Deer89, The Reader

Member Since

9/11/2019

Last Activity

7/4/2020 11:09 PM

EXP Points

7

Post Count

4

Storygame Count

0

Duel Stats

0 wins / 0 losses

Order

Sage

Commendations

0

No Profile Entered

Storygames

Camp Elhorn
unpublished

When Johnny Comes Marching Home
unpublished

Recent Posts

When Johnny Comes Marching Home [Readers Needed] on 7/3/2020 11:26:39 AM

Thank you so much for taking the time to read through my story. I must admit, I was a bit too ambitious about the branching and really glossed over many of the things that give a story substance. Your feedback brought my attention to the characters, where I'm having a bit of difficulty characterizing an entire squad of men. Do you have any advice on how this may done? Also, what are your thoughts on Corporal Bronski, the MC's best friend? 

Thank you again for helping me out. This is my first real writing project, and you showed me how friendly the community here is. I've learned a lot from entering this contest, and I hope to do a lot more writing in the future!


When Johnny Comes Marching Home [Readers Needed] on 7/2/2020 8:32:08 AM

I'm a newbie completing an entry for The Jungle contest. I've taken my time getting it done, and hope that doesn't end up biting me in the butt. I've gotten most of it finished, just need to get several endings done and then proofread the story. I'd appreciate any feedback, though note that I'll get around to editing and fixing grammar and misspellings eventually. 

In the story, you take the perspective of a hardened Vietnam War sergeant. After the opening days of the Tet Offensive, you are back at the front commanding a new platoon against the Viet Cong. However, the jungle may hold more secrets and dangers than you'd expect...

I hope you enjoy!

Link: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/when-johnny-comes-marching-home

PS. Don't mind the comment in the storygame. My sister was messing with my computer and used my account to comment on my own story Lol. 


June is Noob Threshing Month! on 6/5/2020 11:25:13 AM

Edit lock. 


June is Noob Threshing Month! on 6/5/2020 11:24:51 AM

I'm in for 50 points.