Kaiistove, The Contributor

Member Since

8/2/2015

Last Activity

4/30/2018 5:48 AM

EXP Points

103

Post Count

34

Storygame Count

0

Duel Stats

1 win / 0 losses

Order

Warden

Commendations

0

The Kings will watch you as you choose your fate in the next life...

Meanwhile, enjoy life now! Sit down, read a book, read my books. Hell, why should I tell you what story to read! Choose your own story!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notice me EndMaster Senpai!                  =^w^=

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points

Storygames

Southern Cross II
unpublished

In the year 2074 a space craft was sent from Adelaide, South Australia, to Arabia Terra, Mars. The colonial ship, Southern Cross I, and her crew were obliterated during entry into the thin atmosphere of the red planet due to a mechanical failure in the year 2076. You and your crew were assigned to Southern Cross II and launched from that very same base in Adelaide in the year 2078. It is now the year 2080, and Southern Cross II sits at the celestial horizon of your target of Arabia Terra. The fate of your crew and any future colonies on Mars, rests in your hands...

(This is a heavily story driven piece with your 'choices' taking a back seat to the plot. This means that it's extremely linear, and if you think about it too much you might realize that somethings will happen no matter what you do. You've been warned.)


Vampire's plight
unpublished

Assume the role of Theo, a Frenchman born in 1160.

After you participate in the Third Crusade, your life changes forever.

No longer mortal, you watch the world change around you, while the centuries pass by.


Recent Posts

Funny Prompts on 12/21/2017 9:01:52 PM

This one was just weird:

It was a time of terror. Snooty men would frighten each other in the street.

Only one man knows how to stop the terror. One delightful, witty man - Albert Sparrow.

Albert is a 100-year-old teacher from San Francisco with a thirst for robots.

He knows that to stop the snooty men from continuing their dastardly deeds, he must betray his funny granddaughter, Kimberly Ferguson.

He gives up his quiet life and travels to Los Angeles where he attends an important wake and acquires some creepy robots.

However, when Kimberly calls, begging him to come home, Albert is forced to decide what is more important: stopping the snooty men that frighten each other, or preserving his relationship with his granddaughter?


Funny Prompts on 12/21/2017 8:57:59 PM

So I figured, why not use a random plot generator for prompts?

Well, I'd be interested to see if anyone would actually try to make a story out of these prompts (I will add more if they are funny enough).

To start off with, I'd like to see what someone could do with this:

There's a bold new girl in Moscow and she has everybody talking. Stunningly slim and devastatingly grubby, all the boys want her. However, Elizabeth Wilson has a secret - she's a predatory vampire.

Garth Gump is a bold, curvy boy who enjoys socialising. He becomes fascinated by Elizabeth who can stop trucks with her bare hands. He doesn't understand why she's so standoffish.

His best friend, a down to earth alien called Chantal, helps Garth begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the green, weathered pistol.

When bodies start turning up all over Moscow, Garth begins to fear the worst. The alien urges her to report Elizabeth to the police and he knows he should, so what's stopping him?

He may resist Elizabeth's bite, but can he resist her charms?

Will he be caught rampaging with the vampire?


Need feedback on 11/30/2017 7:53:21 PM

Maybe I should make the path you took more branching.


Need feedback on 11/30/2017 7:52:03 PM

Don't worry about that.

If you did offend me (which you didn't) I'd rather have something to work on then a generic "Everything's perfect. Don't change anything." If you know what I mean.


Need feedback on 11/30/2017 7:50:05 PM

I must admit, that's a lot to take in.

Thanks for that. I think you've given me plenty to work on for a while.

You're right about American English not being my first language, but I don't think my Australian English is the problem so much as my poor literacy skills.

I reckon you're right about the ages but it will take some time to readapt the story to the change.

As for time era, it is meant to be mid-early industrial revolution, but they are living in a nonindustrial zone. I could try to explain this, but I struggle with natural lore exposition (which is why the protagonist doesn't even know their own race).

I see what I can do about a lot of this, but the description was left blank because I'm not sure how the story will turn out yet.

Thank you for your passionate feedback, and I'll get to work immediately.


Need feedback on 11/30/2017 7:08:43 PM

Thanks. I'll try to make the transition into the class room more natural, as well as try to make ages more apparent.

Fixing up punctuation will be a pain, but if it makes it better, I'll see what I can do.

Things like the setting I've been working on for almost a year (writing a proper novel in my spare time), so maybe it would be best to explain that the sort of oppression that is going on in this early stage of the country is more on the financial side. As the story continues, this will change.

Other issues you point out, like how oblivious the character is, is more for the reader's sake, but I'll see what I can do.

Thanks again. I'll enact on this feedback right away!


Need feedback on 11/30/2017 4:23:16 PM

Thanks.

I figured that I'd go with a Fantasy Adventure, but I'll admit, I'm a little stuck on where to go from here.


Need feedback on 11/30/2017 3:10:51 AM

I was wondering what you thought of this: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/project-t~2dh

Give me feedback. What can I improve?

How can I make it better?

Where would you like to see it go?

Interested to hear your feedback, and ideas.


What do you think of this concept? on 10/23/2015 1:48:43 AM

I want to know what you think of this fantasy world, and tell me if you have any ideas of what The Aquais Council can discuss.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/al'-valeur


Maturity level? on 8/29/2015 11:04:17 PM

I need to know what kind of maturity level this would be.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/kais?