If you've ever seen Kitchen Nightmares, you've run into the same problem I have. The show is fine, whatever, but certain episodes would have been seriously elevated if Gordon Ramsay had been allowed to just take out some of those restaurant owners. I can't be alone in thinking that, right?

Last year we at CYS brought in the New Year with Wholesome Dog's Birthday Adventure. This year... this.

Disclaimer: This gets a little rancid.

Super Bonus Challenge: See if you can deduce which page of this storygame was written by Sent!

I discovered a thing that JJJ wrote. It told me all about this quiz-making shit. I followed the instructions, even though I disobeyed JJJ's opening lines by starting this WITHOUT a basic knowledge of any of that weird scripty shit he recommended. This was low-effort as all hell, don't ever use the classic editor for anything you care about.

AQIMFTBHOIA DLC: THE UPDATE DESCRIPTION

Since some of my questions contained outdated information and I needed to make sure everything was in working order, I unpublished this thing. Since I understand this to be something that generally fucks with ratings, I'm gonna add 5 more questions so you have more of a reason to rate it again. Also, every question now has a stupid answer. These are the ones that are so blatantly wrong/non-answers that they give you negative points... Some are better hidden than others. Aside from most of the endings being revamped, there are two new endings! One is for people who're spectacularly awful at quizzes, and the other is an ending for people who go off the beaten path... By being really  bad at quizzes.

No, I will not add a thing at the end that shows your score. If you want to know your score, you have to dick-measure in the comments yourself. Drill Sergeant Nasty has always been an accurate barometer for how well you did, in my eyes.

this is a loosely satirical and somewhat more gamey version of the game that isn't really a game. thanks to the creative juices of Bardockwest. The ORIGINAL: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk

In a strange world where World War I hasn't even happened yet, Law and order is the only accepted form of justice. Until NOW.

Enter Mild-Mannered Clifford T. Boot, 2nd class passenger on the world-famous vessel, the Titanic. Haunted by the shadows of his war-torn past, Clifford bought a ticket to the United States of America looking for a new life. But trouble always finds Clifford, and when an innocent widow and her child are kidnapped by a cult dedicated to resurrecting Napoleon, he has no choice but to return to his old ways and save them... Because for some motherfuckers, mass tragedy doesn't come soon enough.

One bath at the far end of the hall, but since I'm waterproof the bath itself is also a living room, to save space.
 

WAIT ARE YOU JUST MAKING ME SHOW OFF MY PALATIAL ESTATE TO ENRAGE THE PEASANTRY AND GET MY ASS GUILLOTINED!?

Nice try, but I have an answer for every one of your slanderous speculations!
 

IT'S NOT AN IGLOO IT'S A SUBMARINE IN LAKE MICHIGAN THAT SMELLS EXTREMELY NORMAL FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

THEN IT WILL HAVE BEEN YOUR LOSS, WOULDN'T IT'VE?

This is the only reasoning I will hear for the confiscation. I can live with that.

"Banned persons often have their points redistributed", that was not a precedent that was set nor a thing that regularly happened until long after Malk and I invented grave robbery, I'm sorry to say. It was public knowledge when we were doing it, there was nothing to "catch", and if you had asked or named names at the time when you weren't a mod, you certainly would have been allowed to have those points too. But you did not!

I plead NOT GUILTY! 

I refuse to accept even a shred of culpability for this, as this has nothing to do with anything I have done. I have never once awarded myself any points that were not stolen from a dead account. Those instances of rightful looting I hold to be sacrosanct under common law, as they were readily accepted at the time, and the opportunity was open to non-moderators as well. Chris, Malk, and I believe even Sherbet were all readily cut in to that heist and not a hand has been raised against them. The readily accepted practice of point confiscation has, in fact, continued, against living offenders no less, long after that initial incident, and no one-- Not Thara nor her numerous unremembered benefactors-- has seen a smidgeon of consequences for this, nor, I believe, should they. Out of the points that have been confiscated from me, I want those specific ones back, because if taking trophies from the corpse of an enemy is criminal, then I don't want to be innocent. I will be countersuing this sham of a state on this matter if they are not returned.

As far as the other admin bonuses, I don't care, take them. I appreciate that some administrators respect greatness when they see it, but I didn't give them to myself and have no idea where they came from. If you have suddenly decided to judge these donations as fraudulent, then that's your prerogative, but leave me out of it! And also, the points-per-featured thing is literally an automated process! An automated process, I might add, on a site that's so old, that even if I went and took one of those free coding courses that teaches you how to read programming or whatever, I'd have no idea  What the fuck do you think I did!? This is an outrageous accusation!

When you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.

This happens commonly all over Italy and Greece, actually. When the sea air carries all the olive oil fumes toward the mountain, it gets caught there and sort of just starts to look like a Renaissance painting of people sitting on clouds.

I'm not really certain I know what you mean by "largely the same". I think unless you draw an extremely wide umbrella and flatten a lot of things down to ignore the contradictions, you would be hard-pressed to find a strong consensus between the world religions of the same time period other than a kind of vague general belief in anthropomorphic will assigned to natural forces, and similar historical and social issues that effected different populations of that time, that some of these religious teachings may have had similar reactions to. Even the individual philosophers whose names we know, stand in different places regarding the relative existence of the gods, or a god, and the roles they play in our human lives. Stoicism and Aristotelianism, for examples off the top of my head, took on religious traits after people at large began adopting beliefs from their writings, and they come with a lot of mutually exclusive ideas about physics and the way the physical world works that couldn't really be tested by science at the time.

The fact that most of the sun gods have "become mythology" in the minds of most people today has a lot more to do with everyone who worshipped most of them being dead than it does with us simply knowing what the sun is. There were non-supernatural explanations for the sun even when the sun was being worshipped as a god! Granted, a lot of them were scientifically wrong, but a person even at the time could believe both things. Sol Invictus was a Roman sun cult that was popular well near the time of Christ. And like... A very easy way to tell why this isn't true, is like... Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin is not a household name for discovering the physical makeup of the sun and proving that it's just a self-sustaining radioactive hydrogen explosion floating around in space. This discovery didn't suddenly kill a bunch of sun gods, it was a discovery made in the 1930s. By that point, everybody who didn't worship the sun already didn't, for completely other reasons. It already was not significant to them that way. And the sun gods and goddesses in India and Japan? Nothing really happened to them. There are people who still worship them, and though their religion may have declined in significance I think that has a lot more to do with global socioeconomic pressures than simply discovering that aspects of the stories are not literally true. Like, the Greek Gods had a pretty long run. You think in 4,000 years nobody climbed Mount Olympus even once and saw nothing was up there? Or even, like, looked at Mount Olympus, and saw that there was no sign of life at the top, like a light or smoke from a brazier or literally anything? Hell, have you actually seen Mount Olympus? It's like somebody half-buried a giant pringles chip on its side. Do you think they noticed that a big palace where 12 giants sat in a big circle might be tricky to balance? Or, maybe their relationship to their religion was not so expressly physical, and if somebody climbing Mount Olympus actually believed the gods were seated there, a literal circle of giant motherfuckers on golden thrones was not what they actually, literally expected to see at the top.