Non-threaded

Forums » The Parlor Room » Read Thread

Questions about a storygame? Thoughts on Eternal? Any other IF you're playing out there?

2nd CYS Review Competition!

8 months ago

Welcome to the 2nd (un)official CYS review competition!

The premise is simple: you have two weeks to read a storygame and write the best review you can manage. Feel free to format it however you like. It can be as short as a sentence or as long as Eternal, it's all up to you. 

Storygame:

Reborn (by Sherbet): https://chooseyourstory.com/story/reborn

Rewards
 

  • Winner: 50 points and a Mystic review
  • First runner-up: 30 points
  • Second runner-up: 20 points

I'll commend every review that demonstrates some amount of effort, and as usual, really well-written ones may get a featured spot. As for the winner, you will get a free, overly wordy review of any storygame of your choosing. It will expire at the end of this year (so you can save it for a soon-to-be-published story too). 

Deadline:

You will have until the 24th of April, 11.59 pm EST. To participate, post your review of Reborn as a reply to this thread. Remember to submit it as a comment on the actual story too. Good luck!

2nd CYS Review Competition!

8 months ago
what if I already wrote a review on that game? can I write another for this?

2nd CYS Review Competition!

8 months ago

Of course, though I hope it'll be more relevant to the story than the previous ones. 

2nd CYS Review Competition!

8 months ago
One interesting thing I noticed. Reborn is currently the highest rated game on the site at a 7.93. Followed by Pure, Vile, and Deadly at 7.73 and Tales from the Basement 2 at a 7.68. This'll likely change with more guest reviews who don't know what they're talking about, but it's interesting that the three highest rated games on the site are newer games

2nd CYS Review Competition!

8 months ago

It took me a while to figure out how you could view the highest rated games without enough ratings, lol. (For anyone who's curious, it's under the 'search games' section). 

2nd CYS Review Competition!

8 months ago
Huh, that is neat. I just only looked at 7's and higher from each catagory

2nd CYS Review Competition!

7 months ago

You have about 5 days left to submit a review. I'm sure that if I can write (almost) daily textwall reviews, you're all certainly more than capable of submitting something within the remaining time :)

2nd CYS Review Competition!

7 months ago

Sent is winning and tbh I don't think he even knows this thread exists

2nd CYS Review Competition!

