Player Comments on Hercules (sci fi story)

Wait,
I land on a planet on a mission to discover life right? I end up finding signs of life and suddenly arm myself, then i find this village inhabited by dog-like lifeforms and i decide to kill off a grown one and take a "puppy" back to my ship for study?
This expedition seemed very badly planned and from what i could tell the scientist you were acting as did not have the right additude for a mission like this. There was also not enough information to decide on the choices and the random deaths did not improve the story.

Okay... let's start with the bad. The walls of text make reading pretty iritating, even if the game itself is very short one. With one and only path to succes.

There is not enough information to go on. Who I'm? Why I'm here? How the scouts who checked this planet didn't see something so obvious like the statue and village? How the sci-fi scientist team walks into area without oxygen and just drops dead? Why in the hell first reaction of a scientist (sic!) on a planet seeing footprints is 'pull out a rifle'. And from where he pulls it?

You also write in a very confusing way. I have no idea which way leads to succes and which one to random death. So yeah.

The whole idea of the 'scientists on the alien planet' could be done better than that.

Too short. quite a few spelling and grammatical errors. A good start to a story, but needs much refinement.

So the main story is litterly four pages with three other page that could have more story, but instead you die. In a story you aren't just writing things down, a good write can make a characture and then tell how that person will react to a senareo. In the end this story game is all story no game way to short and poorly writen. My favoret story hade to be the semingly uninhabited planet, where do you get dropped off? Next to a sign of intelagant life, then you openly walk to unhidden city. Also your a sciance team is a equpt no with scinace tools to detect life, but laser rifles. 1/8

ok good but I kind of wanted to see more. Awesome story though!

Three things:

- break up your big walls of text into paragraphs; they're easier to read
- have some conflict, otherwise there's no story
- try to make the deaths more convincing; you die for doing something more dangerous

We found life on this planet let's leave.

To fast

I absolutely cannot stand YOU DIED LOL! endings

The part of me with feelings says "I don't want to be this horrendous character. They are awful." The writer part of me says "You could, with more depth/development make this interesting. I'd more than likely come back to it despite my distaste for these people. The writing wasn't bad; it was just somewhat confusing. There were moments when I couldn't be sure who was talking and things that should have been separated (paragraphs) were crunched up together. Plus, it's like 5 pages of story. I mean, there are like three play options."

I didn't really get the vibe you where trying to throw down.

There is a reason for paragraphs. Also, don't make a game in which only one option is correct, especially when you only have two options. Otherwise, the writing was mediocre.

Well, the writing wasn't bad, but those scientists are jerks! Just go to some poor aliens planet, shoot the aliens and kidnap their children for scientific experiments. That's just mean. Also, why was the guy in hyper-sleep?