Gower, The Expert Scrivener
"He was slightly less unfun."
"Somehow there was comfort in coffee despite his misery; the only comfort in a black world." -- Hornblower in the West Indies
A comprehensive quiz + bonus fan faction about the the underrated cult classic show "Kelly Unicornstrider and Friends" (1982-1985). Questions range from really easy to really difficult.
I think putting this on "publish" makes it so only we can see this. It's just for us, sweetie. I made it to celebrate our anniversary and remember some special intimate moments together over the years in an interesting way as a present for you.
I hope you love it, Natalie, as much as I love you!
(Of course if there's any admin looking at this, or if I messed up, don't read this, because it's got private things in it.)
This is my required report to the full faculty in accordance with the rules noted in the Faculty Handbook (version 15.1, as of October 2017)
"Personally I can only read 16 words in one go before words stop working," wrote Mizal.
This game has sixteen words per path. Not counting "The End." So you can play quickly.
When reviewing, please use precisely sixteen words. That should be plenty for your suggestions and observations.
Note this challenge connected with this game: Write the Last Page!
Articles WrittenBasic Sentence Structure: Additive Sentences
Cumulative Sentences, Part 1
Semicolons and Advanced Additive Sentences
Understanding Style: The Sweet Style
Recent PostsMRROOOW! *hiss* *spit* on 1/15/2020 8:34:23 PM
Look, Chris, I'm sorry I only gave you a 7 there. This is kind of embarrassing out in public here.
Hello. I'm new. on 1/12/2020 8:02:27 PM
Hi, and welcome!
Advice: get a profile picture; read a bunch of stories and rare and write comments on them to get a sense of the many styles here (try the featured games right on the first page of the storygames section); read the forums for a bit to get a sense of the style of posting; ask any questions at all—someone will help you.
Legacy on 1/12/2020 4:20:32 AM
It isn't really long-winded so much as not using any punctuation. I would start with commas. Check out the articles on this site to get you started.
This is a good one to start with: https://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=4315
Gower's Office Hours on 1/12/2020 4:16:22 AM
"Only to" there probably could have the comma, looking at it again, although I wouldn't insist on it, and obviously my first inclination wasn't to use it. There is no grammatical requirement for it in that position.
it would be useful, though, to prevent someone thinking that "only" there meant "for the sole purpose of."
Gower's Office Hours on 1/11/2020 7:34:10 PM
This is an interesting one that I would expound on more if I were at my computer at the moment, but in short, you are right—that is an infinitive "to" rather than a preposition.
What you have there is a "purposive" infinitive phrase (aka, you can imagine it going "in order to..."). And those indeed do not get the comma.
"Had they injected your heart with cocaine to try to get you going?"
This is as opposed to a "result" phrase that indicates the result, which does get the comma.
"They injected her heart with cocaine only to learn that she was already dead."
Aloha on 1/8/2020 4:24:55 PM
Welcome to the site! Enjoy the rich bounty of fantastic stories here.
Voting for Best of 2019 on 1/8/2020 1:29:57 PM
I'm putting this on my office door with no explanation.
Eli: A New Project on 1/7/2020 7:07:45 PM
Commas go inside quotation marks.
> “O Mighty Satan. I beseech thee to inspire Amon to manifest before me that he may give me true and faithful audience, so that I may accomplish my desired end, provided that it is properly bargained. This I respectfully and humbly ask in Your Name, Lord Satan, may you deem me worthy, Father.”
Are they calling Satan "thou/thee" or "you"? You switch here. If you want thou, should be "Thy Name" and "mayst thou" in the last bit.
I recommend experimenting with cumulative sentences. Think how cool it would be if this:
> Shadows lengthened, details faded, and every peep of red light, like the blinking one from the fire alarm, became a beady eye.
became something like this:
Shadows lengthened, detail fading, every peep of red light, like the blinking one from the fire alarm, becoming a beady eye.
Hello! I'm new, nice to meet you all! x2 on 1/7/2020 4:38:13 PM
It's good to meet you, Woody5000. Welcome to the site.
New Articles on 1/7/2020 9:33:49 AM
A section where new articles, along the same lines of the new storygames section, would help alert users to new content. As it is, articles don't call attention to themselves at all.
(and while I'm on the subject, I recommend a notification for when one's article gets accepted--right now, there's no notification.)