Player Comments on Any reasone?

First of all, grammar. Second of all, more explanation as to the murder of your parents or the rape scene. I get that your brother knocked you up, but why does your sister not do anything about the murder? It is a really good plot and I feel that if you worked on it you could really have something. Also, please correct the title. I do believe you are onto something, so I gave you a 6/8. Do some serious touchups, though. Okay? Thank you for considering my comments.

Dark stories like this can be really good when written well, but this story really needs more explanation of the situation you're in and how you got there. For instance, if your brother murdered your parents, why aren't the police involved? Especially if your sister knows he did it. Also there were a lot of spelling mistakes, which is why it's always important to proofread your stories before you publish them.

Yeah so this sucks

This was a great fap 10/10

interesting.

Are there more than two endings?

Short but dark as heck! The typos were aggravating and I'd like to have been able to delve more into the back story and find out more.

Twisted...
Just Twisted...

Foremost are the grammar and spelling issues. These are easily fixed. The subject matter is pretty intense and provocative, but does need more depth. Kudos for having the spunk to address such a dark subject.

I think the person who wrote this is mentally ill.

Use a spell checker for your incest rape stories please.

I had a difficult time really enjoying the story. Usually I can look past grammar as long as it is sparse, but this was littered with it like kitty litter.
If writing is your passion then please continue to pursue it! Maybe just ask a friend of a stranger to edit it. :)

Greatest game ever...

Pretty dark, yes. Works for what it is, but it really needed more choices. There's not a whole lot to rate here.

But the main issue is the number of punctuation issues. I don't think this was proofread at all. Even the title has a typo, FFS.

I close my ears?

It was ok I guess... 3/8.

I hope you will continue!

Well the short story reminded me of an episode of investigation discovery, one of those storied of a meth junkie snapping after staying up for two weeks on a binge.

I wishes it was longer. This story has SO MUCH potential and you should tap into that potential as well as the dark portions of your mind.
Cool story!
P.S the word reason in the title has an un-needed e at the end.

This story was pretty hilarious. Great punchline with the whole brother-sister thing. Slightly disappointed it didn't escalate into a threesome with the three siblings, you could have even had the threesome after the sister was dead. It wasn't terrible though and I was entertained, so well done.

This isn't bad. The spelling needs a lot of attention and you probably need to set the scene more in the openning pages. This has the basis of a good story but needs editing to fulfill the potential displayed.

I personally liked the general plot but your story really could use some thorough editing.

... What the fuck?

What on God's Earth did I just read?

Ah, a realistic horror story. Good job.

In one word I can sum up this story:

You're*

I'm not sorry.

You did do a good job for a first published story.

This is just...creepy. It is more so because I never clearly understood what it was about.

i thought that this story was morbid and F***ed up not to mention i could not comprehend how someone could write something like this. the male character is a diabolical sob , and if your woman i can't imagine why a woman would want to write about a subject like rape isn't that a woman's worst fear. and if your a man i can't understand why a man would write something that is obviously offensive. these are the reasons that i ranked your story so low.

because your story is just wrong in every sense of the word.In fact i would not be surprised if a woman reading this considered your an out right misogynist for writing about a male doing such evil things like repeated rape to a woman.

if your a woman why did you write about something this wrong. when saw what was happening i felt so angry and sick to my stomach. I'm hoping you'll eventually give an explanation for writing such an awful story.

Very short, not much branching, you need to learn the difference between your and you're

First of all... Your maturity should be a 6 or 7 if you say people below 18 may not be suitable to read it.

Story wasn't too bad, except for some grammatical errors. It's a little too short though