Wannabe_Human, The Contributor

Member Since


Last Activity

10/28/2020 10:38 PM

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If you're interested in reading a story I wrote for a competition, link below!



It concerns you, a wayfarer, investigating a remote village to determine why their shipments have stopped. Insanity ensues. 

Additionally, here's the demo for my second book "Northern Elysium Hotel", in which you awaken inside a strange hotel with no memory of what has happened. There doesn't seem to be an exit, and the staff heavily discourage looking out any of the windows. What is going on? (Well, you won't find out in the demo).


Drop me a message if you want to give feedback on either of those. I'm generally more active on the COG forums, but I'm slowly getting converted.

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Recent Posts

Break! (The Contest) on 6/16/2020 12:23:57 PM


Break! (The Contest) on 6/16/2020 12:23:41 PM

I think I'll go ahead and enter this competition. Freeform.

Where would you take an eldritch deity on a date? on 3/29/2020 10:04:55 PM

Hey, thanks for giving it a go! There are a few slight variations, but that's pretty much it depending on the ending you get and not really worth replaying in my opinion. The ending that you got, where you kill the Child, is my personal favorite ending. 

Where would you take an eldritch deity on a date? on 3/29/2020 11:51:43 AM

I'm up to 10,000 words of pure eldritch lovin' so far. 

My sister actually came up with Squinder when I asked her for ideas. Of course, that came with the cost of her thinking I'm into tentacles now but that was a price I was willing to pay.

Where would you take an eldritch deity on a date? on 3/29/2020 11:45:08 AM

Thanks! I've never written a humorous story before, but hopefully it'll turn out ok.

Where would you take an eldritch deity on a date? on 3/29/2020 11:44:19 AM

No no, I really like these ideas! Especially the potential instadeath pathways if you somehow manage to tick the respective eldritch deity off. Thank you for your thoughts!

Where would you take an eldritch deity on a date? on 3/28/2020 5:52:06 PM


In between my more expansive surrealist horror stories, I decided to write a bit of a 'palate cleanser' in "Elder God Dating Simulator". In it, you (obviously) get to date any number of elegible ancient Ones. Trouble is, I'm having a bit of difficulty determining potential date locations, and was wondering if anybody here could help with that. Thanks!

Here are the current profiles for each deity I'm including.


“Will be the one from your dreams!”

Likes: tentai, salty dogs, antiquarians, cyclopeans

Dislikes: old people (elder things), people messing with his daughter, freighters, poles, ships in general

Potential Dates: Walk on the beach, Italian Restaurant(He eats the spaghetti while looking at you seductively.)


“More like AzaTHOT!”

Likes: The music of Erich Zann, cuddling in bed, shared dreams,puns, tentai

Dislikes: Being woken up from slumber, silence, idiot cultists, practical jokes, poems

PDs: the center of ouroboros, ?


“Looking for a new direction in life”

Likes: ageplay, tentai, recognition, vore, 

Dislikes: BDSM, that uptight bitch charydbis

PDs: Nursery, sushi place, aquarium, ?


“Will definitely put out!”

Likes: pregnancy, tentai, raceplay, petplay, being called “mommy”

Dislikes: Being mistook for a tree, bullets apparently

PDs: Netflix and Chill, dark forest, ?


“Tall, dark and handsome. Or whatever you want him to be. Can get you a deal on anything”

Likes: Egypt, blood pacts, tentai, dominating, getting old ladies to kidnap children, pet rats,

Dislikes: Lawyers, being shown up,

PDs: Courtroom, ?


“Will put on a show for you”

Likes: Yellow, theatre, graffiti, masks, tentai

Dislikes: that one anime, people that think his name is Carcosa, Mysterious Strangers, people that reference his past life as a shepherd

PDs: Theater


“He'll put his Key in your Gate.”

Might be a long-distance relationship, is a bit trapped outside the universe

Likes: Lurking, magic, tentai, things to look at, sexless 40 year olds

Dislikes: Needles, porn, 

PDs: Magic show?


“Warm where it matters”

Likes: Yodeling, snow, incest porn, tentai, impregnating women,

Dislikes: Offspring that turn against him, the sun, that bigfoot asshole

PDs: ?


“You’ll need a diving suit to see how deep that trench goes!”

Briny, broody, fishy, runs a cult “Everybody’s Obvious Duty”

Likes: fish dinner, the ocean, tentai, monstergirls

Dislikes: Whales, Philistines, the police,

PDs: Innsmouth?

Additionally, if anybody can think of any Lovecraft themed dating app names that would be greatly appreciated. So far, the ones I've come up with are:







Edit: yes, this is a joke game.

Contest SHAME 14: SHAME Of The Ancients on 11/5/2019 4:12:15 PM

I've seen people proclaim themselves as "writers" when they've produced less content than a grocery list. 

Contest:Battle in the Ruins of a Dead Civilization on 11/1/2019 10:53:49 AM

"wanna-be heroes"


Hey, that's me!