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Are these good plots or what

10 years ago

So, I was sitting there, and there had been some ideas brewing in my head, and i just got so excited i had to share them:

  1. Lucid

 So your a single dad and you have a 9 year old daughter. Your driving along, and then, BLAMMO! Dramatic car crash! the dad finds himself in a familiar world, but it's slightly tweaked too- in the most beautiful/disturbing ways. It turns out he's in a coma and that in fact, not in his own....he is stuck in his daughter's conscious! i thought this would be cool because i could play with perspective. Like, instead of the dad looking like "the real dad", he looks like himself in high school and he's in, a for say, marching band suit because he once showed his daughter a picture of him when he was in the high school marching band and thats the way she sees him now. Or like a scene where there is a coffin, and he finds his ex-wife inside. Thats because the girl believes her mother is dead, even though it has been explained to her that her mother actually left when she was very young. Cool, right? And the world is great and all, but slowly it begins to fall apart: In the real life, the girl is dying (her mind is still hanging on). So the dad has to escape WITHOUT his daughter. And i can just picture it: He wakes up, his dauhter is dead, but his face is totally stoned. The nurse is explaining how amazing it is that he survived without injury, but your daughter blablabla, and his face is still stoned....so it goes into his mind and it's like he's still kind of stuck in that world that died with his daughter, and he turns and walks away, and the nurse is like "wait!" but he keeps walking.... He walks straight into the middle of the road and he thinks its raining, but in reality its not, and if this where a movie, it would cut off right before he got hit by a car.

  1. Frame

So theres this guy, and he's pretty normal, except that when he was 12 he was discovered not knowing his name or pretty much anything. He got adopted and stuff, lives a normal life... and one day, he sees this hobo get hit by a car and die (OH NO THE CARSSSS). After that, he sees...things...like a woman everywhere. She's twenty or so, flickering (like frames in a movie) and black and white, and he sees her everywhere. So stuff happens, he tries to find out "why"...blablabla...he goes to an old movie theater and sees the movie, in black and white with the woman in it. FLASHBACK: he rememberssss! He was 12, running away from home, jumps a train. Meets this group of hobo boys (like17 ,16) and rides with them, the train makes a stop and the hobo boys run off some place for a bit... one guy leaves behind his jacket, which has some money in it. The guy takes the money and goes to see a movie, and it's OF COURSE the black and white one with the girl, and he meets a cute girl and buys some food, goes back to the train and hopes that the one guy wont notice the missing money...WRONG. He gets the crap beat out of him, jumps off the train and blablalbla, ya know, loses memory. It turns out that the hobo that got hit by a car is the hobo that beat him up. So now with his memory regained, he tracks back to his home where he finds his father before the old man dies. More details, of course.

So i shared these with my sis, and she told me they where weird and stupid. I like them, but then again, i like a lot of things. I was wondering if these where things i should pursue writing, and if you have any suggestions, please, say em.

Are these good plots or what

10 years ago
I like the first idea, it sounds kinda interesting.

Are these good plots or what

10 years ago

Not sure whether to choose 1 or 1.... :P

Go for the first one but it should be a game about trying to realize what's going on and a way to get out of there without alerting your daughter she is dying so that both of you can get out of there, multiple endings and shit. Though what I'd like better is someone trapped in his own mind (inb4 Pokemon Coma Theory).

Dunno why but Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind is on my head now...

Are these good plots or what

10 years ago

The first story sounds fascinating. Not so much the second story. The plot twist in the second story comes across as anti-climatic. Basically, the great reveal is that the main character got amnesia because he was hit on the head by some hobo. Finally, after hours and hours of angst and discontentment, toiling within his mental labyrinth as he seeks to find out an answer, the main character finally stumbles across the truth, the answer to "why" but not just why, but perhaps a deeper answer, an answer to who he is, what these memories mean to him, how they connect and form a part of his missing identity, and what these memories mean for his new identity, and that great truth, that great solution, the missing piece to the puzzle and the end (or the beginning?) to his internal conflicts is the memory of him loosing his memory after being hit on the head by a hobo because he stole his jacket. LOLS! :D HOBOS FOR THE WIN, SUCKAS!!!! >:D >:D >:D Hilarious, but why don't you try something a little more climatic? What new things does he learn about himself? Does he accept these memories as a part of him or does he reject them as an alien personality? Does the prospect of learning what he was like in the past terrify him? What does he learn about the meaning of identity?

WANNA BE A MAGICAL GIRL

9 years ago

Well, the thing is, it's hard to find the stuff in the middle. Where to put them climaxes!

Lucid is easy: there is so much to play with, so much to think with.

How i make these stories starts with a picture in the head.

Frames started with a woman in black and white, standing on top of a car. And the picture this: The man walks into a field, because he see the woman (black and white, flickering). She turns and runs. There are bombs in the sky. It's like at first the images are nice and mysterious, but the become down right terrifying. Soon he sees the movie frames everywhere, like his world is getting devoured.

( O_O)

But the problem is....why? I don't think getting hit over the head by a hobo really deserves to be why he sees the movie frames and bombs and stuff. I can't seem to come up with a good reason.

But here's this: He was young, and he saw the movie in a time of great need. The woman in the movie corresponds with him, it's his life on screen almost, but i need a good reason WHY he saw it, and why he doesn't remember.

So yes it IS anti-climatic.....I'm just looking for a reason why.

WANNA BE A MAGICAL GIRL

9 years ago

Hm... What if the "why" isn't the climax at all? The main character could have lost his memories for an all number of reasons; hit by bus, hit by a car, hit by a bicycle, hit by a flying tree... What if the main character could remember how he lost his memories and wasn't too particularly concerned about the car/tree/bicycle crash? What if the real question isn't "why," but "what," as in what did he forget?

O_O

Haha, I don't want to go too much on a limb here, but perhaps you could try brainstorming "what" as opposed to "why." Because in the end, it's about what was so important about the things he forgot, right? What did he forget that will shock his world once he starts to remember it? The "why" could be important part of that, like maybe that car-crash was actually a conspiracy he forgot, or the conspiracy was that it was actually a tree, or a flying bicycle, or it really wasn't a car crash at all and his psych had constructed a fake memory because he couldn't cope with the more horrifying truth that lies in his subconscious and now that it's been revealed to be one great lie he's now plagued by nightmares and doubts as he begins to question even his own memories, or maybe the TREE was actually a BICYCLE and the bicycle has trying to kill him all along and was really the one behind this entire plot. You could really have fun with this.

Either way, I don't think your plots are stupid at all. In fact, I think you've got some great ideas brewing and you just need a little more brainstorming.

WANNA BE A MAGICAL GIRL

9 years ago

They didn't clean the bloodstains off the tree in time, and then he remembers he actually had a very dear brother that broke his skull to cushion him...

And the reaction?