Some stories have a message...kinda...

Additional Notes:

WARNING! (The real one)

This story is pretty offensive, it can get graphic and downright ruthless at times so if you don’t like that sort of humor, don’t read this story. But if you read it anyway don’t complain if you get offended, I did warn you and keep in mind it IS only a story.

(Or read it anyway, get offended and leave a hilariously triggered comment, that's fine too.)

Also, don't bother trying to "win" either. You can't. Just heed the moral lessons you may learn.

One musician's tale in a dying world

Additional Notes:

If you’ve read and liked Necromancer, then this might interest you as this story takes place during the same course of events of that story. (Not a prequel, not a sequel, but an equal!)

However, this story is definitely more “story” than “game”. In fact you shouldn’t even bother reading it if you’re intent on “winning”. You can’t. That being said, there is a “true ending” to this story and you’ll probably know if you get it. If you do get it, you can consider it a “win” if you like.

There are a few points in the story where there are links that lead to “Letters to Home”. While not necessary to understand the story, they do provide a little more insight into the protagonist’s thoughts and feelings on various situations.

The last hope for a dying empire

Additional notes:

This story can be very long assuming you're not dying. Years pass and your surroundings will most likely change. You may very well live a life time in the story.

As with any of my writings, the story comes before the game. However while there isn't a complex inventory and all of that, you can technically "win" by getting one of the epilogues.

There are 13 epilogues total.

There are also several points in the story where there are links that lead to more background information on various people, places, things and events. While not completely necessary to understanding the story, they do give you more insight into it.

Carnivals aren't all fun and games.

Additional Notes:

While there is only one spot that contains extra histories for this story, it's basically the background information of all the major characters and factions. It's strongly recommended that these are read due to the fact that your character will be interacting with most of these folks in his attempts to successfully accomplish his task(s).

This story has a very factional feel to it, so choose your allegiances carefully to get one of the better endings.

If you see a bright light, duck and cover!

Additional notes:

I should point out that this story can be very long assuming you're not dying. Years pass and your surroundings will most likely change. You may very well live a life time in the story if you're lucky. You will also experience a completely different adventure depending on how you escaped the initial nuclear strike. (Assuming you do survive it.)

As with any of my writings, the "story" comes before the "game". However, this story was written in a "game like" format. So while there isn't a complex inventory and all of that, you can technically "win" by getting one of the 4 special endings. (You'll know if you get one because you'll get an epilogue)

This one's for the kids, no really!

Additional Notes:

This story has clear cut win/lose endings. There is nothing excessively unusual about this story, it's just a simple "children's story".

(Yes, you can still die in it)

Running the family business isn't easy!

Additional Notes:

In a few places there are links for history or certain characters. While not necessary to understand the story, they do provide further background information.

There are several endings varying in degrees of good/bad or neutral outcomes. Technically there is one very happy ending, but it isn't labeled as such.

Underneath the sickness there's love...

Additional Notes:

WARNING!

This story contains a lot of graphic content, if you are offended by ultra violence, explicit sexual descriptions, tons of swearing, blasphemy, inappropriate dark humor, and brutal misanthropy in general then DO NOT read this story!

Of course now that I’ve mentioned all the things it contains, you’ll probably read it anyway, you sick little monkey.

Well don’t complain if you get offended, I did warn you and keep in mind it IS only a story.

(Or read it anyway knowing it'll offend you and leave an amusingly triggered comment. That's fine too.)

This also isn't really a "win/lose" type story. While there are some endings better than others, this is basically just a tale about a very twisted man and his very twisted lifestyle.

Additional Notes:

This story is definitely more "story" than "game", however there are two distinct paths that can be followed, each with their own pitfalls and additional choices. There is also "one true" ending in which can be considered a "win" (You'll know if you got it, because you'll get an epilogue)

This story can get long, and assuming you're surviving, years do pass in it and you and your environment will change. There are a few points in the story where there are links that lead to more background information on various people and things. While not completely necessary to understand the story, they do give you more insight into it. The text that accompanies some of the pics are also done for similar purposes (Your journal entries, personal thoughts, letters written to you, etc)

Humanity never changes...

