Player Comments on Legend

Didn't expect much considering its length, yet the story as is, holds its own quite well.With intriguing characters, interesting plot and impressive writing, this was easily one of the best entries I've read, prior to creating this account.

When I call the writing impressive, it's not only about the writing style or structure, it's also about how the writer managed to paint a full and vivid picture of the worldbuilding without info dumping in sections of the story, letting the reader have a good grasp of the world around the characters without making it feel boring.

---Story---

The story could be summed up as a beautiful dance of emotions, blades, life and death. It opens up with Vladnil's very soul singing of his love for battles and gambling with death, seeming utterly fearless and invincible in the field of battle, knowing no equals... that is, until the moment he comes face-to-face with the king of Krieghold. Based on his choice, he will either die as an ordinary man, or live as a legend.

Either way, no matter which branch the reader goes through, the POV will always shift to the heirs of Krieghold, who, just like their 'creator', are made of stone, yet only one of them has inherited the king's powers, which will indirectly cause their separation further down the road, if the king is alive.

I really liked the depth of the bond shown to be shared between these family members, in spite of them being, essentially, highly intelligent rock golems. In spite of being created from the same material and sharing the same creator along with a telepathic link, the siblings contrast each other in everything. That includes their opinion on how "human" they are, with the brother feeling as close to being a human as he can be, while the sister rejects humanity or human traits, seeing them as a weakness and imperfections they can't and shouldn't have. Yet it's interesting how on branches where either or both live for hundreds of years, they hold the same opinion as the other had, all those years ago, after the battle between the King and Vladnil.

Though the story holds its own, and could be considered somewhat complete, it feels more as a prequel. I feel that the distinct mystery of the ancient magic could be further explored if the author decides to do so.

---Structure and Branching---

It's structured in evenly matched paragraphs, not too long and not too short, to make reading it as easy as possible, even for the Tiktok generation.

There are no grammar errors, at least none that were noticed and the pace was just right, neither too fast nor so slow that it dragged the story out.

As for the branching aspect, it had a good amount of branching, shifting between protagonists, from Vladnil, to either of the siblings. You will need to replay several times, to explore and find all the endings.

---Characters---
So, there isn't quite a 'set' protagonist here. One might think, Vladnil is the one, considering how we met him first at the opening, but, then there are Azrael and Azaera who are featured in the latter half. Let's just say that they are the main characters' of their routes/branches.

---Ending thoughts---
Would really like to see a further expansion of this game. It was the first work I've read from this author, and I really enjoyed it. Will be sure to read their other works whenever I have time to. I give my thanks to them and all the other authors for gracing us with their talent in writing.

Difficult to read. Broken sentences. But magnificent in scope and its attempt to portray a land of magic, heroes and stone gods.

Another Mizal story! This one had a good fantasy vibe with a good plot, characters and interesting events. The branching was pretty good and the writing flowed very fluently over the story which was good. It wasn't overlong so the story didn't lose interest for the reader, a pretty fun adventure overall.

While the writing lacks the maturity of a seasoned scribe, the story itself, namely pace and visuals, is superb. There's no wasted time or words. Just story and story advancement. With more time honing the craft, I'd be interested to read another piece, one that shows the writing keeping pace with the author's ability to pierce the reader's imagination.

The connections/references to other paths within the story were neat, gave me motivation to read more (and having things be connected throughout made the story fit together nicely).

I'd say there is a good amount of branching here, and from the endings I did read the branching came across as meaningful as well.

I do wonder if there were plans for more, as is oft the case with contest entries, but as the shorter paths didn't feel incomplete, I can only speculate.

Good work getting across the feeling of a large and complicated setting, really fit the title, aha. Reading more than one path doesn't take too long (due to the heavy branching splitting up the word count) and it does go a ways to making the setting feel fleshed out (I didn't notice any inconsistencies).

I wonder how many characters could be classified as damned, and how many as shamed. Good work!

It not bad, but nothing crazy either 4/8