Will11, The Master Scrivener

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4/25/2017 8:23 AM

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Pre-Eminent Architect Exemplar


Golden Rule: Treat other people as you would want to be treated yourself. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read and comment on my stories and have a great day :D I might be busy for a while and not on the site so much :) The Weekly Review will return at a future date. If anyone needs me for anything urgent just send me a pm :)

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points The weekly review. Having 5 Storygame(s) Featured Rated 95.0% of all Stories Given by BerkaZerka on 01/10/2017 - Love the Weekly Review and Quality Work! Given by EndMaster on 08/04/2015 - For continuing to put out quality work. Given by JJJ-thebanisher on 12/11/2016 - For incredible site contributions ranging from excellent stories to a measured forum presence. Given by Sethaniel on 08/05/2015 - As promised, awarded for "Hunting the Ripper," and elevating the Edutainment category in general-- not to mention your fabulous review skills. Given by Will11 on 01/15/2017 - Because it's mine :)


A Titanic Experience

You know the story and have probably seen the film; now you can experience what the disaster was really like for those who were there.

Authors Note: This story is about 90% historically accurate, every event and spoken word occurred in identical or similar form, though to prevent this becoming a comedy I had to change some of the speech (things like "I say old man, that is frightfully sporting" has become "That is very decent of you"). On the bright side you should not find Jack and Rose running around in this story :)


American Outlaws: The Dillinger Gang
It is 1933 and America is in its fourth year of Depression. There is widespread anger at the banks and at the forces of justice. Against this backdrop the charismatic and carefree John Dillinger has emerged to lead a gang of hardened bank robbers and killers in challenging the American Government and the newly-formed FBI. You are one of his gang who rob the wealthiest banks in the country to buy the best life has to offer. The forces of justice will relentlessly pursue you and it is only by surviving deadly gunfights and high-speed chases that you will be able to stay ahead of them... Author's Note: Though the next story in this series should be Butch Cassidy's Hole in the Wall Gang I decided to skip forward a bit and write about a smaller group operating in a different time than my previous two stories which were set in the Old West. Dillinger was one of the closest examples of a Robin Hood type criminal that America has yet produced and I hope the reader enjoys reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Featured Story American Outlaws: The James Gang

Jesse James was a lad that killed many a man / he robbed the Glendale train / he stole from the rich and he gave to the poor / he had a hand and a heart and a brain.

It was on a Saturday night and the moon was shining bright / they robbed the Glendale train / and people did say over many miles away / it was those outlaws Frank and Jesse James!

Now the people held their breath when they heard of Jesse's death / and wondered how he'd ever come to fall / Robert Ford, it was a fact, he shot Jesse in the back / While Jesse hung a picture on the wall...

In this story your name is Bill Grey and you are an outlaw, one of a desperate gang who have chosen to live outside the law. By robbing Yankee banks you can make more money in one day than you could make in ten years of work but at the cost that thousands of lawmen and law-abiding citizens everywhere will hunt you relentlessly, not stopping until you are brought to justice Dead or Alive! By surviving deadly gunfights and eluding pursuit with the help of your fellow outlaws your objective is to escape with your ill-gotten gains and live a life of luxury!

Author's Note: This is a little gift to the site to make up for the fact that The CYS Challenge isn't even a quarter finished yet and Magellan 5 is still in the planning stage. As always with my Edutainment stories it's about 90% true but events have been edited or simplified to make the story flow more easily and be more enjoyable. Incidentally my personal feelings about Jesse James and his companions is that history has been incredibly kind to men who shot defenseless people, stole the money of their countrymen and kept it all for themselves but the things he and others like Billy the Kid, John Dillinger et al did are so remarkable it's hard to keep from admiring their pure nerve :)

American Outlaws: The Wild Bunch

They were dueling Doolin-Dalton / High or low it was the same / Easy money and faithless women / Red eye whiskey for the pain.

Go down Bill Dalton, it must be God's will / Two brothers lying dead in Coffeyville / Two voices call you from where they stood / Lay down your law books now, they're no damn good.

Better keep on moving Doolin-Dalton / Till your shadow sets you free / If you're fast and if you're lucky / you will never see that hanging tree.

