Player Comments on A Spy's Mission
This story started out nice, but I really felt kind of like a wimp, refusing the mission. And the first page really gave me a lot of hints that I shouldn’t accept the mission. So when I did refuse, I was kind of disappointed that the game ended so quickly. This theme appeared to continue throughout the story. For example, when I refused the maid outfit because it was silly, I was told I had to wear it, but then when I did, the text indicated that I really should not have taken that option…so then I put on the guard uniform that I tried to use in the first place, but wasn’t allowed to. Do I really have any choices in this story? I ask that because as a CYOA story, one of the key aspects for the reader is that the reader should at least feel like they have some control over the story, the action, or the results of the story. As I read through this one, I don’t feel that way at all.
The mission and the pacing of the story are a bit off, too. I start this mission and head inside. Then, while hiding inside for an entire week, I follow a sentry around. Next I tie him up and throw him a room, but then tell everyone I’m taking him to the infirmary. I get an ID badge in a few hours, but then apparently patrol for another week and no one missed the guy I tied up, who now may be dead from dehydration or something.
The writing is good here, but there are gaps in the storyline and there really aren’t any choices. I think this has a lot of potential and could be re-written with more details, more options, and a little more clear storyline to make a really good CYOA story. Thank you for sharing it with the site.
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Ogre11
on 7/11/2018 12:45:11 PM with a score of 0
I desperately wanted to rate this well because I believe that the author's writing ability is good. This storygame should by all rights be the definition of a 5/8; a good storygame. The author has tied my hands though, because this story is unabashedly, obviously linear. There are no paths and every choice is either death or continuation. When an author writes like that, they show disdain for the genre.
In addition to making this story non-linear, the author should focus on immersion and context. There's no context to why the protagonist is motivated to do what they're doing. Why should we care about this organization or the thumb drive?
The author should then, write a branching story with an actual plot, because they have the ability to write well.
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JJJ-thebanisher
on 3/23/2014 9:23:43 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good but too much writing. Didn't feel the vibe of it that much when I could've. It didn't feel really majestic and magical like I anticipated. However, there is potential for this story. Cheers
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— Banjot on 11/27/2023 6:15:27 PM with a score of 0
Good stuff, lots of options to choose from.
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— Daniel on 3/11/2023 3:12:24 PM with a score of 0
Amazing! Great writing, doesn't drag on, great plot. Only what evidence did the thumb-drive have on it?
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MysteriousRedCat
on 9/21/2021 5:23:34 AM with a score of 0
I loved it. Its so real
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— Willy on 5/24/2019 6:09:28 AM with a score of 0
I can't actually play the game. Every time I open it, the game puts me in the same spot in the story every time. I'm fairly certain it's not the beginning because it leads to the same ending every time; death, so I've obviously missed something. Hope that this is fixed soon so I can actually play the game
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— Szy on 10/31/2018 2:11:24 PM with a score of 0
One of Many really good spy games! albiet, it was short, it was still a fun and enjoyable experience. would love to see more!
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ZeroOriginsX
on 2/13/2018 3:45:51 PM with a score of 0
Short but very well-written and engaging. There's a decent amount of endings, even if there's one of them right on the first click, but it also does feel very linear. There's only one "good" ending, so to speak.
And who's Mr Bond? James Bond?
There is one inconsistency that may annoy readers: at one point in the story, you can choose to hide the prisoner or leave him. If you hide him, you end up failing the mission. If you leave him, and then choose the wrong choice...you fail the mission, and the game criticises you for not hiding him.
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Saika
on 9/20/2017 5:53:11 AM with a score of 0
It was short but it was pretty good.
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CeruleanFlare
on 12/14/2016 10:12:54 AM with a score of 0
Somewhat confusing and non-descriptive.
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TheMonitor
on 9/23/2015 7:01:43 PM with a score of 0
Fun and well written. An entertaining 5 mins reading. A little bit linear at times, but a decent effort.
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— Jordi P on 7/28/2015 12:57:29 PM with a score of 0
Every choice lead to continual or death
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AthenaT
on 4/22/2015 11:03:57 AM with a score of 0
WHY!!!! WHY DID IT END LIKE THIS!! I WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING! HE WAS KNOCKED OUT!! HOW COULD IT BE WRONG TO HIDE HIM???
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— A person on 2/21/2015 6:19:03 PM with a score of 0
Good but no aftermath.
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— Dominator64z on 12/4/2014 1:44:14 PM with a score of 0
I liked that it was very well written, and that you had james bond in it, but wow, it was hard.
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Legendx
on 11/11/2014 8:20:48 PM with a score of 0
very descriptive good job
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— someone on 3/26/2014 5:50:16 PM with a score of 0
A little short but fairly well written and nice to see a female protagonist.
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FeanorOnForge
on 3/20/2014 6:07:47 PM with a score of 0
This was a fun story. I really liked the James Bond references and the mission had plenty of dead ends to get to before beating the story game. Also very well written. Good job!
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AppDude27
on 3/2/2014 3:07:46 AM with a score of 0
Loved it!
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dischead
on 1/29/2014 9:27:02 PM with a score of 0
Wonderful!
I'm an old man.
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OldManWillakers
on 12/5/2013 8:47:45 PM with a score of 0
Worth my time!
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— Blah on 10/29/2013 4:05:43 PM with a score of 0
Great game!
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StrangeLittleKitty
on 10/11/2013 4:36:35 PM with a score of 0
Great game! You have really done a good job. It was well written and deserves a good rating.
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harrypotter
on 10/4/2013 7:17:33 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good first try
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hugo23
on 10/3/2013 5:50:51 PM with a score of 0
Good for a first story.
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Tanstaafl
on 10/2/2013 6:45:40 PM with a score of 0
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