Lunar Chronicles

Well, its a nice start I guess. The grammar(as far as I can tell) is good. Then again, the sentences are so short it doesn't really leave room for errors.
I didn't like how you only had two choices for it or at least that was how it was in the person I played, and how short and undescriptive it was overall.
Playing this wasn't really fun or entertaining at all!
You need to add details and elaborate on stuff. You can't just repeat the story...you need to add your own details or what is the point of this all?
That's just what I think, and I'm not exactly a master critiquer x3

I had one choice then it ruined the polt and it ended

Oh, also you need more than one sentence per page and less End Game options :)

Apparently I ruined the plot of the book so I'm sorry about that :D Perhaps if you had explained more clearly what was happening and created your own fan fiction rather than piggy-backing on an existing creation it would be more interesting but perhaps fans of the Lunar Chronicles will really enjoy this, though as this seems a bit brief why would people read this when they could just read the original books?

This needs a great deal of work but you clearly really enjoy whatever this is based on but you need to re-adapt it and form your own story, even if you still use the existing characters, otherwise it's just a shorter copy of the original series :)

At best, this game is a 3/8.
Punctuation was missing at times, quite short, and didn't have many choices.

At the first page, you could choose your character. Good idea. Would've been 100 times better if you detailed and personalised these characters. Maybe told us who they were?

Why did we want to overthrow the queen in Winter's story? Was it because she was a mean old woman? Or were we just hungry for power?

So, I would say it wasn't too bad.