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The Hunt

9 years ago

Just a story.  Way to short for Mizal's video game.

The Hunt

There is no game quite as thrilling as the hunt.  The white snow glistening from the pines, the brisk air flowing across the tips of your fingers and nose, the release of everything else, all stress and worries of the world gone.  Like any good game, there are a set of rules that can never be broken, and there is always a winner and a loser.  You have never lost the hunt and you don't intend to start losing today.

You begin the trek in search of your opponents.  You carefully examine the ground for any clues that they might have left for you.  There it is, an indent in the snow signifying that you're on the right track.  Now the fun part of the hunt really begins.  You race through the snowy pines, but carefully enough to not run into any of the traps that you have set.  This animal is more graceful than most, avoiding all of the wires and snares.  Then you see that your opponent has made a mortal mistake.  The tracks are more frantic, and crimson begins to blemish the otherwise pure trail.  

Now you must remain quiet, you move through the woods like a shadow.  The tracks are more frantic now and the snow is now more red than it is white.  Your prey is slowing down and you have the advantage.  From a distance, you get your first look at him.  He’s a fighter, struggling through the snow with a bear snare clamped around his left leg.  You feel a little bit of pity for him and his resilience, most would have given up by now, but it is quickly enveloped by the pure thrill of the hunt.  From a distance he see’s you, he struggles even harder, but it is to late, he has already lost.

“Please, I don’t know what you want.  Just let me go.  I have a family with two kids.  Have mercy.”  He cries.

He is trying to trick you.  He’s trying to make you lose.  You have never lost and don’t intend to start today.

The Hunt

9 years ago

Honestly, as soon as you said "opponents" I instantly knew the protagonist was hunting people.

The Hunt

9 years ago

That's pretty dark that you would automatically think of that.  

It's also pretty dark that I would write a short story about it

The Hunt

9 years ago

Well, you were being intentionally vague about the prey. That's the first conclusion someone would come to.

The Hunt

9 years ago

I agree, I could have worded it better. Thanks.

The Hunt

9 years ago

Yeah, it's written well, but it was obvious you were avoiding mention of what the prey was, and there'd only be one reason for that. 'The most dangerous game' has been a thing for awhile now so it's not a huge leap to make.  

I love flash fiction and this was good, but there's always a danger in stories that rely completely on a twist.

The Hunt

9 years ago
https://community.eveonline.com/backstory/chronicles/extinction-burst/

Example of the same twist done a bit of subtlety.