7 months ago
Commended by Mystic_Warrior on 4/27/2024 2:18:20 PM
Review: I didn’t initially start off that impressed with the storygame. It was massive, so for its scope and competency I probably would’ve always rated it an 8, even if it was nothing special. But I was wrong, and this story has made me reconsider my views on what I like in a storygame. I want to get all my thoughts on this story out, so if you haven’t read it, massive spoilers for the entire game. I’ve read through all the endings, might’ve missed a death or two because I didn’t track those, and I believe that reading through all the endings is the only way to really get the most out of this story. Each path is good on its own, but there’s a lot you’ll miss by only getting a few endings. I’m going to start by reviewing the pieces of the game as I came across them at the time, and then I’m going to go into more general thoughts. So first I went down what I assume is the facility 3 path. Not really sure if it is facility 3 or not. I’m actually really glad I went down this path first, even though I don’t think it’s the main one. I thought the preamble was pretty decent, though the village boys aren’t that memorable. Fields is okay I guess, I don’t like him that much but he is a character with a little depth. I think there’s only a few character in this game that I think have really solid characterization, one being Rebecca and the other few being in different paths. But that’s okay, not every story has to hit it out of the park in every area. I like the lore that’s sprinkled around the facility. First being the human growth experiments, which is nice set up. I think I realized after reading that the monster that killed Corey and is roaming the facility is one of those, and different from the beast. Then you see a little about facility 3’s relationship to facility 2 and the set up for the books. All of this lore and stuff is my favorite, I really like it. And then you get some lore about how Cassie has the book, and I haven’t met Cassie at all at this point. And apparently Eddie gave it to her? I don’t think that’s explored at all, the fact that Eddie gave Cassie the book that created the beast, but I assume that contributes to his guilt a lot, if he even knows that’s where the beast came from. So after killing the monster and stuff there’s the purity wing. Now this is part of the story I don’t understand. There’s all this stuff with the mother who has a deformity and the baby, but there’s no other reference to it in the story. Now, in the description it says that this story contains references to Warden and Monster, so I have to assume that this is a reference to Monster, since I’ve read the Warden and it’s very clear where that’s referenced, but I haven’t read Monster. Now about the night mother. There’s no way she goes so long without being killed. The justification is that the button operator was spiteful so why should he correct the company's mistake. The only problem with that is presumably if he killed the night mother then the monsters beating down his door would cease to be. So he’d get to keep his life. The only rational I see is that he knew if he killed the night mother the company would kill him for insubordination, which is fair I guess. The company itself could also press the button after facility 3 fell, but I see why they wouldn’t want to risk destroying the books. Now the endings for this path are pretty decent. I think my “canon” ending based on my natural choices is the fame and fortune ending, and I like the other ending. Going back I picked up the other bad and neutral endings that stemmed from “go on the hunt” choice, and I got to say I don’t think this is the main path of the story. But I like that I did it first, because knowing more about the lore from exploring facility 3 put a lot in context. I expected more from the “go with Eddie” choice though. His character as a whole isn’t very well explored, but again that’s fine with me. Because the intrigue here is about the world and lore for me, and less so the characters. Now as far as the “Go to Cassie’s” path, I am so glad that I went to facility 5 before Cassie’s house. Because I genuinely think it would’ve been a much worse experience if I hadn’t. But more on that in a bit, I think in general it’s cool to see an active facility is still around after facility 3 is just ruins. Side note, facility 3 must’ve got exterminated relatively recently, since they had to have given Cassie the book 3 years ago, so the monster that Rebecca sees before she drops was there ten years ago, long before facility 3 got exterminated. Anyway, I like reading the little text entries, and at the time I didn’t even notice that the mirror entry was talking about Warden, which is a cool reveal. I went down the mirror path first, not realizing that the cafeteria path is a short one. And I have to say, Kayla is my favorite character in this game. She is characterized so well, and her and Rebecca are the main two characters that I feel attached to, maybe Cassie but not so much. I first did the path where you eat dinner with Kayla, missing the prisoner path entirely until I went to search for the three endings I was missing. I really like this portion of the game, and love just spending time with Kayla. My main gripe is that after this you go to Cassie’s house, and you could’ve gone there from the start. But if you went there straight away then you would’ve missed the entire mirror world, and it would be way worse. Also there’s no way a player that went to Cassie’s house first who was looking for all the endings would think that they had to go to cassie’s house through the mirror world to get one of them, I’m talking about the endings where Cassie stays as a monster in the mirror realm. I’m not sure that you can get void of life any other way. Either way, I like the stuff with the house. I did the attic stuff first and then the basement. The reveal that Corey was the monster gave me chills, especially since I had read like 60% of the story at that point and had no idea. One thing I wish we saw more of was Ethan, he was kind of just a random guy in one of the good endings. And I still don’t know why Corey didn’t get revived when the ritual went bad. I feel like he should’ve been, though that would be bad for the message of the story. Though I thought it was really clever, the one ending where the bloodstains messed up the ritual. That mostly summed up my experience, I liked the other endings, like the experimentation ones. I feel rewarded for reading Warden, and I’m glad that’s the one with the big cameo. Like I said, the characterization I feel is one of the weaker points, I felt Rebeca and Kayla were done amazingly, and Cassie was pretty good. Eddie was okay, we don’t see a lot of him. One thing I typically don’t like that this story does is rebranching and having choices that don’t matter at all. But it’s done well here, a lot of things are just for flavor and it’s fine. I like that the endings were numbered and I could keep track of how many I got and how many were left. If I didn’t know how many endings there were I don’t know that I’d finish the game, since I hate the feeling that I didn’t explore everything, and I wouldn’t know if I had or not due to all the rebranching. Overall, as I said at the start, this game is a solid 8/8. Sorry if this review was long winded and rambly, I just wanted to get all my thoughts out about this very long game. This is less of a review and more of a collection of all my thoughts about the game. This story was very rewarding to read and explore, and it’s motivated me to want to read more giant stories. 8/8

2nd CYS Review Competition!

7 months ago

Thanks for the review; it's always fun to see what someone's experiences with one of my stories were!

2nd CYS Review Competition!

7 months ago

Apologies for the delay, it appears almost everyone forgot about this thread (including me). Anyway, seeing as there's only one entry, I'll just toss some points to Ace. Not that it matters as he's still in the negatives. 

Since this contest didn't fulfil its goal of getting more reviews for Reborn, I'm going to add it to my review list. Maybe I should have just reviewed it from the start so I could declare myself the winner lol. As promised, Ace, you can request a detailed review from me by the end of the year.

Also, if anyone else is reading this, I would like suggestions on possible things that would incentivize you to review stories in the future. Points, a commendation and a free review doesn't seem to work. I'm brainstorming a new spite-based, somewhat gamble-y idea which I might mention in a few days time, assuming I can keep on schedule with all my upcoming irl assignments. 

2nd CYS Review Competition!

7 months ago

I'm gonna go ahead and abuse my powers to throw some points at Sent even though he didn't technically participate, since I liked his review. Thanks for hosting the review competition Mystic!

I struggle to think of what could be weaponized to draw a higher turnout with these things; the apathetic shadow of the CYS Summertime already looms over us like a dark cloud. Punishment-based incentives come to mind, but people have to sign up in the first place for that to work, and even the shame pit doesn't seem to make most people write as of late. But really, there's not much more reward to offer on-site that's better than points, comms, and free reviews.

2nd CYS Review Competition!

7 months ago

How about the writing of a cameo appearance for the winner into your next story, or whenever a character based on or at least named after the winner becomes feasible?