Player Comments on The Midnight Hours

I liked how the story started, but this one just kind of collapsed after. You should have given more background with the story of Vampires, Demi-gods, and Werewolves. You don't even say what kind of god the character is part of. Some of the options don't quite make much sense, but they aren't as bad as others that I've seen. I'd add more though for a more outwardly expanding plot.

I couldn't help but notice that like a lot of lower quality storygames here, you too added the whole live or die choices, and you even made it worse by putting it in the first page. There's not even any kind of warning as to what happens if you choose the death option, so it was a bummer.

Now, you did as good as the average CYS author when it comes to grammar and spelling, but that's easily fixed. I know I'm picky about it, as you can tell from my other comments, but sound grammar is a crucial part to a good storygame.

Clearly, effort was put into this, but I think a bit more would be better on the whole.

4/8
-- Nyctophilia on 8/29/2017 9:18:17 PM
I really liked this story.
The idea was original and intelligent and the economic writing style of using short, punchy sentences was particularly impressive. It is a shame that this idea could was not taken further but you did great with the storyline you have and got maximum impact out of events, though a few scenes like the gunfight could perhaps have used a little more detail. Overall a great story :)
-- Will11 on 3/29/2015 2:23:49 AM
It wasn't a bad story.

Ignoring anything related to grammar mistakes (because honestly, I didn't see too many, though there were some slight inconsistencies like when the witches attack you), I thought the plot was fairly unique, but that the story was not fleshed out enough. I really wish that the story could have been longer in certain portions.

Also, I wish that for death endings like the one for the leviathan you would have been more descriptive. Granted, what you wrote wasn't something like "OMG UR DED LOLZ," but it wold have nice.

Overall, it served as a distraction from any homework over spring break, but there wasn't enough engagement to really make me entirely interested (even if I did slay a demon in the end).

A passable 4/8.
-- LeoScales7 on 3/28/2015 8:09:01 PM
I really like the plot, but maybe add some more to the ending, and the backgrounds of witches, werewolves, vampires, and demi-gods.
-- Cookiekat1029 on 11/24/2017 12:16:39 PM
Okay, uh...I'm not sure what I just read, but it felt like the wrong genre entirely. It starts out really well with a good plot to carry it, some alright characters...but then we start getting demi-gods? Werewolves? Witches? FIGHTING SATAN?

I mean come on, it's hard to take any of this seriously. There's no real foundation, nothing that even tries to say to the reader "yeah, you're immortal, just roll with it". It doesn't make sense why Satan's worshippers would start attacking him on the spot and that he actually has a hard time with them.

The writing itself was decent, but the plot was just daft and fell apart.
-- Saika on 9/29/2017 8:48:45 AM
This was a lot more interesting than I expected...
-- crazygurl on 7/2/2017 3:12:51 PM
Nice.
-- Voltage on 11/28/2016 11:36:12 AM
This game was too easy. I clicked on random choices each time and kept getting the same result
-- JimmySutton on 12/11/2015 9:39:40 AM
Well, that escalated quickly.
-- PortalSpartan on 7/15/2015 12:13:43 AM
So at first I thought it was an ok story. But it immediately rushed to the plot. It progressed way too quickly. At first everything's normal, then all of a sudden there's werewolves, vampires, and gunfights. Just take more time to get into the story rather than rushing into it. And it was pretty cheesy aswell and at some points unrealistic.
-- SonicTurboTurtle on 7/2/2015 3:24:20 PM
Very interesting plot, at least you can win.
-- WizzyCat on 4/7/2015 6:17:58 AM
A great story! I really like the imagination that goes into the plot, and (thank you!) this story is fairly lengthy, which is good.
-- imagine13 on 3/30/2015 8:43:49 PM
Really weird but good
-- ilovewaffles11 on 3/29/2015 3:46:01 PM
It is an okay story, but it did not feel fluid from one page to another. One moment I am spitting in Lucifer's face the next I step out of my taxi to fall in a pit. Which at the time I did not even know I was in the desert. Overall not bad, but could be better. 4/8
-- jaryeth on 3/29/2015 1:03:28 PM
This story was very good for some of the ones published recently. I liked it a lot! 5/8
-- Creature on 3/29/2015 3:56:26 AM
It was slightly intriguing. It wasn't horrible by any means, but I can tell your not used to making stories. Maybe you should add more detail instead of- "He went there and did that." Add juicy detail to direct the plot more smoothly.
-- RoyalGhost on 3/29/2015 2:49:22 AM
The idea of God-worshipping vampires seems strange to me, but nevertheless I like the idea, just a little bit. I feel that this story needs a lot more detail, especially in the first summoning of Lucifer and the Leviathan scene. Another "good" path would also be nice.
-- jamescoker1226 on 3/28/2015 10:23:20 PM
I AM....IMMORTAL!!!!! DI IMMORTALES!!!!


Btw, this was a great game overall. Those fricking bastards were nothing compared to the power of holy water!!! You can drink it! You can vomit it! You can do anything with holy water :OOOOOO ^-^ But anyways, there could be a bit more detail as well as more dialogue. Thanks ^_^!!!
-- WarriorCatsRPStories on 3/28/2015 8:06:58 PM
Close Window