With a pistol in each hand, your horse's hooves drumming beneath you, the incessant bangs and whizzes of gunshots all around you, the shouts of angry men and the screams of the injured and dying ringing in your ears you roam the towns, plains and wilderness of the American Old West with your fellow outlaws: the daring Dalton boys, the King of the Oklahoma Outlaws Bill Doolin and all the other members of The Wild Bunch. Your mission is to get rich or die trying and if you are very clever and very lucky you might just live to enjoy your ill-gotten gains; if not... a weather-beaten cross in a dusty cemetery and your rusting pistol in a 21st century museum next to an old black and white photo of a bullet-riddled body will be your fate!

Author's Note: Following the (for me) surprisingly positive feedback on The James Gang I've decided to write the next story I had planned in that series, putting The CYS Challenge and Magellan 5 on hold for now. With a new cast of larger-than-life characters, more epic gunfights and daring robberies like it's predecessor this is the sort of story too unbelievable for fiction and absolutely incredible for being true! I sincerely hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

Battlefield Commander: The Trojan War

In this story game you become a commander from ancient times, leading your brave warriors into the greatest battles of history! Your decisions will determine whether you and your men live or die as you fight with and against the greatest and worst commanders the world has ever known! Let the fight begin!

Author's Note: This is basically a test story-game to see if I can figure out the mechanics of this site well enough to deliver a respectable war simulation...

Climbing Beyond The Clouds

Can you be the first man to reach the summit of Mount Everest?

Authors Note: My last Edutainment game, I promise! It is Fantasy, Modern Adventure and Puzzles all summer now :D

Featured Story HOW NOT TO WRITE- A Pokemon Adventure - Part 1 - Chapter I - Section A: The Beginning of the Start

Rule 1: Unless your story is at least 100 pages long you shouldn't divide it into parts and pay some attention to choosing the correct Maturity, Difficulty and Tags for your story.

As I happen to be on holiday for the first time in about 900 years I've managed to write a little story game offering some examples I've brainstormed or seen recently in badly-written stories of how not to write. Like it's older cousin, The Land of Bad Writing, this story uses examples of bad writing as a way of showing how not to write and I don't have any one story in mind particularly in writing this, just practitioners of bad writing in general.

I've decided to base this story on Pokemon for no other reason than the fact Fan Fiction requires less creativity than most other styles of writing and because Pokemon reminds me of when I was a little Will11 and I, my ten brothers (all coincidently called Will as well) and my nine sisters (the Wilmas 1 to 9) would gather behind the nuclear waste and anthrax testing facility in the woods outside our little trailer park called Asbetos to trade black market Pokemon cards for Plutonium with a mixture of Gypsies, Elves and the Dutch... basically I'm writing about Pokemon because I'm feeling a little Nostalgic today :D

(Rule 1.5: Don't write lengthy and pointless descriptions offering fake autobiographies to your readers).

Featured Story Hunting the Ripper

"Jack the Ripper is dead / Jack the Ripper is dead / He's lying on his bed / Bleeding through his head / Jack the Ripper is dead" - A Victorian Children's Skipping Rope Song.

Death stalks the fog-shrouded streets of London as prostitutes are killed and mutilated in the darkness of the night... As a Private Detective working alongside Scotland Yard you will be faced with the most challenging adversary of your career, a man who's very name has become a byword for terror: Jack the Ripper. Are you smart enough to catch him?

BEWARE: This game is 200+ pages long and will take about 30-60 minutes to read through. Do not read if operating heavy machinery, juggling chainsaws or entertaining small children.

Author's Note: This story will require some thinking and the reader might want to make notes, though with a bit of cleverness and logic readers should be able to correctly identify the real Ripper. About 95% of the information in this story is historically accurate.  Finally as you'd probably guess a story about hunting someone who killed and mutilated prostitutes is not a feel-good family comedy, if you are under 13 I don't recommend that you read this. Certainly do not google "Jack the Ripper victims" if you suffer from nightmares :D

Magellan 1: Race into the Great Unknown

For hundreds of years your people have lived on The Three Islands completely surrounded by a vast impenetrable reef. Scientific advances and large amounts of gunpowder has finally allowed your people to breach this reef in two places, making accessible for the first time a vast unexplored world beyond your country's borders. The ten greatest sea captains of The Three Islands have been summoned by the King to take part in a great race: to be the first to sail around an unexplored world!
You are one of these Captains and an exciting adventure into the unknown awaits you!

