantern or something you see in zombie survival games. Also, the cursing just kind of ruined it for me. You don't need that in a game to make it good or to sound cool because it just makes the game kind of cheap.

6/8
-- JMgskills on 5/19/2012 9:56:11 AM with a score of 0
fantasic
-- sparkEfly on 8/17/2019 12:28:04 AM with a score of 0
Bad
-- The_L on 5/31/2019 1:08:46 PM with a score of 0
So... how does it end?
-- Geordie on 5/14/2019 6:35:12 AM with a score of 0
Damn, I died! lol
-- Quorrah on 9/1/2018 5:20:16 PM with a score of 0
NO! I wanted to finish it but instead, I was left on a cliff hanger this sucks but the game itself is ok
-- Raven123 on 9/6/2017 6:43:38 PM with a score of 0
I got the ending with 'to be continued'. Is it still being published?
-- _skye_ on 7/30/2017 1:26:23 PM with a score of 0
He needed some apocalyptic companionship
-- Steveend on 6/25/2017 7:29:00 PM with a score of 0
***Spoiler***

I'm an honorary gang member? Funny. I liked it. Way too short. :(
-- Quorrah on 12/19/2016 11:13:32 PM with a score of 0
Great story! Well written! Much action! Many choices! I don't know why I just used so many exclamation points!?!? Seriously I can't wait until the next one.
-- BigRonn77 on 9/22/2016 1:47:06 PM with a score of 0
Try not to get eaten by Zombies.
-- tester on 8/31/2016 12:58:07 AM with a score of 0
More
-- Grandpa on 7/31/2016 3:55:36 AM with a score of 0
2 short
-- crusader on 5/30/2016 3:48:55 PM with a score of 0
I think I've reviewed this game once before, but I got the Highwayman Ending this time. This is brilliantly written. 7/8
-- PortalSpartan on 4/28/2015 7:38:43 PM with a score of 0
AWSOME JUST AWAOMENESS
-- Zombiesluverslayah on 12/12/2014 5:40:38 PM with a score of 0
fuck! Oh fuck! My hand! My hand!
Good story. Keep it up.
-- eternal on 9/26/2014 1:28:33 PM with a score of 0
Great story. Not too long, good amount of text on each page. Decisions made sense and actually did something, although there were a few too many die links for my liking. Still a brilliant story. 8/8
-- insanebutvain on 8/25/2014 7:29:09 PM with a score of 0
At first when I saw the title I thought it read Onion, but it didn't.
It read Orion, the star sign.
-- EarthCollision on 3/8/2014 3:12:13 PM with a score of 0
Interesting, a sequel would be interesting.
-- PcGenie on 2/27/2014 5:36:40 AM with a score of 0
Y U NO MAKE SEQUEL?!
-- naruyashan on 11/24/2013 7:49:57 PM with a score of 0
Entertaining but short.
-- m2mach on 10/13/2013 2:30:14 PM with a score of 0
Well I really enjoyed this one, good writing and the choices wern't instant death (well not all of them)
-- FeanorOnForge on 4/5/2013 1:59:57 PM with a score of 0
Over before you know it
-- DarthNelly on 3/27/2013 2:25:43 PM with a score of 0
It was very interesting, and well-written, but much too short. Maybe a sequel??
-- Mercedes on 1/21/2013 5:15:26 PM with a score of 0
Sigh, another promising game, thats never going to be entirely finished, because the author has left the site...
-- CovElite on 10/20/2012 1:59:50 AM with a score of 0
what with "to be continued?!
-- Omegagoldfish on 9/17/2012 6:20:23 PM with a score of 0
good more details
-- blade12 on 8/18/2012 10:12:59 PM with a score of 0
Awesome story :-) good work!
-- Chaka on 6/20/2012 2:23:02 PM with a score of 0
Not bad for a first game, could be longer though
-- Xt1000305 on 6/2/2012 10:48:45 AM with a score of 0
One thing, what about the pilots?
-- Swiftstryker on 5/24/2012 8:07:01 PM with a score of 0
Im impressed by this story and it also impresses me that this is your first. Make a sequel.
-- XXXXXX on 5/23/2012 6:52:42 PM with a score of 0
Wow. Excellent for your first. Hell, excellent for anything. I would rate 6/8, but it's your first, which I believe makes it deserve more merit. 7/8
-- written_agreement on 5/19/2012 9:37:26 PM with a score of 0
Nice
-- RobustSporadic on 5/19/2012 11:31:03 AM with a score of 0
Thats pretty good. Only I would have prefered more orion then zombies. I also found it a bit silly that both zombies and orion happen at the same time. But yeah pretty cool overall. rated it a 6
-- bradhal on 5/19/2012 9:54:27 AM with a score of 0
The story branches were entertaining and believable, and the long pages of text were surprisingly easy to read through.I didn't mind your use of swearing in the dialogue, but it came across as immature in your storytelling.
-- estelwen on 5/19/2012 2:21:31 AM with a score of 0
Well done; though the number use in place of words was a little jarring. It also seemed rather short for a Play Length 6, but I plan on going back and trying other paths to see how else it plays out =)
-- BerkaZerka on 5/18/2012 5:31:47 PM with a score of 0
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