Player Comments on Zombie outbreak part 1:The Mall

Great and funny

Yo dude! Really? Like really? Hilarious and at the same time....boring.

I won and it was too short.

I really wish I could request L.W.P.... Except, in this case, it would stand for "Leave Without Play". Too bad I just had to have those points.

Zombie stories are usually boring and cliche and this is no exception. There is nothing to set this apart from other stories in the genre.

Also why split a story into parts? This is so short it is pointless. Spend time to describe the scene and convey how the lead charaecter is feeling all the time and make 1 good, engaging game instead of lots of drivel.

Seems more like a murder simulator to me.

...no just no....

It wasnt bad. It's just that it was rather short on both length and options.

Not bad if all are this short just put them all togather

... Well that was easy. Good to know I'd survive in a zombie apocalypse. :p

So I have mixed feelings. I overall did not mind it, but if I were you I would revise it some more. I do hope you make a 2nd one though.

SHORT STORY GAME.........

ok game

Normaly a zombie game fan but this was to short (i sound like a hypocrit i know) but if you make it longer and more in depth i would say it would be a good game.

3\8

Usual zombie game. Boring, and, frankly, not well written.

Too short, no descriptions, very linear.

It's to short even for the first part of a series, make it longer and it would be fine IMHO.

I didn't really like this story at all, it was too straightforward, the pages were short and stupid, and, this only actually affects playability a little but it is my biggest pet peeved, there where too many grammatical and spelling errors.

I didn't really like this story at all, it was too straightforward, the pages were short and stupid, and, this only actually affects playability a little but it is my biggest pet peeved, there where too many grammatical and spelling errors.

Short , needs description but I like the way the endings were in large font. Needs different endings though.

The worst zombie story I've read

too short

Far, far, far, far, far, far, far too short to be part of a series. This is probably in the vicinity of 20 pages at the very most. Before you should consider splitting your work up into installments, you should plan to have in the vicinity of 200 pages per installment. Really work on grammar for the next one, and you should definitely learn the advanced editor. Most of all though, go read Ground Zero by Endmaster to get a feel for what a storygame should actually look like in terms of quality and non-linearity.

too short; why split it up into parts?

its not bad for a first go, there are some errors that could be fixed. if you squeeze in the middle and then try and head for the nearest exit it just loops you back to the squeeze in the middle page. its allso entirely to linear. being that there are only two real ways to get out alive. other than that good job. if you find the time you should add some new path ways to it as well as some new ways out. If your going to use items you should probably try and fiddle around with the advanced editor. It should take you several sittings to get a good story done.