Author's Note: My first foray into Fantasy for teenage readers! Inspired by the incredible first voyage around the world by Ferdinand Magellan if this story isn't universally detested it will be the first of a five-part series of adventures! I hope you enjoy it and as always, thank you for taking the time to read the semi-literate scribbles I like to call my writing :)

Magellan 2: Fight for Beliefs

The Great Reef has been breached and your people are pouring out into a vast new world: a world of opportunities, adventure... and danger.

Explorers and traders establishing new colonies on the islands discovered by you and your fellow sea-farers have come into conflict with warlike and deadly Natives and blood has been shed. In response Queen Anne-Marie has assembled a vast War Fleet to sail out to meet with these Natives and establish land ownership by diplomacy or force. As a member of this great expedition you will travel once more into an unknown and dangerous world in the greatest undertaking in your people's history... do you have what it takes?

Author's Note: This story can be read by itself but useful background information is provided by reading Magellan 1: Race into the Great Unknown first. In an effort to try to respond to the feedback of readers I have specifically tried to create a greater interaction between the strong-willed and unique personalities of you and your fellow Captains and also changed the main character's name from Cleo to Leo to make him more... manly. I hope you enjoy reading this :)

Magellan 3: Journey to New Horizons

As you country continue to expand beyond the borders of the Great Reef into the largely unknown world of Magellan worrying news arrives: Tobias Cuthrew, the greatest sailor your people have known, has vanished while on a voyage of exploration into the West. Once more your hard-hearted monarch Queen Anne-Marie demands your services, this time to lead an expedition to find your missing comrade. But is there more to this mission that meets the eye?

Author's Note: As always thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my stories and a larger thank you to the CYOA community at large for giving me a reason to write them in the first place :) I have specifically tried to make this story less linear than the last, with four main story branches.

Magellan 4: Search for Original Ideas

Betrayed by your Queen and hunted by her allies the situation looks bleak for you and your small band of allies. But opposition to tyranny takes many forms and from small beginnings and a few great ideas is it possible you could gain the weapons you need to defeat your enemies while simultaneously protecting your defenseless allies from the vengeance of your foes? Requiring all your ingenuity you are about to embark on the greatest fight of your career!

Author's Note: This fourth installment of the series is a bit longer and more difficult than its predecessors but it ties up quite a few loose threads ready for a big finish in Magellan 5. Thanks for everyone's feedback and support so far! Please be aware teenage readers and those of a low maturity this story is a bit more X Rated than earlier stories in the series as the relationship between Leo and Naomi is... improving :). Homophobes should probably steer clear of this story too :)

Featured Story The Donner Party

In this story-game you become a member of the Donner Party.
The Donner Party were a group of about 90 men, women and children who tried traveling to their new homes in California by an unfamiliar route across the Salt Lake Desert of Utah and the Sierra Nevada Mountains but met with enough misfortunes and suffering to kill half the group and leave the remainder scarred for the rest of their lives...

The Land of Bad Writing

You knew you should not have eaten and drank so much on Christmas Day, a troubled sleep leads to a nightmare where you find yourself trapped in the worst place imaginable: The Land of Bad Writing! Will you ever escape?

Authors Note: I should point out I have assumed about twenty different author's voices to give the worst examples of bad writing as possible as a guide of how not to write. If you want to know what my usual style is like message me or read my other story-games. It is also worth pointing out this story-game isn't aimed at anyone's stories in particular but practitioners of bad writing in general.

Featured Story The Lost Expedition (1)

You are a Victorian Adventurer, a man who explores dangerous places and does dangerous things for the thrill of it. Following your recent expeditions in Africa you have been invited to the island of Marco, recently claimed by the British Government. Landing in the port of Victoria on the east side of the island you soon learn why you are there: a party of fifty men led by a certain Captain Donovan have vanished on an exploration expedition into the unknown jungle interior.
Your assignment is to find him and learn what has befallen his men, though you will be lucky if you too do not vanish from sight and knowledge beneath those deadly trees...

Author's Note: As this is the first story game I will have posted I am only posting half of it while I get used to the scripting etc. If it is not universally despised I will post the sequel Donovan's Curse (2) as soon as I have written it.

