Player Comments on Battel Arena

This storygame was atrociously poorly written and was completely unpredictable. It is clear that the author possesses a good imagination but he would be wise to put a great deal more effort into future endeavors.

Spelling errors and the length is too short.

Dead ends and needs length. Along with spelling battle right (my OCD is screaming)

There are dead end links that need to be fixed. Unpublish and give this game more work.

I would suggest employing variables. You should unpublish and put some more work into this. Clean up your grammar, and give us more options, not necessarily cheesy moves like slash of eternity, but more believable battle field ideas, advance, ready shield, etc. That is my view on it at any rate.

Well, the premise is solid, if a little overdone, but the execution leaves much to be desired.
Besides the spelling mistake in the title, the actual work has a few, but I've seen worse, and it isn't a glaring problem. The real problem, unfortunately, was the gameplay and story.
First off story. It doesn't need to be a huge epic tale of heartbreak and fantasy, but there needs to be some. Why am I at the arena? What is the arena like? Are there any people around other than the crowd and my opponent? If there is, what are they doing? Why are they there? The list goes on.
Then there is gameplay. A game like this really needs to be on advanced editor. You need to have variables and scripting that randomises if attacks work or not, maybe some health, mana for the wizards and energy for the others, equipment, a marketplace, leveling up, etc. also, maybe there should be more than one battle against different opponents that are good at different things.
All in all, it's not the worst game I've ever seen, far from itreally, but I will not remember it at the end of the day.

Why it was either win or die.

Why did you submit this?

Really bad, at first it seemed like you put in some effort. Your game had a good start, but a few pages in, it started looking like you got lazy. And the lack of Endgame links was frustrating.

This story needs a LOT of work. I would HIGHLY recommend pulling it and redoing it.

Besides the minor spelling and grammatical errors, the "battle" itself was poorly done.

Case in point:
Ranger (me) vs Mage
...Battle Start...
Mage is chanting for spell, I choose Vanish

Vanish = "Use you senses to predict the incoming attack and dodge out of the way before it hits you."

...Successful Action...
"you rushed up to him and delivered a series of close combat attacks. the mage got knocked down."

...Choose Time Paradox...
Time Paradox = Jumps forward with speed that is faster than light and use your dagger to quickly damage the opponent before they react.

...Successful Action on Downed Opponent at Close Range?...
NO.
At this point the story turns REAL sour. Given what has gone on in the arena so far, I'm already close to to mage. The mage has been knocked down and I would imagine is already injured. Using Time Paradox should be a killing blow, or at least something that injures him even more.

...INSTEAD...
It's a copy/pasted first move selection with two words added, "You died"

That should NOT have been done.

Again, I HIGHLY recommend you redo this.

I've seen some other games [on the site] similar to this... and saw nothing new.
In fact, I didn't see much of anything here!

i rated this so low because every dead end choice had no options not even an end comments button. Add links and end comment buttons and i will increase my rating