Additional Notes:

There are links leading to various background information and your character's current thoughts throughout the story. In some cases these may provide greater insight since some mysterious things can occur in this story.

There are also several endings varying in degrees of good/bad/neutral outcomes. Technically there is one ultimate "winning" ending, but it isn't labeled as such.

Emotions can be wonderful or dangerous...

Additional Notes:

This story has a few bits that are probably a bit on the disturbing side. Not many, but they are there in places. So if you don't like that sort of thing, you probably shouldn't read it.

This story in general is probably a bit odd and less verbose than most of my other stories. There are also several endings varying in degrees of good/bad/neutral outcomes. While there are some endings better than others, this is basically just the tale of a teenager who definitely has some issues.

From humble beginning to infamy and beyond!

Additional notes:

This story is a fully self contained one and can easily be read on its own, however it also acts as a "sequel" to Innkeeper.

As with any of my writings, the story comes before the game. However while there isn't a complex inventory and all of that, you can technically "win" by getting one of the 12 epilogues.

Things would be so much easier if your name was Mary Sue

Additional notes:

This story is a fully self contained one and can easily be read on its own, however it also acts as:

A direct sequel to the "Good Girl" short story in Tales From The Basement.

A semi sequel to the other TFTB short stories, Repression, TRASH, Love SICK and Geek.

A semi prequel to Ground Zero.

As with any of my writings, the story comes before the game. However while there isn't a complex inventory and all of that, you can still "win" by getting one of the epilogues.

There are 16 epilogues total.

Because Basement Dwellers are people too!

Additional Notes:

This story is three stories in one. Your first choice will lead to a separate tale of a different “basement dweller”. Each one is mostly different in tone.

Ebay Escapist is weird and random. It’s the least verbose of the three. (Or my stories in general)

Good Girl is the longest and most descriptive of the three. There is some weirdness going on here too, but is mostly kept much more in "reality". There is a cast of characters link in the beginning to help you keep up with who’s who.

Anime Addict has a lot of offensive language and humor, so if you don't like that sort of thing you shouldn’t read this one.

In all the tales there are several endings varying in degrees of good/bad/neutral outcomes. While there are some endings better than others, these are basically just tales of basement dwellers.

It's an edgelord boogaloo!

Additional Notes:

This story is three stories in one where it follows a different protagonist based on the first choice.

This story is also probably really offensive or something. Probably shouldn't read it if that's not your thing, but feel free to do so anyway and complain loudly in the comments since those are always good for a laugh.

Anyway, there's your extra warning. You can't say you weren't told.

Incel Insanity and Whining Wokie are all new tales, while Film Fanatic is a "reboot" of sorts of an older story called Exploitation Theater. Yes, it's finally here and been greatly expanded on.

As always the story is always more important than the game focus, but also as always, you definitely can get better endings than others.

Three ladies. Three legends.

Additional notes:

This story is a fully self contained one and can easily be read on its own, however it also acts as a connection to Rogues, Eternal and Necromancer.

As with any of my writings, the story comes before the game. However there is an epilogue for each "winning" ending.

Yee Haw! It's a trailer park life for me!

Additional Notes:

This story has a ton of offensive langauge and humor so if you don't like that sort of thing, you probably shouldn't read it. Though given the setting, the language used is pretty accurate.

This also isn't really a "win/lose" type story. While there are some endings better than others, this is basically just a tale about a typical day of a degenerate that lives in a trailer park.

So the first issue of RIP didn’t actually have an additional short story in it. Maybe they hadn’t decided yet if the entire comic was going to be dedicated to their main tale. Guess they decided that the comic needed a bit of variety.

Onward to the short stories.

Shelf Life

Yep, when you wake up as just a head in a jar in an empty room, you know you’re fucked.

