Player Comments on A Night in Heck

This was a pretty entertaining story to read. It had a fairly slow beginning, and I would have liked to learn more about the player character and Sal, as even by the end, I didn't know much about either of them.

The whole spending the night in a haunted house is a pretty well-used trope, but sometimes cliches can work really well. I liked being able to collect multiple different items, and it was good that all of them did have a use in the storygame. I have to say, though, that the blanket and the rocks were both things that caused a lot of confusion about just where I could use them. The rocks, I clicked use item multiple times before finally finding where I could use them - in the basement. Which, in the dark, was pretty creepy, even without whatever it was that was screaaming.

I played through the storygame enough times to reach most, if not all, of the possible endings. I thought that, after exploring the basement, I understood how it worked, and that using the light meant nothing bad would happen. Then I made the choice to hide in the living room and...well, that was a pretty creepy moment too.

I did notice there was an ending page that didn't have any choices leading from it, even 'end game and leave comment'. I tried to use each of the items, in case there was a 'trick' there, but after none of them worked, I had to assume that it was just a dead end...which is a shame.

I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't explore the upstairs of the house. It would have been nice to see if the upstairs was as haunted as the downstairs, or if there was a way to prevent anything truly bad from happening in a similar way to downstairs or the basement.

By the end of the storygame, I was quite suspicious of Jonas. I know that he spent the night in the haunted house, but why wouldn't he take the 'greatest treasure' from the basement for himself? I had to wonder if there was more to his involvement than met the eye, and I would have liked to see his reaction to the protagonist and Sal lasting the entire night in the house.

All in all, I found this storygame quite entertaining and easy to read. The pictures all fit really well and helped to add to the atmosphere of the storygame. I would have liked it to be a bit longer and have more details about the protagonist and his friend, though. And there were some typos I noticed, although not so many as to pull me out of the story. Definitely a great way for me to spend a couple of hours!

The old 'spend the night in a haunted house' plot is such a well worn cliche it takes a lot of skill to make it interesting. The writing in this one was pretty decent overall, but there were a few typos, and more could've been done in the beginning to catch the reader's attention or make them care about these kids in the first place.

There were a couple of genuinely creepy moments, but the haunted house itself (or maybe it's just the paths I took) didn't quite live up to its reputation. Both times the kids encountered something with the potential to be dangerous they simply ran away and the game ended with them safely outside. Also, I gathered the house was actually being lived in and we stole someone's priceless baseball card, but there was no follow up to that other that 'woo, we're rich now!'

There was a nice use of pictures throughout, though some seemed out of place. I would've stuck with one style, such as the real photos.

All the items had logical uses, though I'm not sure what the pebbles were supposed to do...they were usable, but didn't exactly help much in the basement. (Though admittedly it was kind of a subversion of expectations when they at first SEEMED to, and it led to one of the creepier moments...)

Overall I enjoyed this, and I hope you keep writing.

ITS SHORT BUT COOL ON THE HAUNTED HOUSE

It wasnt really that difficult

tf was the ending

I decided to make to smart decision and say no to going into the haunted house I believe I won this one.👏

It's certainly a good story, just not my style. The story moved way too fast for my taste. I like stories that slowly build up the action. But again, good stories overall.

Call me CinemaSins, but I saw some things wrong with this story. The whole time, I was waiting for Ronnie to pull out the lighter he got. He never even used the darn thing! It just sat in his backpack, doing nothing. Just about any person shut in a dark, creepy mansion at night who brought a lighter would use it. Even if he didn't find a candle to light, he could've just used the lighter as a temporary candle until he found one.

Again, amazing story. Just not my style.

it was kind of bland, not really any horror from any endings i got. I still enjoyed it..

I would be freaked out if I was in the mansion. I'm just glad I survived

You got a meh on the nomnom scale! I liked how you needed to use the items, but why was the house brand new? I felt like you were just breaking in someone's house during their vacation. What were those rocks for? Is it just me or does Jonas seem strange possibly evil? Anyways good job!

A 4 only bc it was too short.

fun but wasn’t very difficult

wait whyd Jonas give me rocks tho? what did he know??????

This is quite a confusing story.

It's a good game if you know how to play your cards right.

Effing great. The fact that you have to use items to survive is amazing

good! i liked the cake ending, but couldn't find the grisly one mentioned in the comments. still enjoyed it though!

Not bad. Kinda fun :)

I think I got all the endings... If I didn't I'm too lazy to find the rest. I liked the cake one, pretty funny xD But overall very well thought out and relatively good writing, however one ending where... Agh I don't remember but I meet that figure thing and all of the stuff I have (flashlight etc) can't be used and there's no end game or anything. So yeah.

*table flip* (7/8)

This was pretty fun. There was some interesting writing and a lot of options, and that's all you can really ask for.

LOL, Will I got that ending too, I'd forgotten to comment on it. I consider that the canon ending, seeing how Sal was kind of a dick who got his own self into that. I was just disappointed there was no epilogue about his grisly remains being discovered the next day.

Haha I won with the simple decision not to go in the house, it shouldn't be that easy :D The writing was ok and the pictures added to the story so that was good :)

A lot of the grammar and writing could have been better, but overall, it was a nice, easy story. It wasn't linear and it also wasn't boring, as well. You used descriptions to your advantage, though I would have liked to see more physical descriptions of the characters and a little more about the house.