Jimmy the dog jumped up again, trying to see out the window. Sure, it's the moon, but the lunar base had windows, and he wanted to see what was happening. Nathan, his owner, reached down and ruffled his ears. "Ready to go?" he asked with a chuckle. His mom thought he was crazy for bringing the big English Setter to Seraphim 5, but the truth was that the boys were inseparable ever since Jimmy saved his owner during the harrowing camping incident at Shadow Mountain. It was only reasonable that the two would become the best of friends because of that. 

Jimmy barked, happy that his owner wanted to go out with him. He began to scratch at the door, then barked when he heard someone knocking on the other side. "Calm down," Nathan said, opening the door. He tried to shut it again when he saw their visitor was his ex, Victoria, but she quickly blocked the door with her foot. 

“Come now, is that any way to treat a lady?” she asked, as she pushed her way into the door. 

Nathan gulped nervously. He hated that bitch, but another part of him (literally) told him he didn't. Jimmy the dog barked excitedly at this intruder, his tail wagging. 

Before either could react, Victoria jammed a needle in Nathan's neck. When he awoke, he was on a ship arriving at Mars, minus his wallet. He groaned. Jimmy barked happily. Nathan tried to clear his head and realized that he could not feel his legs. He looked down to see that they had been hacked off just below the knees. 

“Ugh,” Nathan groaned, and dropped his head back down against the floor. That bitch is evil. My wallet? Sure. My legs though? Come on. Those fucking prosthetics cost a fortune. Using what little strength his noodle arms had, Nathan dragged himself into a little red wagon nearby. Hitching Jimmy's leash to the handle, Nathan was mobile again. 

Nathan scanned the room for anything that could get back to Seraphim 5. Jimmy saw a mouse scamper by and rushed towards it, taking Nathan with him. The mouse was biomechanical, augmented to derive nutrients from cleaning filth. The animal cruelty folks got up in arms about it, but low-budget freighters always had these. It would likely lead them to a garbage chute. 

"Jimmy, stop!" he yelled, frantic. 

"Whoa!" a crewmember exclaimed, managing to halt the wagon. "That dog can really run! You should enter him in the race." 

"Race?" Nathan asked, confused. "What race?" 

"The 142nd Semi-Annual Dog Race," the crewmember explained. "It's 3 kilometers long." The crewmember then added, "Which is about 2 miles long." 

Nathan glanced at his stumps. 

"That won't stop you from racing. Assuming Turbowagon doesn't bump you off the track." 

The crewmember tears up, looking down at his feet, which have numerous ingrown toenails. "Don't miss this opportunity to win prize money you can use to buy yourself wonderful new feet!" 

"We're leaving right now!" Nathan decided. 

When Nathan and Jimmy turned to leave, the crewmember shouted, "Hey! If you do end up trying out for that race, you should know the renowned dog racing champion, Victoria, will be there!" Nathan raised a hand to acknowledge the crew member on their way out. Half hoping it’s the Victoria they know, and half hoping it’s not. 

After a few misadventures, they arrived at the track. "It's about time you got here," Victoria said, scratching her dachshund's ears. "You nearly missed the deadline." 

"All contestants to the starting line!" came the announcement. 

"Bitch! You stole my legs!" 

"Nathan, is now really the time? Besides, you needed to get off the moon! You needed adventure! And I needed to pay off the mob."

"The MOB!?"

"Shh! I just gotta avoid the reptoids 'till I've paid it off! Figured you'd be a shoe-in for 5th. It's good to have chaff taking up the roster."

"Oh This just wonderful, How about instead of joining this stupid race, I cut YOUR legs to sell them on the black market, What the hell is wrong with you?”

Oh please End, Gangstas ain't got shit on out criminals.

A little something for anti-air:

And something more for anti-tank:,

now you see why our cops love badints eh?

Well this post is mostly dedicated to bitching about your local government, Be it in a constructive manner, or proclaiming the right of a new crusade/Reich, one great thing I want to bitch about is the fact that even our National museum, that caught fire, only costed 500k BRL per year to run it, yet for 6 to 7 years received just received 100k per year, and now after the commotion great things are surfacing.

We have a project called Rouanet Law, that dictates the application of funds to our culture and preservation of historical museums, great, if it were true, Rouanet's law has at its disposal roughly 40 to 80 million in funds, but what do they do with it?

Shit like "Shrek the Musical" with a funding of 20 MILLION BRL, among other great things, like giving 800k to a "museum" that said it was for the LGBT group but the main exhibit was a REAL middle aged naked guy being fondled by REAL children ( I kid you not), goddamn I love this country.
 

