Player Comments on MALL TRIP ADVENTURE

Hey i liked the basic concept of the story, but there wasnt much excitment, and the chices didn't lead to very different things.

Stupid Kathy told my biggest secret to my enemy, so I insulted her. That horrible girl left for good, and this says, "Adios, jerk." I did nothing wrong. I don't regret it at all.

An adventure huh...

ITS AWESOME

Well, it got me a free point with no effort...

This isn't really much of an "ADVENTURE." It's much too short for anything really to happen, the humor(?) is bland, and the game itself is thus... kinda boring.

This is good for a short story

Very basic. Nothing really happens

I choose one link and the story ends, what do you call that!? I can't even give a proper comment because there was nothin for me to comment on!

Why mustard?

I get to be a lesbian yay! Watch out, Whitney, I love u!

ummm... i was kinda confused and found myself randomly clicking things. but it was a good idea. with a little more detail and some more links it could be much better

Well, it wasn't really the most interesting subject matter. First story I tried went: You got to the mall, you all go shopping and meet up to eat, you eat. The End. Need I say more?

Seth says MEH! It was fun but WAYYY too short

I looked into the ratings and saw that you rated it an 8/8! How dare you PizzaSnake313!!!

Well, that was... interesting. Good first try! See if you can work on character development next time!

Awesome Does Not Approve!
Umm.... That was a bit odd. Okay, anyways. It was really, really, really short, and I finished playing it about four times in about two minutes. It wasn't horrible in all, but it could have gone much better.
3/8

I think I got the best ending

too short it could be better if you add more choices like when you decide everyone should shop by themselfs you could add choices to goto some of the shops in the mall

On the upside, your spelling and grammar was a-ok! Your links worked, and there was a good array of choices to make at any one time.

On the downside, the story itself was uninteresting and rather mediocre in its writing.

Thank you all for your feedback, i agree it was a lame story--I made this story as a test to make sure it would not turn out TOO crappy. I was never good at writing stories and probably never will be, hopefully my others will turn out better, Thank you all for your honesty!

you've got the right idea with the choices, but it was a really boring story, and I don't know why you've tagged it as an RPG.

Your story would be better if you added more descriptive details.

... bad intro it made me cry T.T

It was just ok. There were a good amount of options and I liked that in certain situations your choices actually had impact on the story. On the other hand, it was really short and it was not that interesting.

It wasn't bad but it could have been better.

3/8