1/19/2025

1/20/2025 11:55 AM

2

0

0 wins / 0 losses

Sage

Thanks for the advice! I'll keep it in mind for next time.

Hey I wrote a very short story and a friend recommended I post it here for feedback. Tell me what you guys think. "Yuri had been walking through farmland almost 20 minutes now in pitch dark trying to find a friendly soldier. After a while he found a white wooden two story house. Having not eaten anything in almost a day he had no choice but to enter it. Yuri first looked through the windows and saw no one, he then kicked down the door with his Kalashnikov. Nobody was in the living room so he continued searching the house, downstairs there was only the bathroom, kitchen, and living room. Yuri continued and went upstairs. Upstairs there was only one bedroom. He knocked the door open and saw a man sleeping next to a pistol. Yuri immediately shot the man. A woman was sleeping next to him, she immediately woke up screaming. He shot her too. On another bed there was a younger girl who looked 10-12, she started screaming and crying after seeing Yuri kill the two people.Yuri aimed his gun at her but did not shoot. He realized she was not a threat. Yuri buried the two bodies while the girl continued to scream and cry for 2 hours before she stopped saying anything completely. Yuri attempted to communicate with her but she said nothing. Yuri stayed up all night watching her. The next day he went into the kitchen and cooked some food for himself and the girl. He picked her up and tried to get her to eat but she didn’t. Eventually he force fed her so she wouldn’t die. This continued for 2 weeks until the food ran out. After this he started to harvest the potatoes and they had to eat potatoes for months. The girl still didn’t talk or say anything. One day, 6 months later, he heard the bombs stop dropping and concluded the war was over. He decided to go back home but brought the girl with him. The people in his hometown were confused about the girl but he never said anything about it. She still never talked to anyone. One day the girl took a knife and stabbed her throat, she bled out and died before anyone could save her, Yuri took his own life by shooting himself the next week."