The Lost Expedition (2)

You are a Victorian Adventurer, a man who explores dangerous places and does dangerous things for the thrill of it. Following a month of searching the deadly island of Marco you have found the remnants of the lost expedition of Captain William Donovan, a renegade officer who seems to enjoy his role as adopted chief of the local Yantu Natives. You and your men now find yourself at the mercy of these dangerous and war-loving warriors... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author's Note: This is the sequel to The Lost Expedition (1), the first story-game I wrote on this site over two years ago, and my entry into the January 2017 Wilderness themed competition. I think everything I've done in these Lost Expedition stories I've done bigger and better in the Magellan stories but I'm glad Bucky's competition has given me the motivation to finish this little two-part adventure. To get the most out of this story I recommend you read The Lost Expedition (1), first, though this can be read as a stand-alone adventure.

Recent Posts

Steve demands attention! on 4/18/2017 2:40:51 AM
Ah thanks Steve, yeah I meant Return of the Jedi, I get confused by all those Jedi film titles. I like Islam, I've got a Quran, I've been in the Grand Mosque in Cairo and it's more beautiful than any Christian church I've seen even though I've visited Notre Dame and Westminster Abbey, haha I don't know anything about those five countries except that they are sunny so they have that advantage over the UK already. Thanks for the nice things you said and I really enjoy your writing too :) Yeah, I tend to stay off the Forums because I don't know what people are talking about half the time and some of the site members scare me :D Just joking, this quiz was fun though.

Steve demands attention! on 4/16/2017 11:56:23 PM
1. Well since you asked I consider myself about as Left Wing Liberal as anyone. I think people should at least have the opportunity to do whatever they want. 2. I think abortion should be 100% legal. Her body = her choice. 3. I am a level 3 Agnostic. I believe there is something superior to us out there but it is not the form of God that our limited brains have invented. 4. Homosexuality is completely fine. 5. Being a Transvestite is completely fine. 6. It reminds me of the Jenna Marbles quote "if a guy wants to marry a bag of garden peas wtf has it got to do with you? Why get upset and protest about it except because you're bored? It's not going to affect you." 7. I think immigration is fine, the talented and those interested in self-improvement will always be able to get good jobs, the lazy uninterested in self-improvement will use immigrants as a coping mechanism to blame instead of themselves for their lack of self-motivation. The world is big enough for all of us. 8. 0. I think Trump is the worst President in American History. 9. Islam is a wonderful religion that has been demonised in the Western media by constantly portraying the Islamic equivalent of the KKK at every opportunity - though extremists use it as justification for their crime throughout history Westerners used Christianity to justify slavery, the crusades, the genocide of native populations etc. Also terrorists may be pissed off that western bombs have killed countless unarmed women, children and other civilians over the last few years. 10. The Empire Strikes Back, A New Hope, The Last Jedi, The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and whatever number 3 is called. 11. Barbados, Trinidad and Tobago, Pitcairn Islands, Bermuda, St Lucia 12. I think killing someone to show that killing someone is wrong is stupid and the death penalty should be abolished. 13. Only the police and the army should have guns. That way less students would get shot every month in America. 14. I think Euthanasia should be legal, if carefully regulated.

Selfie thread on 4/11/2017 10:56:24 PM
Ah right, a reminder that this site is inhabited by real world people :D I like the photos, especially Ford's happy grin but I think too many more photos of pretty girls could probably break the site :) I would post a pic of me but I basically look like my profile pic :P

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/29/2017 10:49:29 PM
Incidentally, like the Weekly Review, this Roll of Honour might not be published so frequently due to real life distractions...

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/29/2017 10:48:55 PM


1 King MinnieKing, Ordained amongst the Sages (201 Commendations)

2 Princess TharaApples, Lauded amongst the Sages (190 Commendations)

3 Duchess Steve24833, Lauded Exemplar amongst the Sages (87 Commendations)

4 Marquis Will11, Pre-Eminent Exemplar amongst the Architects (75 Commendations)

5 Earl IronPanther, Sovereign amongst the Wardens (71 Commendations)

6 Viscount Nyctophilia, Immortal amongst the Marauders (61 Commendations)

7 Baroness mizal, Lauded amongst the Sages (49 Commendations)

8 Count StrykerL, Lauded amongst the Sages (47 Commendations)

9 Chamberlain JJJ-thebanisher, Exemplar amongst the Sages (35 Commendations)

10 Captain Crescentstar, Esteemed amongst the Architects (29 Commendations)


11 Sir Ogre11, Esteemed amongst the Architects (25 Commendations)

12 Sir ISentinelPenguinI of the Sages (21 Commendations)

13 Sir Plelb, Infrangible amongst the Wardens (20 Commendations)

14 Sir WouldntItBeNice, Notorious amongst the Marauders (15 Commendations)

15 Sir Romulus, Infrangible Exemplar amongst the Wardens (13 Commendations)


Sir LNFyle of the Sages (10 Commendations)

