Player Comments on The Secret of the Mysterious Door

The storygame is riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes, so I will say this yet again: proofread your work. It may be a tedious and seemingly useless task, but it will so helpful once you finish the storygame and publish it. I'd say you should go through this and tweak some things, along with the spelling/grammar.

The writing is choppy and simple. It's not interesting or structured, and really needs to be redone. This whole story needs to be redone, honestly. The idea was fine, it just wasn't used wisely and with the best of attention and skill.

The plot line was excellent, and I was very entertained as the story progressed. You did a very nice job with keeping a nice pace and didn't end the storygame too quickly or obviously. I'm very satisified with trending I go, so that's great.

Just never forget to listen to the advice people give you and proofread your work! ^~^

4/8

Very, very random. It was extremely linear at multiple points and I barely understood what was happening at some points because the situations made little to no sense. For example...

"Suddenly, the floor beneath your feet vanishes and you fall into a bottomless hole."

Ok. So, for no logical reason, the floor just vanishes and I die? Ok then.

But I guess I did like the plot. It's very interesting to see someone make a school based story with a mystery aspect.

The setting was a bit dull and not very well fleshed out, but hey, it's better then some stories on here.

Character development wasn't exactly 10/10, but it was definitely there, little or not.

3/8.

A pretty decent storygame. ^_^

Yes, it was somewhat random as far as the 'mystery' and adventure goes in this, but this wasn't a bad story by any means. The writing is good, though sometimes I couldn't help but feel that it lacked imagination or detail for when such things were crucial. I must say that this seems like a storygame that would've benefited greatly from the use of the advanced editor, because it automatically assumes the player to have items that they wouldn't have obtained unless going through certain scenarios. That's an issue, because it somewhat makes this storygame feel a bit disconnected in its presentation unfortunately.

Also, there are deaths in this game that seem to come at the player at random and there's not much here in terms of characterization. For the most part though, this does remain a pretty decently made story. Minor issues with grammar aside and such.

If anything, despite some flaws this was quite enjoyable and I look forward to reading more from this writer.

Very nice.

nice :)

It’s not a proper plot

Thanks for a clean story that I can share with my classroom

this game is fun, it's full of adventure and it's just so fun to play

it was okay

The story was a bit confusing and there was a glitch of me being able to use a light I never had. But, I thought it was a fun story. One tip for future stories would be to put a little more work into background characters.

I can't understand how I got the school items before going to school. \_('_')_/

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Really cool short story. I really enjoyed the trasure and saving the girl. Thanks so much for writing this story!!

You guys should open up a company for toilets so you can throw your stories in them. Or you could also burn your stories and burn your knowledge about them too because you obviously don't know what you are doing. Jeez and why is the text so long and tiny it takes forever for people to read it, make it shorter before you throw it into the toilet or eat it and poop it out so the story gets what it deserves

Great Job

A short and simple game. Just grab the treasure and run, and the plus side is a day off! ;)

at the part where I broke down the wall I didn't see any math symbols to know if I was adding subtracting or dividing so I had to just guess what was the correct door

Well. 4/8, better than most games, and there's definitely a clear story and all. I feel down a hole...

Nice plot :))
It'll be nice if you make it longer and more riddle :))

This is a really nice storygame, but I think you should have used the advanced editor for the items since you could cheat by picking the right link even though you haven't got that item yet in the story; It's also really cool since you get certain objects/info from your classes that will help you later.
The 'wake up' or 'sleep some more' options are a little cliche tho.
P.S. I ditched the girl for the treasure. I'm heartless :P

it could use more detail did i win or did i lose

Really good! I hope your game becomes more popular but I will probably replay it to see other options!

This was a fun little game, I actually think i chose the best options. I think you could apply this into more games so good luck to you.

Could be a little more worked into.

its pretty good story though most of the skills you get in school not would usefull but overall fun and i loved it. To bad you could not get the monster as a pet but overall great i love money

Meh, okay. I do like that you can choose between going to school and exploring the door, and that going to school helps you with the door. So overall, okay.

Nice Job. I stayed in the school until the very end. XD

Hard

other option is better

i was so into the book I could not stop reading

Great book

Well written and interesting, I enjoyed this story-game a lot :) I just wish there weren't sudden death endings and that it was longer!

it was pretty good and I like the way that you could chose what too do with the next events

it was cool

Actually, I don't think you could fall so fast the flesh was torn from your bones. You'd reach terminal velocity at only about 122 mph, which is only slightly higher than the average dive speed of a peregrine falcon.

The abbreviated style works well in the description, but I agree with Kiel. This story would have been even better if you'd gone into more detail- not just about the death scenes, but in general.

A decent well written story. Well done.

I just got a bad ending on the story. The story was ok, little character development if any, some grammatical errors, but a fun story. The biggest thing that bothered me is the bad ending gave a spolier alert which is going to ruin replay some.

Nice! I enjoyed it. Much longer than some other stories and it kept me interested the whole way through. 6/8

Confusing... I liked the school-part but the door bit was pretty boring.

4/8.

Amazing!!!!!! I love the story, I saved the girl and was a hero!

I love your logic on the bottomless hole, Simno. If you -hadn't- abbreviated, I probably would've appreciated the story more. xD It sounds like you have great ideas here, you just don't elaborate enough.

Falling, you reach a speed that tears the flesh from your bones. You starve, because you keep falling. You reach the centre of the planet and simply melt. I wanted to abbreviate it, so you just die.
But good point ;)

If the hole is bottomless, why do you die?