So Dr. Jeremy wakes up in a pretty horrible situation though he’s more confused than scared. The main thing he’s wondering about is why there are no technicians around or anyone for that matter. He tries to speak and finds that he is able as the machine he’s connected to does some sort of voice synthesizer, so he probably sounds all cool and robotic which is at least one plus. 

He’s also confused on why the hell he’s awake when they were supposed to only do that when they’d have a body to give him. 

“For 5 mill, they could have at least given me a clock.”

You get a small flashback of when he was still in one piece and talking to the media one last time. He mentions that he’s liquidated all his assets and heading straight to Cryonics Inc. to get frozen because he’s got incurable brain cancer. When asked why he’s just getting his head frozen he says that the 5 mill will easily cover his head AND give him some bonus contingency options! 

And also in the future if medicine has advanced in a way to cure his brain cancer then it will easily be able to give him a new body too.

I gotta say right now that this is an incredibly optimistic idea on the part of the doctor, in fact it’s optimistic to the point of retarded. Well he did have brain cancer I suppose.

He starts trying to think about other things from the past because his current situation is hellish. Soon a man enters the room by the name of Darv. His real name is actually longer like a Mexican which he probably is since there’s a “Vasquez” in part of it when he give it out, but his mestizo status isn’t really important other than how mixed race everyone is in the FUTURE.

Jeremy asks what’s going on and all that, and Darv explains to him that there are no doctors or anything like that around in this facility. Dar is the only “caretaker” of the place and that 90 years have passed. Jeremy is a little surprised that it took that long to cure him, but Darv mentions that they cured him 40 years ago. So now Jeremy figures that they don’t have the medical means of giving him a new body, though Darv says that giving him a new body is entirely possible. However 5 mill doesn’t buy what it used to buy in the 90s, the US dollar crashed hard in 2022 and now America is a source of cheap labor for the rest of the world and its paying off a HUGE fucking national debt. (Always interesting to see what doom and gloom old scifi tales predict. Huge national debt is always a safe bet though) so he’s going to now need another 200 MILLION to get one. 

Jeremy asks how the hell he’s supposed to raise that amount while he’s a head in a jar, Darv mentions there’s a reporter waiting to see him and maybe he should talk to her. Lacking any other plan, Jeremy agrees.

The news lady is black, but she’s got the last name “Mckinlev” (More race mixing, Jeremy’s the last pure white guy lol) She asks him how he feels about being the pioneer of legalized suicide, mass freezing, and state sponsored euthanasia. (Wait, I thought suicide was always legal, I mean even if it wasn’t what are they going to do, give you the death penalty?) Also that hundreds of others followed his lead. 

Jeremy soon learns that while he was the first frozen head, he wasn’t the first to be awakened. There’s already been about ten others before him. The first one did the best since she was the first to wake up and tap into the whole history thing so she got a body. The second guy who woke up did alright and he just barely got a new body, by the third one nobody gave a shit anymore, just another head in a jar. (Yeah they just let them die, lol)

So he mentions he’s the first head frozen, which she says sure but it’s not worth 200 million. He mentions that he was one of the best neurosurgeons in the world (Well if you were so great, why couldn’t you cure your own brain cancer?) and her response is yeah all that shit’s done by robots now that don’t make errors or at least for rich folks and he’s 90 years out of date anyway. And it’s no use playing the history angle because the other heads already tapped that well dry. Plus the new generation of SUPER ZOOMERS are stuck paying off all this debt and don’t like hearing about the old days about how people had it easy. (Okay pretty much nailed that prediction)

Jeremy begs her to raise the money and she’s like this isn’t Lithuania (Lol, okay they threw that one in there just to be absurd) Americans don’t have a shitload of money anymore, but she’ll see what she can do.

With the reporter leaving, Darv mentions he’ll be on his way too. Jeremy asks how much time he has left and Darv mentions with the way the economy is looking, six days. Best not to think about it too much.

