Player Comments on Pushing A Desert Army: The Castle

I didn't like this. The pages were too short, the writing was bland and uninteresting, and I noticed some grammar mistakes. The choices were generic, like for example, "You see three people, who do you shoot". I did like the plot however, though I wish it was built on more.

3/8.

I liked the first one better. This one seemed a bit underworked, and often the choices were seemingly arbitrary but one would kill me and the other wouldn't. One thing you could do is have a background page that explains how and why you ended up in the situation, giving a synopsis about the last story.

I'm not seeing why the original game of less than a thousand words needed a sequel in the first place. Wouldn't it have made more sense just to combine it with this one? You'd almost have had a single storygame of a reasonable length, that way.

Though to be honest, that may not have helped that much, looking at the actual writing here. This story and the last read more like a hastily scribbled rough draft or outline than a complete story. There's no detail on...anything, just one or two short sentences on every page summarizing what happened. And even those are sprinkled with grammatical and spelling errors.

This is a skeleton of a story. It really feels like it shouldn't have been published in this state at all. I couldn't recommend it to anyone other than as a way to pick up a quick free point. If published here today it wouldn't last a week.

I honestly didn't enjoy this game. The plot wasn't as interesting as I hoped it would be. The deaths/scenario wasn't very well decided. The choices were generic like FazzTheMan had said. There wasn't a backstory, and I don't know how you can kill 10,000 enemies with only a small trop of 3,200. Wasn't that realistic. The pages didn't have that much description. 1/8.

This is an amalgam of interesting ideas without a modicum of context. Making sure the reader cares about what's going on is important, so that usually warrants more engaging characters, situations etc.
2/8, couldn't make me feel anything.

10,000 enemy troops
3,200 friendly troops
MAIN OBJECTIVE COMPLETED

No backstory, no clear protaganist, no idea what this is.

10,000 enemies died

It would be nice if you added more details to make the game less random guessing and a back buttion.

Pages far to sort with no real description. It was simply click, and then either die or advance, then repeat ad nauseum. This didn't engage me at all. There is the basis of a plot there, it just needs some description in order to immerse the reader in the story.

I love the....inception. How when I took one path I tossed something to a guy, and when I took another path, I was the guy who got the item passed to him.

Meh. Pages were too short, and the lack of detail was appalling. Also, it needs a lot more characterization to be anywhere near 'good'. 3/8.

Better than the original, but still no where near as good as this time's standards.

Don't even bother.

For anyone with some sort of brain compound it's easy to understand why I didn't like this story. Man, you need to take your time with the pages, fill in good descriptions. This was obviously thrown together by a kid, which is proven by the lack of logical choices. Got it?

Seth says MEH! I was on prisoner of war, it was fun but short. I had to drop a point for it being so short. 4/8

Dauq! What's the hell going on.

Still have no idea what's going on.

Stupid that I cant win on Psychosis man.

really random

I didn't like it

fine.

i agree with rommel when i say that it lacks options.

this story lacks options.

The first "Desert Army" was far superior. The action was great, but the plot background was lacking and many of the decisions were fairly arbitary.

Worse than the last one.

i really enjoyed the action of the Prisoner of War section. sounds like you got that part down. you could help me with my GI Joe game im working on. i got the story, you got the action... that sounds wierd, sorry. great improvement.

gud game

Forgot to say, it is impressively large though, but clues/ mystery/ etc create desire to play. keep working on it.

not overly interactive, though it could have potential with a little bit of effort. Try some pics, get a solid story, and put some effort / work into it and you could have a good game.