Player Comments on Dear Santa > ChooseYourStory.com

Do:
Delete the introduction (that was random);
Capitalize words correctly;
Break down large paragraphs;
Make some conflict;
Make choices logical (unless you had wanted to emphasis the humor of it);
Make it more humorous (because I didn't find it very funny)).

Good:
Background information;
Writing skills (very nice writing ability).

— Crescentstar on 12/11/2016 11:40:34 AM with a score of 0

What... what was day ending, do? Larb

— Tarbo134 on 7/13/2017 1:15:49 AM with a score of 0

Sorry. Not much to the story. It didn't grab my attention and take me away. When I read something, the best way to get a good rating from me is to take me to " Readerland", make me smile/laugh/cry. I was stuck in reality. Thank you for trying. :)

— Quorrah on 1/23/2017 2:40:49 PM with a score of 0

Yes! Loved it

— AlexTERRARIAN on 10/25/2016 3:40:01 PM with a score of 0

It could have been longer

— corgi213 on 11/7/2015 7:38:40 AM with a score of 0

Eh, this was wierd

— Warriorcatadventures on 9/8/2015 1:52:41 PM with a score of 0

Eh..Short, but okay. There's not enough ways to go yet.

— GiraffeDino on 7/11/2015 7:18:21 PM with a score of 0

To quote Chris and TheDickReviewer, at least it ain't warrior cats.

— PortalSpartan on 4/28/2015 7:22:03 PM with a score of 0

Choose your own BORDOM! I give this game a 1/8. Uhhh..... it's alright. I guess. I won Christmas, so it can't be THAT bad. It's pretty much impossible to loose.

— Pinkiepie4449 on 4/2/2015 10:42:45 AM with a score of 0

To quote Chris, at least it's not warriors.

— TheDickReviewer on 12/16/2014 7:06:59 PM with a score of 0

At least it's not Warriors.

— Chris113022 on 12/15/2014 4:51:32 PM with a score of 0

Uh....it's alright......I think. But play meh new story and the haters will like it (at least)

— WarriorCatsRPStories on 12/14/2014 3:16:47 PM with a score of 0

well it sucked but it wasn't warrior cats so good job

— dfyf on 12/14/2014 12:59:03 AM with a score of 0

Ahh.

— WarriorCats on 12/13/2014 10:58:40 PM with a score of 0

Best game on the site we've had in a long ass time, and it's still shit. Huffnuffjigglypuff.

— Slasher on 12/13/2014 9:40:34 PM with a score of 0

It was ok, I didn't really get it but it was a cool Christmas story :)

— Will11 on 12/12/2014 2:28:00 AM with a score of 0

4/8 just for not being WC.

— Malkalack on 12/11/2014 11:06:08 PM with a score of 0

I knew I shouldn't have left Oscar crying in the crib, but THAT MANY sweet potatoes coursing through his intestinal tract had me scared! Not changing THAT diaper was totally worth getting skipped by Santa!

Nicely done!

— Screens on 12/11/2014 10:51:30 PM with a score of 0

I...just...what...how...why?

— jamescoker1226 on 12/11/2014 10:39:47 PM with a score of 0

Mine was an epic fail. However, I have never laughed so hard. I bow down to you again, Leaf, Queen of Creativity. Time to try again. I might have to sacrifice Oscar crying, but Dominic is still going to have to open his own door.

Hilarious!!!