Player Comments on Little Mage's Potion Shop

Spoiler-free review

I don’t think I’ve ever before encountered a game that does everything right and wrong at the same time. Every time I find something to complain about it’s immediately followed by something I want to praise, and then there’s another minor issue with some more cool bits right next to it. In that regard Little Mage’s Potion Shop is a very unique experience, but whether the good outweighs the bad will vary greatly depending on the reader.

The game has us assume the role of Lise, an apprentice mage stuck running a potion shop at a small colony after her mentor inexplicably leaves soon after the two of them arrive. It’s an interesting premise that can be used to set up many different kinds of stories, and this aspect is used to its fullest as we explore the world through multiple independent side arcs we get to tackle at our own pace, and on their own they’re quite well written small adventures that help expand the world.

As a whole however this creates a slightly disjointed overall story that struggles to decide on a tone as it jerks the reader between cozy slice-of-life and much darker, almost macabre at times drama. Despite this problem with tonal cohesion we get a decent amount of consistency in terms of consequences for our choices, with aspects of certain branches changing based on how we approached previous problems presented to us.

These delayed consequences work well to balance out the otherwise small amount of agency we get throughout the story, and considering the noteworthy word count, choices really do feel few and far between once we leave the hub area to read one of the multiple side arcs available. Those arcs are mostly linear stories with a few false choices, but also mini endings of their own, letting them feel at least somewhat satisfying as side quests. Unfortunately a significant chunk of them is mostly dry narration that breezes through the plot while getting hanged up on expositing background information that drags the pace down.

What helps the game however, especially during those lulls are the characters, who do a good job distinguishing themselves from the crowd. There’s a few standouts that owe their status mostly to the extra screen-time they receive, as well as a few that don't quite live up to their role in the story due to being sidelined for most of the first few chapters. This does impact the apparent weight of our choices in the final act. Thankfully this problem doesn’t extend to the protagonist as Lise remains the highlight throughout this storygame. She’s pretty well fleshed out and likeable with a set of her own quirks that make her feel the fullest in terms of development, even if which parts of that development the reader experiences first can vary based on how they tackle the story, which can be a bit of a double edged sword.

Overall Little Mage’s Potion Shop is a storygame I really wanted to like and recommend, and while I do think it was a good read I don’t think I’ll be able to blindly recommend it to anyone, but if you’re interested in a game set in a unique fantasy world that offers you a bit of everything in terms of tone and don’t mind stories that are slightly heavier on narration you’re sure to find something to like about it.

Final score: 5/8

I was interested in reading this when I sat down. I soon lost interest, but decided to read it through. Let's start on a positive note. Cute idea, fun character, charming art. Your editing is pretty solid. It's clear to me that you put a decent amount of thought into your work. I like to give stories a fair Shake before I rate them, this story did deserve that.

My problem is that the events of the story just seem to happen, and often most of the page space is spent slowly fledging out a magic system that remains vague on impactful details. You do the right thing at times, letting the reader work out the little details of how magic works in the world by observation, but more and more the world is dictated to us. Worse, it is rarely pertinent information for decision making.

This CYOA plays out episodically. I don't think that works in this case. Maybe I missed some story beats wandering around the shop. The odds and ends of each day always seem to add to nothing in the final sum. It feels like characters and story details blink in and out inconsequentially. Perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps I missed something, but that was my experience.

There are some charming details and it's clear to me when you were enjoying what you were writing. At least, I think it is. The art you added was definitely a great touch.

As someone who isn't much a fan of "game-y" storygames, especially hub-centric ones, I find myself pleasantly surprised with the way it's handled here. It took a bit to understand at first, the long text intro transitioning into map exploration, but once I familiarized myself with the setting I found that it was handled with a measured approach.

Nothing feels out of place or added just for the sake of another link. And there's plenty of them, links, all with some sort of purpose behind them. As each day passed leading to the branching portions of the story, the environment itself became recognizable, like it was my own house I was searching through.

I will say that second person past tense, while not distracting from the story at all, is by far the minority around this site. Also, as far as this critique section goes, I was a bit turned off by the long title and lack of capitalization. The description is capitalized though, which seems to draw attention to it even more.

But the writing is well done. It's easy to tell Darius knows his way around narrative and character voice. I certainly would be interested in reading another story in the future. Like starting any new novel or tv show or video game, it takes some getting used to in the beginning. For all you readers out there, take your time, sit back and enjoy the wonderful creation of Darius_Conwright.

