Alone in the Forest

As soon as I read the first page I thought I wouldn't enjoy this. The wording of it just felt strange and choppy, and the plot was introduced rather sloppily.

However, as I started reading, I began to enjoy myself. I'll admit that the writing didn't hit me as an 8/8 masterpiece, but this had a certain charm to it that kept me entertained :)

I liked the animal perspective thing, especially as being a mouse. It really gives an interesting point of view because of many things about mice, such as being small.

I feel like you tried to add emotion (such as feeling lonely), but despite that, it wasn't fleshed out very well. Detail and character development are like the cupcake, and the emotion is the frosting. You can't exactly expect readers to feel emotion for a character they know hardly anything about other then their species.

There wasn't a lot of branching, but there was a little I suppose.

Overall, enjoyable in my opinion but needs some work :D

3/8.

I guess this is an alright kids' game, but not much so interactive fiction. You have shown you can write fairly decently and understand that interactive fiction requires choices, but specifically the choices need to be fleshed out moreso. The game needs to be less linear and open to more branches with varying plotlines. For example, only the 'retire as a hermit' and the snake paths were varied in the slightest bit. This needs to be less linear and the story should be worked upon.

I also feel like the world we are in needs to be expanded upon. Where are we exactly -- a forest? A jungle? But then why/where are the/re elephants? And there's only so limited places where monkeys can live in the wild. Point is, you need to be more descriptive in the scenery and setting departments. This isn't a bad game, just needs more work.

I hate snakes >:(

Kiki in kaka in kiki kaka land

i didnt even understanded it was lame idek what to do.

It's a very interesting and surprising

it was okay

this was cute!

This was a really fun story. When I saw the length, I thought it was going to be the usual couple of lines of facts and a couple choices, mostly leading to end games. However, that was clearly not the case with this story! While there might have been more details and descriptions in many places, this still was a very nice and complete story. There are plenty of options and directions that you can go, so you can play over and over again without getting the same options or endings (though yes, some paths are shorter than others). This is amazing for a story of this length (other authors, take note).

I found a number of different endings, and they were all quite interesting and fun. The writing is good and I quite enjoyed this story. I would love to read more from this author, especially if they were able to continue along in this vein with a bit of a longer story. Thank you for sharing the story with the site!

Nicely done!