Player Comments on Benta Sinco

This story was severely lacking in the description department. The author gave absolutely no context for the story's events. What was my motivation? Who was I? I enjoyed the author's pictures and the actual writing mechanics were very simple, but not horrible.

While the lack of description was a crippling problem for this story, an even larger problem was the lack of branches. This was an incredibly linear story and that ruins a lot of the fun.

The pictures were fun and interesting. However, it was way too short and there's no proper ending. Before even thinking about branches in the story I think you might want to settle on a "main" ending before creating other side endings.

...too many ways to die-ie! 50/50 chance you'll die with every choice you make, not alot else to do with your choices...

The story itself, and the notion behind it was fine. I wish there was more description in the environments, and actual goals. Without that, or any backstory, you don't really feel a connection to the character, or a reason to keep them alive. Also, I couldn't find an actual ending. Maybe I just missed it, but all I found was a dead page. An actual ending would very much improve the game.

I like the story, but it was a little too short. There was some errors in the story. If I were the writer, I would describe how the wounds felt fighting the thief, how the reader would "feel" about sword fighting the thief.

It is WAY too short.

I have no background, and there is no successful ending. I even went back and tried everything, but if I run from the bandits, it doesn't have any links or anything.

Needs more choices, items and better endings.

Other than that, it was OK, I guess.

4/8

The game is incompleat and linar. Every action leads to a dead end link or end game.

I liked it at first, but then I got to a part where if I chased the bandit, I lost, and if I exited the town, the story randomly ends. It seems to have promise and quality, but it's just unfinished.

The game is too linear, and it doesn't really have a point.

Good for a first, liked the pictures but whenever you win you get no comments so you have have to lose in order to comment on this storygame.

Looks like a good start to a game but it is linear and completly unfinished with it ending on a page with no links meaning you have to go back and die to 'complete' it.

This would have been a good game, except that the only way there is to end the game is to die.

It's a good start, and could be turned into a goid game, but there are a couple of problems.
The first, and most annoying one, is that it's unfinished. Don't publish unfinished games on this site. If you want feedback on an unfinished game, enable sneak preview and send a link to someone you want to test it.
Secondly, all the information seemed hazy. Who am I? Why do I want riches? How do I plan to get them? Why am I in Lavender City? Is it my hometown? Am I just passing through? Etc.
So far, it's ok. If you finish it and answer some of those questions, then maybe I'd give it a higher score. I may even replay it a couple of times to see what other endings I get.

You have to lose

Unfinished.

Looks pretty good, but the Page where you have run out of the Bandit City on the Lake has no Links and you end there. Also, the Map seems like a waste of an Item. I'd be interested in this getting fixed though so I could continue and see if it deserves a higher rating :)