So besides feeling hatred towards Darv since he sees him a smug bastard, Jeremy spends the next six days thinking about all the cool shit he used to be able to do when he had a body. Eat delicious food, fuck his model girlfriend, enjoy his convertible sports car, etc. He’s going out of his mind which is extra bad since that’s about all he has. 

Six days pass and the only reason Jeremy knows that is because Darv comes back to shut his machine off. Jeremy is pissed saying he’s got the right to live, but Darv says it’s really nothing personal, it’s just how economics works and that he won’t feel a thing.

Just then Mckinlev comes rushing in saying she’s managed to raise 20 million and put it into Jeremy’s account so to take his hand of the button. Jeremy asks how long will it take for her to raise the rest, which now pisses off Mckinlev that it was lucky that she managed to raise that much for him the least he could have done was say thanks. She then leaves saying she’s lost interest so not to bother trying to ask for her help anymore.

Darv mentions he’s pretty busy so he’ll be back to check on Jeremy in about another month and also makes his exit. All of this leaving Jeremy how he started: A head in a jar in an empty room, except now he’s definitely feeling something different than confusion which is a desire to be put out of his misery.

Yep, it’s like a scifi version of Johnny Got His Gun

One thing I do wonder about though regardless of all the other shit going on, is why the hell would they freeze his head with his glasses on? Or did they just put them back on after curing his brain cancer and putting his head in the jar. Maybe that was the extra bonus that his 5 mill bought. (It wasn’t worth it)

Next story…

Power User

Alright this one starts off with a couple in some nice neighborhood, Ben and Sandy. Ben finds a delivery van outside his home and it’s the computer he ordered. 

This one will be getting a few more pictures since I actually thought about posting this whole thing before, but I’ll jump around on the story pics a bit since I’ll still be doing the play by play as it were.

Holy shit, 300 Megabyte Hard Disk AND 16 bit VGA graphics!

I think the most amusing part of this story is the technology aspect since this won’t be the only time in the story where something sounds really advanced, but looking back on it now is of course hilarious.

So as you can see Ben is pretty pre-occupied with his super duper elite home computer to the point where he’s beginning to ignore his girlfriend (Well this one predicted the future a little more accurately in that aspect) The program that he runs called “Runme” doesn’t actually do anything so they head to the movies, but while they’re gone the computer program starts doing stuff and it’s apparent that Ben has installed some sort of primitive AI into his computer which now has on the screen “Use Me”

Cuts to Ben on another day canceling a date with Sandy because he’s busy with his computer. Sandy’s not happy about this and asks what the hell he’s exactly planning on doing with the computer anyway, which is followed by the computer screen saying “Improve Me”

One week later Ben’s making his own power glove (Because fuck Nintendo’s monopoly)

A 1.5 GIGAbyte external hard drive AND a CD rom drive? An optical mouse? Who could dream of such technological wonders?

Surprisingly as pissed as Sandy is about Ben spending all the savings on new computer shit, she’s actually more concerned about what’s going on with him. This manages to snap him out of his autistic computer obsession for a moment, but he tells her she just doesn’t understand which she replies that she is NOT going to let that computer come between them before storming off.

At this point the computer screen now says “Protect Me”. When Ben asks how, the computer responds with “Uninterruptible Power Supply”

So Now Ben’s on the phone with a computer supply place demanding the best power supply they got and that he needs one that supplies power for at least 48 hours regardless of what happens. They explain they got stuff like that, but they’re really expensive, but he doesn’t give a shit, so he orders it. And now the computer screen says “Join Me”

Cut to several days later and Sandy is banging on Ben’s door shouting what’s happened to them, he tells her to go away and that there is no “Us” anymore as things have changed.

And they change even more in a body horror sort of way…

Nigga really understood the WEAKNESS OF HIS FLESH

So despite Ben now cosplaying as one of the Adeptus Mechanicus, Sandy does NOT actually run away in horror, she instead tries to somehow help by getting the wires and shit off of him. Of course she soon realizes it’s no use since he’s fucking fused everything to his body or wrapped it within himself.

