The edited version of "ABNORM4L". In progress of changing the story based on comments in the forum, and writing more. Probably will take a long time to finish.

Thanks for the advice! 

Is there a way to come up with a catchy title, or a title that would draw the reader's attention?

Okay, thanks for the suggestion! I'll be sure to do something about that first choice.

Thanks! 

If there's no gender choice, would I just assume from the start that the reader is a certain gender, or leave the reader genderless?

Haha okay! 

And I haven't read any mspaint pieces, but a lot of my friends have.

Okay, I'll add the descriptions to the beginning. Thanks for the advice!

Okay! Thanks a lot for your advice! 

Do you think it would be okay to explain who the character is and the backstory in the following chapters as a type of a hook? Or would the lack of explanation completely lose a reader?

Hey guys, so I have no experience with writing story games prior to this, so I might need some advice... Is this too long for a page? Too little choices or too little/much description?  Am I allowed to use replacements such as 'Sam Hill' and others for obscene language, or should I take that out completely? Tell me what you guys think and any suggestions, please :> Thanks!

The screams of a woman sends shivers up your spine. Man, those people are still mad creepy, although not as horrifying as they were a year ago. You've listened to their screams too many times. In the beginning you were scared to death, but now, you've almost become numbed to it. You've seen too many people dying, too many people being eaten alive. 

The zombies roamed the crumbling city, making sure that every creature that moves is dead. You're now one of the last people left. 

Well, not that you'd be really considered a person. You look mostly human, except for your eyes that have every hue of blue spiraling in the irises, and your deep, dark blue hair that is matted and dirty at the moment, like a bird's nest. Oh yes, you can't forget the horns. They look like goats' horns, except a lot shorter, maybe only two inches long. Still, long enough to kill some zombies, which is where you have the bits of red grime from. Your hair conceals most of it, though, so it's barely noticeable. And the fangs. Not so long that they come out of your mouth, just about an inch long, just long enough to easily rip through good meat. Your mouth waters for steak just by thinking about it. Too bad you won't be having any until you respawn.

The faded moon seems to shake, as if it knew of your incoming doom. You spot PLAYER 2 in the distance, wandering among the rubble, clutching his pistol. The player's avatar is a pretty lean and tall teenager, a bit skinnier and taller than you. He has jet-black hair that falls to his chin, and darkly tanned skin. The player's unnatural, jerky movements showed that the player was still new to the game. A horrifying zombie followed, somehow soundlessly dragging its half-detached leg. Its flesh hung in tattered rags on its face, the gray, ashen skin infested with bugs. 

As you've rehearsed a thousand times before, you run in, throwing yourself on the zombie. "PLAYER 2! You must go! There's no more time!" It sounds mad cheesy but you have to say the dumb words. What were the developers thinking, putting this in the script? 

The stupid PLAYER 2 doesn't move. It doesn't even try to save you like the last player did in the previous game. The zombie's rotten fangs dig into your back, its claws tearing into your flesh. The pain never gets old.

You respawn at the House, the small building where all the characters go after they die in the game. Not even the players are allowed here, unless they use hacks, which one person did at one point. You all had quickly killed them before the screen could show what was inside the building.

You collapse on a sofa, exhausted. The end of the game was coming soon. Then another player would come, and you'll have to be eaten again. You suddenly realize that the building is oddly quiet. It's the end of the game, just about everyone should be in the House by now.

What in the Sam Hill?

The House suddenly turns black, everything turns black. All you see is black. Then a green code starts writing. The endless, indecipherable text keeps on going and going, non-stop. 

What's happening? 

You feel yourself depixelating, as you always do after you die in-game. But this time, it's different. You feel yourself being sucked away, through a black hole that you can't see. 

And then you don't feel anything. You don't see anything. You don't hear anything. You're nothing. Just nothing floating in an abyss of nothing. 

Then a flash of light bursts through the dark space.

You open your eyelids, they feel heavier than usual. You see an unfamiliar man that you've never seen in the House before, shining a light into your eyes. Could he be a new player? No, he doesn't have the nametag.

The room is a blinding white... And there's a new, unfamiliar sense... Smell. You've never smelled anything before, but this is different. You take a deep breath, taking in the smell that you can even taste in the back of your mouth.

"You're finally awake," the man said in a monotone voice. You look at him closer, peering at his graying hair, the deep wrinkles that permanently dent his face from frowning so much, the pale skin that looks almost like a zombie itself, and the thick glasses that makes his eyes look abnormally large. There's a long moment of silence. "Are you mute, kid? Talk. Tell me, are you a boy or a girl?" 

• I'm a boy.
• I'm a girl.

Hey! It's really nice to meet you as well, and I'm looking forward to reading your stories, too! :D 

Hey guys! :D Thanks for the welcome!!

@Cynical, I think my favorite film would probably be some action film, like MIB or Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation~

There's probably others that I like more, but I can't think of it at the moment...

@breezy134, Thanks! ^u^

@ZagHero, haha I think I'll love CYStia a lot, as well! Thanks xD

@Seshat_RedScriber, Thanks! Welcome to you too!

Okay! Thanks for the tip!