Player Comments on escape the house

Wow, this... This sucked. I am truly disappointed at the community who makes chooseyourstory games, to allow this... This person to write such a horrible storygame. I feel bad for all who has played this game, because they have wasted their time, and could have been playing Pokemon (the game of the true OG's).

Well that was fun you should make more *glares at the haters* ignore them u r awesome

BAAAAAAADDDDDDD

Take this to an adult and ask them to read through it and see if they can spot any mistakes...

This story is full of grammar mistakes, you even have one in the tittle and the summary. Also it was a dare, you're not supposed to die. Fix it now!
-Icestorm

Made no sense

...?
How do I die for not doing the dare?

Giggles madly.

Why do I die for refusing the dare?

I’m going to pull a Kiel/Nostalgiacritic on this one, because I’m bored as shit and it’s Friday. Grammar puns inbound...

“you are dared to go in a haunt house by your friends”

I love haunt houses! They’re always big and beautiful and surrounded by intricate green gardens, just like any old haunt. This is going to be a beautiful game, I’m sure! I had no idea that you were a casual stroller as well! And to think I was going to riff on this game for its horribility! Ah, I guess you really can’t judge a book by its cover, no matter how many holes were worn in it by LSD and meth cooking, even if those holes are filled with rancid diarrhea… OF COURSE I’ll ‘do’ this dare!

“as you go in the house by the thick wooden front door as you walk in the house the door slams shut then you hear a screeching you need to get out of hear”

I can’t believe Mizal said you made WC look like Shakespeare! This is better than WC, this is a highly original story about a rather trippy walk through an old haunt, and you even used two adjectives! Now, I’d like to see the garden here, so I’m going to run further into the house. I mean, come on, it’s not like there’s any ghosts in this house. That would be silly, I’m at a “haunt” house!

“you need to get out of hear, up stairs you hear scratching, in the kitchen you hear crunching and the living room is trashed”

But I just got here! What the fuck, I wanted to trek through the countryside as originally promised!... Oh, wait, I just need to get out of ‘hear’. Wait, you mean I’m trespassing and the owners might hear me?... A stroll through beautiful country AND a thrilling crime drama! This is high-brow entertainment if I ever saw it! High brow indeed! This is definitely in the running for the Golden Monocle awards! Indubitably! Quite indeed!

“as you enter the living room something jumps out on you and bites your head of”

My head of... What exactly?... Lettuce, cabbage, broccoli? Oh, I forgot I’m a Wisconsinite. Did he bite my head of cheese?... Wait a minute, there are MONSTERS in this house!? Hah, a haunted haunt, what are the chances? This house builds more character by the minute! Oh what a completely unexpected instant-death twist that was!... Seriously though, what was he biting?

“as you go in to the kitchen you see a rat eating some wood that was making the crunching sound then you see something in the shadow in the living room”

Hmmm, then maybe I should go the- wait! I see what you did there, you clever little writer you! Too bad for you, this man has seen his share of haunted shit! I survived the House Of Hell from that horrible dark age called the 80s! I’ve beaten that one H.R. Giger adventure game with only a little help from the walkthrough! I have conquered the first Alone in the Dark game with some minor difficulty! This man here has survived more haunted house bullshit than you could ever throw at me!

“you go up stairs and then you see a cat sharping its claws when it see you it hiss at you and runs in to the bed room maybe it know a way out then you hear a noise coming for you, you must hide”

Look, the first thing you have to know about making a haunted house game, even if it doubles as a thrilling crime drama about strolling through the old neighborhood, there’s a certain amount of frustrating bullshit you have to include, otherwise you’ll never be remembered as fondly as those good old horror adventure game classics. Secondly, you are aware that there is such a thing as a compound word, right?... They were invented by Shakespeare. Y’know, the guy that this is comparable to, in comparison to WC. Regardless, I’m not going to follow the cat into the bedroom if I can help it, it wouldn’t do much for my image around here. I’m a furry, but I’m not that kind of furry.

I mean, if you were a homosexual sympathizer during the 60s, if your first choice is to follow Richard Simmons into the bedroom, then no matter what actually transpired in that bedroom, you’d probably end up just as lynched as the next short-short cardigan-wearing fruitcake the Klan walked in on. Anyway, I better head for the bathroom before Xa’ligha, the living sound monster gets any closer to me.

“as you run in to the bath room you fall down a hole to the ground floor”

Well, I did say that you had to pull off some bullshit in order to be as great as the other haunted house games, but for Christ’s sake you should’ve at least put a man-eating octopus in the bathtub or something! I mean, there’s no lamer fucking way to die than this! This is worse than committing suicide during the hunger games! Hell, at least dysentery had a bit of a bite to it, y’know? Ah well, to the cupboard!

“As you hide something runs up the stairs and crashes in to the cupboard crushing you to death”

Well, I still don’t know what that something is, but at least I know that he’s not mistaking some sort of vegetable for my head. I like the mystery, though. Leaving the horrors up to the imagination, right? Sentient sound, indescribable monsters, this is the next H.P. Lovecraft right here. I’ve never been more excited for an author’s career!

Well, I guess I HAVE to go into the bedroom now.

“as you run in to the bed room you hear meowing in the attic so you quickly climb up in to the attic happy you see a broken window as you look out the window you see a pile of trash of old bedding also you see a tree in jumping range but you might not make it.”

Wait… Where the fuck did the attic come from? Why did I instinctively go there because I heard a cat up there? Why do I instinctively jump to the conclusion that the cat is some sort of omniscient tutorial-bot that will guide me through shit? How the fuck did I even get into the attic!? I guess that doesn’t matter, I’m about to jump out a window to escape some unholy soul-swallowing tentacle monster!

“you jump for the tree you grab a branch and climb down you have escape”

Well… That was a lot of high-quality buildup for a lot of bullshit and nothingness… Kind of like Mass Effect 3… Or the Half Life series… Or Dig Dug… Oh well, at least I have escape! I wonder what that is?

8/10 IGN would fuck.

Why? Why does stories like this pollute the site???

stupid and spelling mistakes

Hey Raven I think you're on to something here: this guy could probably crank out about ten more of these in half an hour and then we just reap that sweet bounty of easy points.

More free points for me! Thanks! ;)

Haha what the fuck. You win the 'Low Effort' award, congrats.

You literally just made WC fanfic look like Shakespeare.