Zake, The Novelist

Member Since


Last Activity

5/24/2022 3:31 AM

EXP Points


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Storygame Count


Duel Stats

0 wins / 1 loss





'ello! I am Zake. Welcome to my profile.
Writing is fun, hard, and interesting.
Feel free to message me.

Some sites that may be worth a look:

Contribution to the War Effort

Games Rated: 205/205
Games Reviewed: 0
Listings Created: 0


  • The End Encroaches

Rate all of Endmaster's games. (Games now only found in the forbidden tome).

  • Elven Pride

Rate all of Mizal's games (that are on the IFDB).

  • Nay to thy Naysayers

Pass judgement on all of Endmaster's (current 80) reviews. So far all helpful. Existence terminated.

  • Criteria's Final Row

Rate all of Gower's games.

  • Hammer's Shadow

Rate all of BerkaZerka's games.

  • Seek Wisdom

Pass judgement on all of Mizal's (current 18) reviews. So far all helpful. Existence terminated.

  • Acceptable Effort

Rated everything (for now).

The war is winding down, but eyes shall linger.

Last Updated 11/03/2021 (DD/MM/YYYY)

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points For providing the community with many helpful posts when it comes to the aspects of writing. Said posts are acknowledged and appreciated. Given by BerkaZerka on 10/17/2021 - Cool Contributions


The Capi's Band & the Missing Instruments

Entry into End Master's Manifest Destiny Contest (2021).

A stand-alone sequel to: Elvis At The Beauty Contest.

Join Miz, Matt, and Mandy as Madame Coon recounts the tale of the Capi's band and their missing instruments!

Recent Posts

Quite new. on 2/10/2022 4:39:25 AM

Hard rules aren't really a thing here; we are beholden to the whims of the gods, but they're not whimsical, so it works out.

To answer your question, check out this article: Guide Lines article link. The answer is: there are limits.

Text-Based Combat System on 2/10/2022 4:21:50 AM
Edgar cutting my head for 60 damage would save me a click to know what he done (stat wise). It would also shift the focus towards pure combat more than the surrounding combat narrative. So I think it could work, in letting you focus on other things. (But when adding complexity and choice, do it with purpose!). Randomly generated encounters can be neat, but I'd say just having like five prebuilt encounters and having one randomly happen would be more than enough. Although you should ask yourself if the player should be able to influence what encounter they get in such a system, and if yes, then you have to wonder if it even should be random. (Altho this isn't the best route for randomness since making 5 encounters is still a lot of work, but it depends on the scale). I don't know how exactly you're handling the random text, but using it to create immersive stuff would be difficult from my perspective. So, rather than rambling with my limited knowledge on that, I'll add this: Consider finding ways to make the player care about their character, since by getting emotionally invested they'll care more about what happens in combat even if the opponent isn't someone who tortured them for years (or whatever). This is a way to make the combat more jaw-clenching since I'd be invested in the outcome, without actually needing some insane levels of variation and logic behind the descriptions. Building up the fights themselves would also probably help, but just caring about the protagonist could be enough. (Do whatever makes the most sense for your storygame).

Text-Based Combat System on 2/9/2022 3:01:01 AM

Step 1: Download Unity.
Step 2: Do Unity tutorial.
Step 3: Make a video game.

Anyway, the question is, why is the gameplay boring?

Because you just click a button and get samey text (because of how many times you have to click fight before getting anything to 0%)?

Make blows more impactful. Make it shorter. If I hit his head either have it cut off immediately or go to like 50%.

But it'd still be boring, since I'm still not making meaningful decisions. Distance doesn't matter, checking condition means I have to click an extra time to see the impact of my action (beyond the text description which doesn't seem to reflect the %, although I admittedly didn't read too closely), and the focus seems to be for targeting which doesn't matter.

Adding complexity might improve things since then I'd have more choices, such as targeting mattering, but is this a correct assumption?

If armour covers the whole body it doesn't really change anything, if it covers 1 or 2 sections then I just change focus once before spam clicking fight. Or would it work differently to what I'm imaging?

Ask yourself what the purpose of this gameplay is. Will there be a lot of fights? You don't want to spend ages on something that barely matters for the end storygame. Can you lose fights? Does it matter?

I probably lean towards 'anti-combat scripting', since I'd say the build-up to the fight is what actually matters, but it isn't like they can't work. Dungeon Stompage! is pretty good, and that uses stats/heavy-scripting.


Think about how others handle this. Could take inspiration from Dungeon Stompage's style, or look at turn based games.

The managing of stats before combat could play a big part and be what is actually engaging, and the combat is a test where you see if you prepared properly. Alternatively, the stats could guide how you play the combat out.

Or, if you want meaningful choices in combat, then the stats could be impacted by the options, such as distance, focus, etc. But how does the player figure out the distance to stand at? How do they know what focus to use?

You could also considering making more of the background stuff visible, that way players see the awesome stuff.

Probably don't need to tell you, but be careful of scope creep. Adding weapons that you have to switch between to break armour would, theoretically, add depth, but would it make things more engaging? Be stingy with the systems you add, to ensure it all fits together nicely.

My last piece of advice is to prototype quickly, since allegedly that helps with game systems. Coding everything every time could be tedious, so maybe try doing it with paper (where you're the computer), board game style.

Need permission on 1/31/2022 3:24:07 AM
Ah, cool. You did mention virtual reality, and not augmented (which is what the one I found was), so I should've figured from that. Anyway, good to see more detail on what this actually is. It seems neat.

