Player Comments on An Entire Day

This storygame is puzzling. The almost grammatically perfect English and the occasional wit belies an intelligent author, but this game is so short and has so few words that it's difficult to judge. It feels like it was either an experiment or the creator was just really really lazy.

Never have I seen a storygame with so many choices that turn out to be completely inconsequential to the rest of the gameplay and plot. This would be an impressive example of branching if there was a substantial amount of writing and the links would actually affect the story at all. As it is, it almost feels like a quiz, albeit with no answers at the end. The game doesn't even acknowledge your choice on the next page. There's almost no replay value.

It's refreshing to see a storygame with almost zero errors in writing, but that really isn't saying much given how sparse the writing is. This comment likely has a higher word count than your entire storygame. Just adding more detail, some sense of a plot and some characters could have really livened up this story and made it interesting. It really feels bland and that you've just written the bare minimum.

When I saw the choice on the first page where I had to choose a day of the week, I laughed. I don't know if this was your intended effect. Your comment when I chose Monday made me smile too. It's pretty impressive of you to amuse me like that given how little content there is here, so well done for that at least.

I think this storygame, whilst it's severely lacking, does show that you have potential to write something better. Use your sense of humour a bit more and put those writing skills (I can kind of sense them) to use.

...what was the point? O.o

This seems like a test story as there is no purpose or ending.

The game was rather... pointless. Choosing your weekday had no effect on the game; for choices were always exactly the same. Other choices simply had no effect on the game. Sure it's nice to choose between sweat pants and fancy clothes, but what's the point if it doesn't even matter?

Guess it was okay...but none of the choices mattered and ended up with the exact same result every time I played.

The choices didn't matter in the game. :c Maybe if there where more details in the story...

Your choices don't matter in this game. This could be better if you put more detail in, such as the teachers, your friends, the stank of the cafeteria, etc. It's a very bland game, like a bran muffin. I WANT A CHOCO CHIP MUFFIN!

It was meh... I didn't feel like my choices did anything. If you had actually worked on this it could have been better, but alas it isn't.

The choices don't influence the story you know

Meh...

More fascinating than the Minecraft void! (That's a start...)

I play CYOAs to escape my life.

Boring.

Well, it's... not horrible, but it's not that interesting either. =S Sorry, it has the potential to be a lot of fun, I think, you just didn't make it there.

simple and fun!

(Apparently, today's my critique binge, anyways...) The plot points have little to do with each other and are rarely connected. More detail would be very nice. Think of it like a sandwich. Do you want two pieces of bread, or ham and pastrami and colby jack in between the two pieces? Add drama and humor! It will help make your stories better, I promise.

... Point? Plot? Intrigues, comedic relief? All is good to have in a story.

Pointless. No plot. Very boring. You should try to come up with a plot and try harder.

none of the choices seem to have a real impact on the story.

Boring, not much effort put in for this one

It makes no sense at all.

the day choice didnt even matter