Gower, The Master Scrivener

Member Since


Last Activity

10/30/2020 2:38 PM

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0 wins / 0 losses


Notorious Marauder Exemplar



"He was slightly less unfun."




"Somehow there was comfort in coffee despite his misery; the only comfort in a black world." -- Hornblower in the West Indies


Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Having 3 Storygame(s) Featured Rated 97.9% of all Stories Given by BerkaZerka on 12/14/2019 - For an inspiring display of creativity ^v^ Given by EndMaster on 01/07/2020 - You may be fooling the rest, but I know you’re up to no good. Given by mizal on 10/11/2019 - For your exceptional games and articles, many forum contributions, and disturbing sweetness and light. (Sorry about McAllen, it wasn’t our idea either.) Given by Will11 on 10/12/2019 - For your excellent stories and many worthwhile contributions to the site :)


Featured Story Kelly Unicornstrider and Friends (1982-1985) Super Quiz

A comprehensive quiz + bonus fan faction about the the underrated cult classic show "Kelly Unicornstrider and Friends" (1982-1985). Questions range from really easy to really difficult.

Featured Story Private Game for Natalie

I think putting this on "publish" makes it so only we can see this. It's just for us, sweetie. I made it to celebrate our anniversary and remember some special intimate moments together over the years in an interesting way as a present for you.

I hope you love it, Natalie, as much as I love you!

(Of course if there's any admin looking at this, or if I messed up, don't read this, because it's got private things in it.)

Featured Story Sabbatical Report Presentation

This is my required report to the full faculty in accordance with the rules noted in the Faculty Handbook (version 15.1, as of October 2017)

Sixteen Words

"Personally I can only read 16 words in one go before words stop working," wrote Mizal.


This game has sixteen words per path.  Not counting "The End."  So you can play quickly.


When reviewing, please use precisely sixteen words.   That should be plenty for your suggestions and observations.


Note this challenge connected with this game:  Write the Last Page!

Articles Written

Basic Sentence Structure: Additive Sentences
Comma Use and Additive Sentences with lots of examples

Cumulative Sentences, Part 1
An introduction to the sophisticated and elegant cumulative sentence style.

Cumulative Sentences, Part 2
Master the elusive and attractive cumulative sentence by using panning and zooming style of description.

Dialogue Punctuation
This is a brief discussion of how to punctuate dialogue in US and UK English. It also notes a few rules for quotation mark use in general.

Relative Sentences
A lecture on how to write relative sentences using restrictive and non-restrictive clauses.

Semicolons and Advanced Additive Sentences
This article explains how to use semicolons to create new types of additive sentences. It includes the plain semicolon and semicolons with transition words.

Understanding Style: The Sweet Style
An introduction to style, focusing on "sweet" style. How to recognize it, when to use it, and when to avoid it.

Recent Posts

Hello CYS on 10/24/2020 7:08:02 AM

Welcome back!  I'm looking forward to reading your three epic stories!

Present progressive vs present to start a clause on 10/19/2020 6:44:20 AM

The present progressive would be "the relentless attacks are breaking his spirit."  What you have there in the first example is a cumulative phrase with a participle ("breaking.")  The second example is a straight-up present tense in an additive sentence.

I think in this case, the meaning is slightly different, and you must choose based on that.

In the first case, the breaking of the noob's spirit is happening as the posts are assaulting.  The cumulative phrasing makes the timing simultaneous.  We watch it happen, right there.  You can see End put up the noose picture, the frantic making of alt accounts, MHD posting a devastating sketch, and a hopeless final "I didn't mean to insult anyone, and you are all so mean" post with tearstains on it, and it's all happening *right now*.

In the second case, the comma-and additive phrasing ever-so-slightly makes it a FIRST-THEN timing.  The posts assault.  And the attacks break his spirit.  The wave of venom and vitriol spew.  Thara unleashes a single "Lol."  Mizal notes that this is the last time she'll attempt to help someone quite so stupid.  And then, the spirit breaks.  It could be in the privacy of the noob's classroom, or a bit later that night as he sobs himself to sleep.   It's only a beat later, but there's a definite timing beat there.

Therefore, since the noob's spirit breaks ever-so-slightly sooner in example number one, that one is preferred.



My Own Personal Mead Hall on 10/17/2020 6:35:59 PM

A curious thing hangs by a man's thigh,
under the lap of its lord. In its front it is pierced,
it is stiff and hard, it has a good position.
When the man lifts his own garment
above his knee, he intends to greet
with the head of his hanging object that familiar hole
which is the same length, and which he has often filled before


Wrætlic hongað bi weres þeo,
frean under sceate. Foran is þyrel.
Bið stiþ ond heard, stede hafað godne;
þonne se esne his agen hrægl
ofer cneo hefeð, wile þæt cuþe hol
mid his hangellan heafde gretan
þæt he efenlang ær oft gefylde.

My Own Personal Mead Hall on 10/17/2020 4:58:39 PM

Beowulf's well-crafted chain mail as being "locked and loaded" ... Purists are sure to object,


Gross.  I object.


