Player Comments on Choose Your Own Misadventure

This could have been a very fun story. Unfortunately, the structural issues were just a bit too much for me to really enjoy it.

The writing itself isn’t bad. It starts off with the classic stay in bed vs get out of bed, and while the story is pretty much mundane morning activities of a slob, it is narrated humorously enough to not be a drag.
I like this line in particular: “Overnight the beer monkey has sandpapered your mouth with crushed sloe berries.”
The text for the choice links were often pretty funny, and I thought some of the endings were amusing as well. I liked death by kebab especially.

It is cool to see the imitation of actual CYOA books in style. Next time using a font such as Times New Roman would probably help to really bring home that effect. Also, there is a lot of space in between lines, which makes the pages seem so empty and sparse, since the paragraphs are not long. I usually like to read stuff that is a bit spread out, but this was just too much sometimes, considering so little was on the pages to begin with.


Now for story structure, where my biggest complaints lie. I do not appreciate being required to choose a choice based off what I remember my previous choices. In fact, I am quite irritated by it. I shouldn’t have the other option if my previous actions lead to only one. Some coding or a bit less reliance on rejoining of branches would have fixed that problem, but as it was, it irritated me greatly.
There was also too much re-joining of branches for my taste. I would have preferred some of the effort put into making all the different meaningless choices to go into adding more actual branching.

There were some inconsistencies too. On one page it says that I smashed my phone, even though I had not done so, and somehow I greeted the landlord and peeps in only my underwear despite it being explicitly mentioned I had gotten dressed when I answered the door.

This would have been pretty amusing, were it not for the laziness on the part of the author when it came to choices, but I cannot recommend it as it is.

3/8
In my opinion, this game seemed good in theory, but not when you actually play it. A lot of random paragraphs mashed together. The idea is still good, though.

I would rate it better.. maybe a 2 if you could send more messages

lolrandom at its finest

Pretty fun! I like how it's written out like choose your own adventure stories!

the game is quite simple, kind of easy. i like the feeling of being able to simply make choices, and the game gives off a very wide variety of basically that. however, i didn't really like how 'i apparently ran out and locked the door behind me, locking the guests in' was not a choice.

this is one of those simple story games I really enjoy.

Worst book ever!

It is... strange. It is nicely refreshing after really long paragraphs of lameness which most storygames are.

It is very, very short, of course, but there aren't many mistakes.

... that was different. I like it!

I only read this once. I won't read it again to see how else this could have gone. But it was a really pointless story if you ask me. It was also really short.

It’s a really good story!

Odd... 5/8

Great game
Too short though

"To literally just throw everything you have in your arms down on the floor like some kind of barbarian or performing ape who gives up at the first challenge that cannot be solved without the aid of abstract thought, and leave the house, go to 20.

35
The kebab has just managed to reach room temperature, the level at which its bacteria are at their most playful. You manfully guzzle down around half-a-dozen forkfuls before your stomach starts to noisily protest. The juices that last night slicked around the plate have now congealed into an ugly white scar.

You are no longer sure that this was an appropriate display of masculinity. You have approximately one-third of the kebab left.

To soldier on regardless and try to finish the damn thing, go to 15.

15
Unconsciousness is mercifully swift.
Your adventure ends here."

LoL, at first I thought this would be another boring home alone adventure game, but after reading the humor in language that is masterly written, I decide to rate it a 6! =D

Bad, sorry.

Pretty good.

Not bad, I like the concept, I just wish it would have been thought out better.

Okay, this was a slightly pointless story

Great job. :>

I'm confused about what happened here

It was decent and amusing.

By the way, Haymitch is a forever drunk chariptor in the Hunger Games.

Neat. I liked it. reminds me of a Somber Haymitch for What ever reason, definitly gonna play again!

Meh/. It's ok... However, could be improved. 4/8

Really short and not much happens, really sudden endings too.

"This is going to be a lovely day" The end
WTH

It ends abruptly. The end could be better with little effort. there is no excuse.

Surprisingly amusing, especially the other books in the "series".

What truly lacks here is depth. Not bad though.

The pages were brief, but no less entertaining for it. It made me laugh.

very strange but still a good story

Pretty fun. Just like gamebooks

I went down the 3 path, and followed it all the way to the bang your head on a less metaphorical brick wall option. It was amazing, 8.

I got the best ending the first time! :D I laughed so hard at the page you got when you choose to pee in the wastebasket XD!!!! for that, you get an 8. Overall, it was a pretty good story, but did almost EVERY ending have to end with the character being such an idiot? XD I know it's a misadventure, but still. I like how when you try to be a good person and buy your roomate's orange juice, you end up passed out like an idiot, but when you get him arrested because YOU threw the shoe out the window you get the best ending.

it was boring,but it killed some time

I got another funny one including Gerard's bad dream!

Funny.

Oh Banisher, I didn't really mean it! I am sure there are lots of great stories on this site. :)

But I think there is a clear divide between people who understand this is a joke/comment on the format and people who are confused by it?

This is not the best story on the site. Nor is it close. I think you're also a pompous ass. The telltale sign of a crap author is that he brands people who don't like his work as "those who don't 'get' it" which is both statistically unlikely and unfathomably impertinent. Not that your writing is horrible, it isn't, but your talent for characterization/crafting a plot is weak.

Wow, back checking in nearly six years after publication. Thanks for the positive comments - there's obviously a massive divide between those of you who "got it" and those who didn't. I'd tidy up the game a bit and republish but then I'd lose all this lovely feedback.

I can honestly say I think this is the best adventure story on this site.

Finally ... spelling mistakes ... I can assure you, casual browser, that there are none. Text is in UK English so maybe that is what has confused some readers?

Just too confusing. This story was meant to be read in a book because you giving pages to the reader is unncessary online. Also, the spelling wasn't the greatest and the story, for trying to be all random, wasn't really that exciting and kind of boring.

Maybe you should start over and try again.

2/8

Confusing random and hard to follow.

Confusing random and hard to follow.

nice

Bo approves

not bad...

No other misadventure can be as realistic!

Wow... 6/8. There were so many choices at times, that it simply bewildered me. Especially after reading the CYOA books.

it was ok. it's like a game you play then forget about because it really wasnt anything.

Hilariously ironic!

it's pretty OK.

meh. Not my kind of story im afraid but it was ok.

AWESOME! I gave you a 7/8. For 8/8 use Items and make the story twice as long. I write this realising you are never going to do this and I should have given you a 5/8

Yeah, I surrendered. Ah well, I'm not dead at least.

That was hilarious!!! But, about the other books' titles, this is a family site and I'd like to keep it that way.

Well written. I'm putting this on the good list.

this game cracked me up awesome game I demand you make a sequel.

ROFL. Oh my god, this story is hilarious. One of my favorites on the site.

Intelligent writing with a wonderful sense of humor. Very memorable. Reminiscent of the Hitchiker's game. Excellent work. I'm going to play again.

This game rocks! Why did it get such a low rating? I like this game!

The beginning is weak. If you can work on that I might actually try playing the whole thing.

interesting take on this style of writing. but the story was interesting.

Game was boring and liner

If getting mobbed for hypothetical paedophilia, fleeing urbanites and destroying consumer electronics is your bag, then this may be also.

My life as a game.