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A Prose Exercise I Did

4 years ago
This isn't really a story. There's no plot structure or anything like that. I've been spending some time on this as a way to dip my toes back into writing. I'm going to turn this into a story at some point. I'm hoping for some feedback.

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You awaken on a smooth, hard surface. Besides that, your body is too numb to feel anything. Inside this shadowy oval room, a bizarre ‘glug’ sound bounces around this room. Off in a corner, a flickering candle sits, shining with a dim green hue. Rising from the bed, you cross the room. What is it? An enchanting sweet smell emanates from it. Voraciously, you leap at it. Plop! Yeah… you just… plop.

You have light! Scrambling to stand, you find yourself in a new location. You are on a pathway. Constant green tinted vision reveals a mixture of iron, clay, crystals, and wood all around you, in the walls. These paths shine from crystalline walls in distorted shapes. This cobblestone pathway is the only way forward. It is cracked, but it has generous even footing. The floor of this place is unsteady, but intuition advises gratefulness for this. Whatever kind of place this is, the trouble of uneven pathways are so minor that you should count it as a luxury. Many people deal with much worse.

An emerald shatters to your right. Bright red crystals scatter all over the floor. Your feet run amok. The sound of rubies flowing onto the floor echoes from behind you. Shining lights grip and burn your vision from far down this path. Desire demands you to investigate; that burning bright light is so enchanting. It bounces farther from you before lurching ever closer. You cannot look away. Fear beats in your heart suddenly. You are prey.

You are in complete darkness. The hodgepodge surroundings are gone. The shimmering snake-light-thing doesn’t exist anymore. Your legs ached from all the running but now they are silent. This place is mad. You feel like you’re floating. You feel something... swimming towards you. You can’t feel your own body, but you can sense this? What the hell?!

“Hello,” you hear a jubilant voice coming from all around you. “What are you doing in here?”
“Where the hell am I?” you blurt out, “And who the fuck are you?”
“I’m you!” the voice exclaimed. “This is all you!” Its cheery demeanor clashes with this completely dark world.
“What are you? What the fuck do you even mean?” you shout; the words meant to pummel some sense into this craziness.
“I told you. I’m you. What are you doing in here in The Chasm anyway?”
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” you scream. This… thing has been babbling about nonsense this whole time and you’ve had enough.
“Uh-oh. This is a code emerald, isn’t it? Do I need to get the elementals in green?” it pauses, before continuing. “Have you heard of the term ‘eldritch abomination’ before?”
You don’t say anything.
“Well… you’re a fraction of a big, hungry monster. Your stomach is a big void. You’re paralyzed,” the thing character grumbles and sighs, “I guess I’m gonna have to flip the switch, unfortunately.” You feel a ‘swish’ coming from all around you, followed by a cranking noise.

The lights come on. The room you are in is completely clear, and as clean as fine china. That’s unimportant though. What is important is the fact that there is a giant silver monster in front of you. It is bipedal, with fins on the legs and muscular arms. A massive arched fin starts at the base of the spine, flowing upward and wrapping around the shoulder blades; they wrap around the shoulders, jutting out so they form two pairs of large tentacles. The head of this creature is a mash-up of an octopus and a dolphin.
“You don’t remember me, do you?” he says with melancholy. “Even in this dilapidated state, you’re so lively!”
You don’t respond besides biting your lip.
“I guess you could call me ‘Mir’. It’s short for ‘Mirror’. That is my function… I wish I could help you more, but you have to seek out Cuisine if you need more help,” Mir states.

You swivel around, scoping for the exit. There isn’t one. “Where the hell is the exit?” you spit again. This place ignites fire in your heart. Distorted words come swimming your way. “SPEAK UP!” you yell. “I CAN’T FUCKING HEAR YOU!” More words torpedo your way. This time they’re higher pitched Still, they are not understandable.
You twirl around, ready to give this guy a piece of your mind. You hiss, “What did you say?!”, only to find that he is also coming back around from his OWN turn. Is he really mocking you?
“Sir, I said that there is no exit. You have to come here if you want to leave!” This dude is trying to placate you. You know it, but that doesn’t matter. Everything he says is wrong! His gross flesh, joviality, and submissiveness are ALL wrong. How DARE him!

You charge at this thing, gearing to put cruelty into action. Glass shatters, and everything stops. The lights dim. The wondrous feeling of floating disappears. Your environment shifts once again.

Visions rip open your eyes. Heat surrounds you, but doesn’t harm you. The clouds above charge at you like a raging centaur, although you’re not moving. You smash through them. A trail of smoke follows you. The next breath you take erupts out of you in the form of a screech. In that moment, all your visions melt together in one body.

You are an elemental. Lava explodes through the sky, flowing into two pairs of massive molten wings. With a second pained caw, a meteor blasts forth from deep inside you. With your last breath, your egg rains cataclysm on the ground.