The Time Machine Episode 1: Time Travel

Player Rating3.75/8

"#339 overall, #39 for 2006"
based on 144 ratings since 09/10/2006
played 759 times (finished 158)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length3/8

"A nice jog down the driveway"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

One day you receive a package in the mail. You look inside and find a Make-Your-Own-Time-Machine kit. You go to school and come home to find all of the peices missing! Try to find all of them!

Note:  I've fixed the locker problem and have change the "Read some books" page around a bit.

 

Player Comments

Time Machine part 1? Like the fact that there's a real-life gamebook series which was also called the Time Machine? Oh, this one is different.

I thought this was fairly decent. It was more of a linear puzzle-solving game than any actual time-travel - the game feels like it's teasing in that respect. It might as well be about finding the missing pieces of a jigsaw! All you really do is build it and then the game ends.

As for the missing pieces getting lost...it started to get a little silly.

a) Somebody took one of the missing pieces out of your room...put it in the basement, LOCKED the basement, and chucked the key in the freezer
b) A random dog snuck into your room and grabbed another piece of the time machine (but only that one piece)
c) Someone grabbed the crystal from your room, went to school and put it in a locker (you are able to identify exactly which locker it is and have a 1/3 chance of knowing the combination even though there are probably thousands of different combinations)

Aside from all that, it was still decent and very fun. I loved how you could choose to pick up your skateboard and *still* walk to school. With a bit of work it could be a very good storygame.
-- Saika on 3/27/2017 11:06:28 AM with a score of 4
The first thing I noticed is that the writing is very choppy and simple. These sentences are averaging around six words each, and lower the quality of the storygame. I recommend combining some of these sentences and improving the complexity of some of your words with more detail and backstory.

The use of items is completely unnecessary, since you add a link to use the item, rather than the reader having to use it themselves. For example, on the second page the reader receives a large package. Instead of getting to use it, there's a link to open it. This makes the item completely unnecessary, but I guess you were just experimenting with the advanced editor.

Foreshadowing is neccessary in every storygame (in my opinion) because then the reader has no clue as to what will happen. One example is how the reader has an option to build the time machine rather than go to school, but there's no foreshadowing to say that the crystal will break (spoiler!) and that's the end already.

This isn't a bad story at all, and I like the idea behind it. I just wish it was longer and provided more detail and backstory for our character and the situations we face. On a final note, you did pretty well with proofreading, because I didn't no notice any errors in spelling and grammar.

3/8

-- Nyctophilia on 2/28/2017 6:54:17 PM with a score of 3
Awesome Does Not Approve!
This game could have potential. It doesn't have it, but it could. I mean, it shoves you along for the ride, and there isn't much time to think other than to click random links.
One thing, how the heck did the gear turn up in the basement? Did I miss something? And why does my family keep the keep to it in the freezer? A bit of backstory and a thicker plot would've helped here.
Another thing, going to school. Is that whole trying to make it on time and leaving just a big excuse to hide the crystal there? I would add more to the school element, if not delete it completely. Just a couple things to think on.
Add an actually plot, and a richer story and vocabulary too.
3/8
-- awesomeness1242 on 6/10/2013 11:26:12 PM with a score of 4
It was fun it could be a good story if you continue it.
-- Jasmyn on 2/20/2017 2:11:24 PM with a score of 4
OK, firstly, the game part of this is decent. Finding the missing pieces is a simple but effective way to structure your game and I think it's good that you attempted to make it into more of a puzzle. However, there were a few things that didn't make sense. Firstly, how did all of the pieces suddenly get lost in those places? It seems somewhat impossible for that to happen. Also, finding a key in the freezer is a bit odd. If you work on making the pieces fit together AND make sense, you'd be on for a good story, as I like the 'build a time machine' idea.
-- tjwilliams555 on 2/16/2017 6:15:07 PM with a score of 4
The dog that bites you has rabies??? How!

Plus, the dog that you sprayed with the water gun has the bolt, the crystal's in a locker, and the gear is in the basement? I don't see how the heck the gear got in the basement.
-- Gamechannger78 on 3/20/2016 5:09:58 PM with a score of 4
A little short
-- TheNetherDragon on 1/26/2016 12:11:45 PM with a score of 4
Meh... It's very short and doesn't have much description. Once you go out the house to look for pieces, there is no way back in the house. Don't waste your time reading this.
-- amybri18 on 4/25/2015 2:57:53 AM with a score of 2
Fun..and kind of hard to find all pieces but there are spelling mistakes.
-- ShadowHunterJunior on 3/14/2015 10:38:33 AM with a score of 4
It's not bad. Background needs explaing in more depth as to why the key to the basement is in the freezer etc. This has the basis of a good game but needs to be expanded.
-- Jordi P on 10/15/2014 11:59:38 AM with a score of 4
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