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I was walking down the street,
When I came upon the sight, 
Staring at the sky, as I meet,
Your eyes, that flickered from mine,

That moment was still ringing,
Deep through my mind as I searched,
Curious, wondrous, unfulfilling,
I found myself, in a void, merged, 

As wide as the oceans was my, 
Mind that was so hard to grasp, 
As broad as the rivers was my, 
Heart that jumped from my grasp, 

But then, there was a sudden pang of hunger, 
As I woke up for breakfast, from my slumber.

I rather liked this poem! It was sort of strange: staring at the sky and meeting someones eyes there, etc. That made the beginning really feel like a dream though. I felt some of the commas were unnecessary and actually made this hard to read. For example:

As wide as the oceans was my, 
Mind that was so hard to grasp, 

Would this not be easier read as:

As wide as the oceans was my 
Mind that was so hard to grasp, 

The comma here, for me, added a long pause that made it seem like the first line was describing something else. If it was supposed to describe the void (which does make sense), the punctuation still made it confusing. It is separated into a different stanza right in the middle of the thought in that case. It also continued to talk about the mind with no clear indication that it was the end of the description of the void.

Either way I think with some minor tweaks it can be a really descriptive poem that make sthe reader feel like they are waking from a dream!

Cool! thanks for going through it. I always get kinda confused when punctuating poetry, at times it feels like its imperative to end each line with a comma and a stanza with a full stop. Other times, I feel like it detracts from the flow as you pointed out.

Each line implies a slight pause, and a stanza has a longer pause. That is not to say that a stanza is a period break and the end of a line is a comma, but if it helps you can think of it like that.

I am not sure how technically correct this is, but I feel like the punctuation in a poem should be more about the flow. In prose good punctuation makes a good flow too, if you read it out loud and the flow is off you know you have not punctuated correctly.

I would encourage you to read your poems out loud, pausing when called to do so, to see if you create the feeling you are going for. Poetry has punctuation, but it is more free to break from it for effect (in my opinion). If you feel that technically a comma should be used, but it does not create the flow you are looking for, you can omit it as a style choice.

Wow I feel like a nerd, but I have a secret loveof poetry lol.