Wow, that was good.

Almost so that I'm left a bit envious. Not only are able to weave together interesting stories, but your art isn't shabby as well? One should pick only one talent, and then leave the rest for the rest of us, hmmm?

Joking aside, I really enjoyed how there's an episodic nature to this story-game. It leaves itself open for the writer if they want to add even more interactions and branchings for any future 'expansions' to say the least. For something that the writer (at least at the time of this writing) deems as rough and unpolished, it certainly doesn't feel that way. I've enjoyed.

I suppose because this is a bit anime-esque? At least in terms of the art. Being an anime fan, I've grown a tolerance for "she's really one-thousand years old!" lolita characters. For this story's part, it tackles serious themes on loyalty, xenophobia, and even a bit of witch-hunting. All beneath the surface of a mage girl running her shop.

For me, there were times in which I clicked around a bit aimlessly to hopefully advance something, but it wasn't an ordeal like other stories, taking plenty of minutes. No, it wasn't a chore because there would be an interaction sprinkled in there, or a page that gave more insight on the protagonist character as a person. Sometimes even lore that's pretty important. My suggestion would be to make things like that something that the player/reader couldn’t miss? I say this, because I didn't receive that particular branch that let known the character's origin in a subsequent playthrough.

At the time of this writing, I've received three of the side endings, and I would say, only one of the main endings? So while with some stories, the endings are choices that are tacked on at the end, there's some perhaps hidden steps and choices for one to take to reach a personal achievement of seeing all that there is to offer? Well, the story is good enough to engage in that endeavor.

This is possibly my favorite entry of the contest at this moment. It's really hard to say, but I liked the overall tone and mood of Little mage's potion shop.

It is really Majo no Tabitabi-ish. But without the protagonist saying how beautiful she is at the start of the story, and at times saying 'nooooope". and leaving a situation before it gets too ugly and gives her a headache if she decides to invest anything in it. However, unlike Elaina, the wandering witch, the witch in this story seems to me to be a bit more proactive of the things that are occurring around her.

Although the character is a powerful witch, she isn't some all powerful omniscient god, and her choices can have consequences if she makes the wrong one. Was that something that you wanted to shine through here, Darius?

In any case, great story! I wouldn’t mind seeing this become a series of games all set in the same world. I feel that the world told in this is one that can easily be expanded upon. Lise doesn't even have to be the main character, especially since her arcs I feel are concluded satisfyingly enough. Although, given that she's part of a long-aged race.

She could also be like Frieren in Sousou no Frieren. Going through many years, traveling through the land, visiting many villages, and then returning to those villages to see those that were in their teens, are now seniors. As well as those that were children, now being middle-aged.

So there can be even more story that can be taken with our protagonist. Unless her life span is much shorter than I think, and I'm a bit mistaken to be on this train of thought.

Well, this is becoming a anime/manga recommendation at this rate. But I hope that shows how much this story-game reminded me of some rather great series of things I've experienced.

On that note, once again, this was a good story-game, Darius.

I went through all the arcs, and it seems as though this story does not have an ending. However, the plot was amazing and this story is well-made.

An well thought out and in depth story, this is an interesting read.There are many odd sentence structures and weird word choices as well as a scattering of SPAG issues, and one place where Pilwick was referred to as Headwick, but I believe most of these are due to the author's use of english as a second language.

The characters, particularly Lisle and Doro, are we thought out and characterized, and the custom art was a very cool inclusion. Some of the pathing is inconsistent as my ending kept referencing having spent time with Thomas when I really had not through the majority of the story, certainly not enough to have considered him a "friend".

The word count on this is impressive, although the many pages of loooooong text could probably have been broken up a little better to make them feel a little more punchy or to emphasize certain actions or thoughts. Overall I liked the story and would recommend it to others.

This story was incredibly cute and overall really well written, and genuinely made me cry at some points (or gag-)
The storyline was a little bit confusing but still enjoyable!

A well-done short story. I was expecting a lighthearted tale about running a potion shop, but it turns surprisingly dark as the character is roped into the surrounding conflict. Each scenario added another perspective for you to consider when making the final decision. There were a few parts where I wasn't entirely sure what was going on, because the character was incapacitated in some way and the description turned vague. My favorite character was Mr. Pilwick, I found myself replaying just to figure out what his deal was.

I know it would have been much, but I wish we could have had Mallard and Doro both come instead of just one.