Sir Bucky, Infrangible amongst the Wardens (10 Commendations)

Sir Bannerlord, Esteemed amongst the Architects (9 Commendations)

Sir jep49 of the Sages (9 Commendations)

A massive congratulations to MinnieKing and TharaApples who have each earned around 100 Commendations in their private Commendations War (everyone else has hardly earned any). Their hard work with the Comments is helping improve the Site continually.

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/20/2017 3:44:29 AM
Princess is now a new achievement unique to Steve :) It's like Prince but even better... haha gotta love typos :D

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/19/2017 2:05:14 PM


1 Queen TharaApples, Ordained amongst the Sages (112 Commendations)

2 Princess Steve24833, Lauded Exemplar amongst the Sages (84 Commendations)

3 Duke Will11, Pre-Eminent Exemplar amongst the Architects (75 Commendations)

4 Marquis IronPanther, Sovereign amongst the Wardens (71 Commendations)

5 Earl MinnieKing, Lauded amongst the Sages (63 Commendations)

6 Viscount Nyctophilia, Immortal amongst the Marauders (61 Commendations)

7 Baroness mizal, Lauded amongst the Sages (48 Commendations)

8 Count StrykerL, Lauded amongst the Sages (47 Commendations)

9 Chamberlain JJJ-thebanisher, Exemplar amongst the Sages (35 Commendations)

10 Captain Crescentstar, Esteemed amongst the Architects (29 Commendations)


11 Sir Ogre11, Esteemed amongst the Architects (25 Commendations)

12 Sir ISentinelPenguinI of the Sages (18 Commendations)

13 Sir WouldntItBeNice, Notorious amongst the Marauders (15 Commendations)

14 Sir Plelb, Infrangible amongst the Wardens (14 Commendations)

15 Sir Romulus, Infrangible Exemplar amongst the Wardens (13 Commendations)


Sir LNFyle of the Sages (10 Commendations)

Sir Bucky, Infrangible amongst the Wardens (10 Commendations)

Sir Bannerlord, Esteemed amongst the Architects (9 Commendations)

Sir jep49 of the Sages (9 Commendations)

A special congratulations to TharaApples who rises to the Number One position and becomes the first person on this site to individually earn over 100 Commendations, also congratulations to MinnieKing for earning a lot of Commendations in the last week. Incidentally the Previously Noted list will extend up to ten names, after that people at the tail end will begin to "vanish"... :)

Well done to everyone for their hard work and I wonder if anyone can drive Thara off her pedestal?

No Review this week but here's a cool story on 3/16/2017 12:54:29 AM
Haha yes :D I think the Review will be published in what are effectively series, a number of editions for some months, a break of a few months, this another run of editions etc to give me a chance to streamline the review, play around with what works and doesn't work and also give everyone a period to experience the truth joy-less horror of a world without the review before returning their salvation to them :D Plus I'm really tired atm :) No Review this week or next for definite and probably not for a few months :)

Selling Out on 3/15/2017 8:37:12 AM
Well it's your game so of course it's your choice for whatever you do with it and it's always best to go with what motivates you the most :) In fairness these motivation threads on cys generally have the opposite effect because they distract people from writing and stand as a record for any missed targets which generally have a demoralising effect :P

No Review this week but here's a cool story on 3/14/2017 12:06:12 PM
Yeah, sorry about that :) Tbh I'll be a bit busy with real life for the next six months due to changing jobs, changing cities, changing apartments, two holidays to two different countries and various other stuff... apart from copying and pasting articles and contributions from Mizal and Steve it's a bit hectic to write a whole Review every week and my inspiration is running low :) I think a break for the Review for a few months again before picking it up for another run might be handy for me :D