This was Probably the funniest archeology news I've read in quite some time,

http://time.com/5371503/ancient-egypt-tomb-old-cheese/

Well maybe not this article, but I couldn't find the NBCI article, but still, a 3400-year-old cheese littered with an unknown variant of an deadly disease, what could go wrong.

I would Bitch some More, but then it would go far beyond the subject of this thread, so I'll just make another thread.

The problem started in 1889 when we stopped being an empire, it just went downhill from there.

On a more serious note, yeah definitively was our socialist gov..

"If only someone had realized the hydrants were just completely non functional modern art pieces before this tragedy occurred...", Oh but they did, almost all of our hydrants are completely dead, that's especially so in Rio.

A tragedy indeed, most cultured brazilians are furious about the proper mismanagement of funds, but this was expected, there's a general lack of funding, as the "culture" budget is directed towards rich assholes whos only talent is being lucky enough to have an audience even dumber than they are, and that's for them to go on national TV like pricks and suck the dicks of the politicians that gave them money like the whores they are,

Continuing, multiple museums are in the same disrepair, as I myself volunteered to repair some of the electronics in a military museum who I've visited every couple of months, because of the 100k (all the money I'll talk in this post will be BRL divide it by four and you'll get USD) they needed per year, they were getting 10-20k, fucking disgraceful, many, and I do mean MANY, priceless artifacts have been lost to piss poor management, this only caught the news because of the "oohhh eeey big fiah".

Btw just to put it in perspective how stupid our current system is the minimum funding required by our national museum was 500k, it got 100k, the current funding to wash our deputies cars (our version of overpaid senatorial aids) is 700k, yes just to WASH THE BLOODY CARS, our lovely ex-president who is in jail with over 50 counts of corruption, is still entitled to, and this may get a little long:

Four security guards: 13k salary each per month,

Two offical cars: more than a million each, tax per year in the 50k range, and of course "free" gas,

8 assistants with salary in the 14k range,

two separate 9k retirement salaries,

a massive undisclosed ammount for housing "assistance",

some other bells and wissles,

amounting to an estimated cost of over 4 million per year, and THAT'S FOR A FUCKING GUY THAT'S IN PRISON.

P.S. Just saw a video of the aftermath, and I don't believe it, in the midst of all the  destruction a single cabinet stood unscathed by the fire, THE FUCKING POLITICAL AND SOCIAL GROUP FLYER CABINET,

I'm done, what fucking loopy land is this shit.

That's Not Fear I smell is it?

This thread is going to go on forever, I did realize what Steve was doing before even entering the thread, and I do believe that Zass did as well, but we Brazilians hate leaving a fight, especially one that we are so clearly winning, and we have a little bit of difficulty in letting it go.

I decided to leave the argument because what I already said what I thought, but this?

"It actually wouldn't take that much money, and that could be solved by borrowing money to help pay for this, and then overall saving enough money to easily pay that back. Brazil's debt isn't even that high, the US has a larger debt as a percentage of its GDP, at 105.4% of it, than Brazil's, at 83.98%."

Well, that just proves how you know shit about economy or the costs of running a national prison system, Having a larger debt/GDP ratio doesn't mean that a country is more or less financially capable, the US economy is roughly 10 times larger as Brazil while having less than 60% more population than here, but that's not the single problem with your sentence, having a rehabilitation procedure  would cost an astronomical amount of money, especially on a system so fucking broken as ours, and rehabilitating only works if there's something to come back from when you leave prison, in the shitstorm we're in it wouldn't mean anything.

In fact, having a better prison system would be detrimental since now prisoners would have a better life inside bars than out in the open.

And to top it all off, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR A COUNTRY TO "SIMPLY BORROW MONEY", the FMI is already at our throats for austerity plans and to borrow money to improve the conditions of people who broke the law, and not to improve our shitty educational or health systems, now that would be the day would it?

The more I think about this subject the more I'm drawn towards the Final solution of sorts, if it worked before, it can now, one example I can think from the back of my mind is the take over of most favelas by a joint effort of our security forces (we literally drove tanks up the hill) but weren't allowed to pursue the criminals who escaped because "that wasn't their mission", flash forward two years, those same fucks who got away are now returning and slaughtering, not killing, slaughtering police officers and civies alike in the favelas, and now the PO's are scared to even return fire, because the commie media paints them as bandits, fucking hell I wished WW3 would hurry the fuck up, because we need a reset.