Player Comments on The Wormtongue Journals: Book One

You have a lot to work on here.

First of all, it's another "part one," with no sequels or anything, so it's incomplete and I have no sense of closure because I don't know how it ended. It's a shame, because this was good writing, but I think the ratings fell a bit because it's incomplete.

Like I said, the writing was pretty good and I liked the plot you had, because it was an interesting concept and you fleshed it out quite well.

I'm glad you included a small amount of humor in this. (R. Kain sounding like Arcane.)

The character development was alright, but I think the only characters you put any effort into were Doctor Kain and the main character, but even the main character didn't have that much.

Please publish something complete, because this was good. I hate to give it a lower rating then I would have for being a part one.

3/8

Eh. Nice idea, I guess, but it is not really developed at all.

It always causes me to pause when I find one of these stories that describes itself as a "Part One", especially when the story is so very short. Mostly I pause, because most of the time the author does not return to complete it, and the story just hangs without any resolution whatsoever. This story is less than 3000 words, and its content barely constitutes a prelude. What happens here barely introduces a story, and just drops you when there is something interesting to explore. Since this story is so old, I doubt the author will come back and finish it.

If one wants to see an example of storygames done in parts and done well, perhaps look at the Homo Perfectus games. Each one can stand alone, but each successive one adds to the story of the last.

The writing is not bad. There is a little bit of branching, but not many choices, and the story is incomplete.

Overall, I rate this story as incomplete. A nice idea and concept that could have been good with enough effort.

Cthulhu? Is that you? Oh no it's a premise of a knowledgeable deity-type summoned via book/name. Disappointing.

I only did about three pages and then it ended. Did I do something wrong because I only chose the most logical answers?

Great premise and start of a story that ends abruptly. I wish there was more here to read, but alas tis but a fools wish. For I know that will never be.

The premise is good and the writing stayle fun, but the story is too short, doesn't quite flow properly and there are many SPG errors. A decent start - could be a great story with some development.

this was very short

I read "Wormtongue" and I assumed it had something to do with Lord of the Rings. Ignoring that, I thought the game was pretty good. Nice and dark, even though I didn't really understand what the book was about or how all the events linked together.

okay then

1 big problem, don't give people the option to read the book if it just ends the story, just make them read it or something

Confusing and short.

This is my first game, and I did not like what I have wrote, not because of the Satanic imagry within, but the pseudo-Lovecraft stuff that needs to be addressed further. I was under a time constraint (the computer I wrote this on was not mine) and I, being a LaVeyian, wanted to explain more of the facts of Occultic Lore, which may be in a Batman Begins of my book (meaning I will rewrite Wormtongue with a better story!)... Just give me some time... For I am working ona Ultima fan clone at the moment...

WTF... 3/8

Seemed kinda short- but hey, Pazuzu rules.

I didn't get that far in it. Towards the end there were a few one option pages, but I agreed with most of the stuff on there. A brilliant story. I'll play it again later and try to get further.

Nice writing, but too confusing, linear, and short. I don't quite understand why he was taken away. I felt promised revelations of mystery, but was only further enshrouded. Rated this higher due to your knowledge of Pazuzu and the writing.

one of the first stories i read when i got on the site. still great.

God for a start, but it should have an ending. Also, it should be a choose your own adventure story. You did't give very many choices.

A bit confusing... nice idea, though.

it is the best

mysterious...

Sortof Boring and confusing, good idea though. 4/10

Yah I've believed I played every page of the game and Although it's interesting and all it doesn't seem to have a definite ending. That's probably why it's book one. I am lookin forward to book two. This stuff is right up my alley. I know a little bit about this stuff myself if you ever want to talk.

Very nice, you are a great writer and the story is very interesting. I could almost see this as a movie.

Absorbing.. But it ended too abruptly! Maybe you should've added some more twists and turns, and made the game longer.

wut.. confusing and nothing really happend... just keep pressin' continue...

good

I hhave to play the game with more time to read it looks real interesting

I being of great experise in the wonders and eveils of the %th dimension liked this story but it was short.And could have been more imaginative but still great. I look forword to your views on the other realm and doctor cains damnation.

WOW! should be published if there were more! please make more! Awesome!

Great! Excellent! A bit short and I'd like some more options but great use of story and something different. Keep up the good work and hurry to bring us Book Two!

Awesome Game

This game is amazing, but cuts short. I think the page "Continue On..." has a dead end that's not supposed to be there, but I might be wrong. It resets the game. This game shows mastery of the occult and a different twist to myadventuregames that anyone can enjoy. I did. march