Need permission on 1/31/2022 1:51:55 AM

I could be wrong, but from what I recall/understand:

Chooseyourstory lets authors retain full copyright of their works, so you would want to ask the writers.

The site is given permission to host whatever you put up, but they aren't taking your copyright or whatever.

On the other hand, multiverse infiniverse is funny, since while you might not profit the thing isn't some free endeavour. You say you're a volunteer, how does that work? Who are you volunteering for? Is this a facebook thing?

If this is accurate:

The platform also allows users to place persistent content in the world, which remains in the same physical location even after the user has left the area or quit the application. However, due to the scarcity of real world space, users must purchase or rent land NFTs, which represent the digital layer of real world locations, in order to place persistent content.


Infiniverse has its own economy and marketplace which gives users the opportunity to earn cryptocurrency.

Then it does seem to me like someone could profit from this, or at the very least things aren't as innocent as you make it sound. What happens when someone else buys the 'land NFT' that you put the writers work on? What is infiniverse's outlook on copyright and the content put into it?

If you are just some participant wanting to do what you say, just make your own stories. If I found the correct infiniverse and you are limited by real world space, then being able to ensure the story fits the physical space is a good idea.

But that's just my take.

Changing variables based on other variable values on 11/21/2021 10:14:58 PM
Well, if you don't disable the links somehow, you'd want to redirect to another page if they can't pay for the choice they made. IF %MONEY < 25 THEN $DEST := @P10 (That redirects to page id 10 if the money variable is less than 25). So: IF %AREA = 1 THEN IF %MONEY < 25 THEN $DEST := @P17 ELSE BEGIN %SPEED := %SPEED + 2 %MONEY := %MONEY - 25 END This means that you go to the link destination if you have enough money, otherwise you are redirected to Page 17. Let me know if it works, since I didn't test this one as much.

Changing variables based on other variable values on 11/21/2021 8:25:03 PM
There are two main ways I'd do this. Either have everything in one link script. IF %AREA = 1 THEN %SPEED := %SPEED + 2 IF %AREA = 2 THEN %SPEED := %SPEED + 4 IF %AREA = 3 THEN %SPEED := %SPEED + 6 (Or use ELSE to be more logical) IF %AREA = 1 THEN %SPEED := %SPEED + 2 ELSE IF %AREA = 2 THEN %SPEED := %SPEED + 4 ELSE IF %AREA = 3 THEN %SPEED := %SPEED + 6 (Change numbers to be what you actually want). Otherwise I'd have separate links that are visible based on the area level. Link 1: Restriction: %AREA = 1 Link Script / Modify Variables: %Speed := %Speed + 2 Link 2: Restriction: %AREA = 2 Link Script / Modify Variables: %Speed := %Speed + 4 Link 3: Restriction: %AREA = 3 Link Script / Modify Variables: %Speed := %Speed + 6 However, since you'd also want logic for the price, I think the second option is easier to implement. You'd add an extra restriction: %MONEY >= 25 (or whatever the minimum they must have is). Then in the Link Script or Modify Variables section, you'd subtract the price from the money as well: %MONEY := %MONEY - 25 Oh, also, under storygame properties, you can change editor features (link towards the bottom). Set everything to advanced so you can see all the options. (Might not be necessary for this, I'm not sure, and am too lazy to check).

Redemption of an Angel. on 10/29/2021 9:27:12 PM

From Thara's comment I'll assume you had no paragraph breaks earlier?
They were there when I read it, so I won't bother pestering you about it (yet).

I like this ending. High stakes (even higher knowing what the failure would be!), and everyone got to contribute to defeating the demon.

Speaking of which, the demon stays intimidating, and is clearly strong. Considering he only got introduced late, he is handled very well. Built up to be what he needs to be, and as the final 'confrontation', he is never undermined, which would weaken the resolution.

It also isn't an easy victory, and it leads into Ereriel's final character development (her path back to heaven & not being snarky back at Sandra).

The time skip at the end also helps make the ending extra final. Such a big time skip could feel tacked on, but I think it was done well here.

The last scene with the comment on 'how nothing really changes' is also neat, and it is good to hear Ereriel at the end. Gives the ending enough time to be processed for what it is, without feeling like it ended too suddenly (which I think is a common pitfall).

Changing Billy to Bill when he's older is also a small thing, but I think it does help differentiate pre & post time skip.

(Also, something did change Billy! You & your friends won, but that's a meta observation).

Overall very good.

I wasn't exactly scouring it for technical issues, but my read through didn't really have anything stand out to the degree that I still remember it, so I guess the main thing to improve for next time is making the paragraph breaks yourself.

They do make the writing 'look nicer', but more importantly they aid readability. By breaking up text when the speaker changes it is easier to keep track of who is speaking, and by breaking up 'ideas', it also makes following the narrative easier. You can also do stylistic things with it, but I'd advise not overthinking line breaks.

Good work finishing two endings! They're a common pain point in writing (from what I understand), so having two finished that are sufficiently different makes for good practice! It's also neat to see the originally planned ending given life.

Adding pictures on 9/23/2021 5:26:20 AM

End Master's Manifest Destiny Contest on 9/6/2021 11:11:57 AM

@Mizal, I bet you weren't expecting it.

Link: The Capi's Band & the Missing Instruments

Submission for 'Zake (With Mara)'.