Meanwhile, Beowulf gave zero shits.

I can't even imagine what line that could be.  Do you still have the Old English from when you looked it up?

Never mind, I found it.

                         Gyrede hine Beowulf
eorlgewædum,  nalles for ealdre mearn.


Which I would translate literally as something like "Beowulf dressed himself in his armor, caring nothing for life."

It's not *terrible* as a translation out of context.  But if you say you give zero shits it sounds like you just care about anything, but Beowulf there isn't caring anything about his own life; he's getting ready to deal some serious death out.  So it's not a very good translation of what's going on in the story at that moment.

But I guess any translation of Beowulf at this point has to find a way to stand out.  I think this does that.

The Shittest Story of all Time! on 10/15/2020 4:39:47 PM

The Dragon’s Slave

Chapter 1: The Virgin Sacrifice

"So, this is the girl, then?"  The stranger looked me up and down, and then down and up.  A little drool glistened at the corner of his mouth.  He wore a eyepatch and dirty trousers. 

The way he looked at me made me feel nervous and uncomfortable, but I also felt a funny feeling in me.  Not funny like laughing, or funny like when I ate too much, but funny strange.  Oh, I can't describe it.  It was just weird and funny.

“Yes, this is Arabella,” my stepfather said.  He was my stepfather on account of his having married my mother after my real father died after being in a fire.  What happened was he dropped a bucket of whale oil into the fireplace and some of the oil splashed on him and then the fire leaped out and burned him really bad.   

I screamed when I heard him scream.  Then my mother started screaming, and my father was screaming, not screaming like a woman screams, but lower, like a man screams when he is on fire.  The fire made his flesh sizzle, and it smelled like the roast beef we had had only the night before, the smell of which still lingered in the air.  The flames consumed him.

But he actually didn't die from it that night.  He lived, though he was grotesquely deformed afterwards, and then he actually died a week later after he fell off the roof while replacing a tile.  The kind of tiles that curve, the red ceramic kind.  So then my mother married again, and that's why he was my stepfather, this man who had his hand on my shoulder.

“She’s a good girl, sir. Strong and healthy and lovely manners. Pretty as a picture isn’t she?”  He slapped at my flanks a bit.  "Good stock.  Strong frame.  She'll do fine, she will,"

"What?" asked the man with the eyepatch.

"I said, 'She’s a good girl, sir. Strong and healthy and lovely manners. Pretty as a picture isn’t she?  Good stock.  Strong frame.  She'll do fine, she will.'"

"Ah, good.  I thought you said, 'song frame,' and I didn't know what that was."

"Ha, yes, no, I didn't say that."

As the two men bantered and dickered, I worried.  Why was he complimenting me?  Why did he have me wear a ball gown today of all days, when we had to muck out the field?  My good ball gown, the one that I bought with the money I had mysteriously found in the field, the field that was lying fallow in accordance with the best medieval farming practices.  I spent it on that ball gown.  It was pink and blue and had pleats and inverted pleats and a slit up both sides, and was a sort of A-frame dress with a pencil skirt.  It was made of tulle and gossamer and muslin.  I had flowers weaved and woven into my plaits and braids and I felt like a doll who had been dressed up in a dress to look good for this man who had the eyepatch whose name I didn't know yet.

So I was worried about that.

How Do You Make Friends? on 10/15/2020 4:20:48 PM

I think part of the answer is to just go do what you find fun.  People who are having fun are going to attract others, in person, or online. 

I suspect looking like you really really want to make friends may turn off potentials.  Being content with yourself is probably an essential quality for attracting high-quality friends.

Also being rich, attractive, and powerful helps.

Place to say hi. (i'm bored) ^_^ on 10/7/2020 4:17:43 PM

I think they would probably figure it out really fast and then agree to extend the following-each-other for a really long time, which would end up costing you a lot of money.

Then they would go out to a fancy dinner to celebrate taking you for so much money, and then they would fall in love.  That's my best guess.

Place to say hi. (i'm bored) ^_^ on 10/7/2020 3:36:55 PM

Hi, Avery.  Here's what's on my mind.  I like Siggi's yogurt, particularly the vanilla flavor.  It's so creamy and not sweet.  I love it.  On the other hand, I like Clif bars, and they are super sweet.  I'm kind of complicated that way. 

I imagine across the Atlantic there are more interesting and unheard of varieties of yoghurt and enhergy bahrs.

How? on 10/6/2020 4:49:05 PM

>Nobody was around her currently. The uncomfortable silence made her squirm. She was still a little tired from this morning, so >she turns the sign to "Closed" She lies back in the chair and closes her eyes.

She has a nice dream.  Then her mom comes in and tells her that they've lost everything on horse racing.  There.  That's appropriate.  I had to censor the first several things I wrote.

Interesting Comments 5 on 10/6/2020 4:36:04 PM

> Though I appreciate you let me keep cunt. ^_^


I nominate Avery's above post to be the initial post for Interesting Comments 6.