All this causes Ben to do is give her a nasty electric shock and tell her she’s obsolete since he’s been upgraded.

Once again Sandy tries to reason with him, but he’s more machine than man at this point…

So…

And that’s how the Borg came to be

Anyway, like I said I was going to post this one on Valentine’s Day, but I went with that other cartoon choice instead which apparently only Cricket bothered to look at because she’s a good daughter.

Also this is the opposite of the succubus story since it proves that not all women are scheming soul sucking monsters, there are good ones out there that are more than willing to ride with you down the path of insanity and beyond. You just gotta find them, don’t give up hope!

Next story...

Communicable

And for this one I’m not really going to bother with pics since it’s more wordy and doesn’t have anything cool like driving a butcher knife through the forearm. In fact this story is rather meh compared to the other two, or at least I always thought so. However, it does have something rather amusing that happens later, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

This starts off with weird little boy called Jack in a doctor’s office and his obviously overbearing mother going on about how he’s got some dreaded disease. The doc tries to calm her down saying he’s not sick and that she overreacts all the time when Jack gets so much as a sniffle. The whole story is told a bit in a “protagonist reflecting about his past” situation

So Jack’s in bed a lot because his mom is a nut job who thinks he’s sick all the time. However, she’s right at least one time when he had a really bad flu during the summer when he was 12. Even the doctor didn’t think he was going to make it. This is when he started to actually hear the germs in his system basically taunting him and wondering if they should kill him or not and humans in general since they just see all of us as cattle.

As he gets older he starts telling others that he “hears the germs” which now makes him just look crazy on top of everything else. His mom is still keeping him in bed a lot. One wonders how the fuck he graduates from high school, let alone college. 

Eventually he goes to work for Vector which is a place that specializes in disease and germ research and Jack apparently is a whiz in the whole gene splicing field. 

What Jack ends up doing is “curing the flu” by splicing some of the flu virus with a cure for it. He mentions it’s a general antidote, but his fellow scientists aren’t so convinced and want more tests done, but he’s already gone ahead and done tests on himself. It doesn’t really explain it, but its assumed that he’s also doing some splicing of his own DNA to get this cure, since well he HAS had every fucking flu under the sun, so he’s actually pretty immune to such things by now or he’s immune enough that he’s more of a “carrier” rather than feeling any effects by them. 

Like I said, it’s all a bit unclear, but he’s trying to “trap” the germs/viruses so he can speak with them and make them understand that humanity aren’t “cattle”.

In any case, while he might be immune to the flu, his closest buddy isn’t and the germs attack him instead and they’re a lot more powerful now. (I should mention there are little places throughout the story where the germs ARE speaking

Thinking that he’s on the right path Jack next wants to do the same thing with fucking AIDS. First thing he hears is AIDS isn’t like the flu since despite how deadly it is it isn’t as communicable so it’s harder to track. Yes, there’s medicine keeping degenerates alive past their expiration date NOW, but back when this was written, full blown AIDS was considered nothing to fuck with (Literally). Jack is undeterred and gets permission from his boss to start experimenting with AIDS.

And yes, you already guessed it, this genius injects himself with the fucking AIDS virus. In fact, it’s sort of suggested that he injected himself with the shit before he even got permission for this project. Meanwhile he’s still got the flu running around in his system that he’s spreading around but not feeling any effects from. 

Combine that with AIDS and he’s managed to now create SUPER AIDS that IS communicable through the fucking air. 

Well he mentions this at some fancy science gathering and his fellow scientist is horrified to learn that Jack’s injected himself with AIDS, though Jack thinks he’s winning somehow. Lol.

With SUPER AIDS now coursing through his body he believes its a situation that “He’s not trapped with SUPER AIDS, SUPER AIDS is trapped with him!” And now they HAVE to talk to him. 

Well that goes about as well as you’d expect, once again meaning not at all.

Cut to the next scene and Jack’s looking pretty damn bad off as he watches TV. His boss calls him up saying his fellow researcher is dead and his family has been quarantined. His boss begins to exclaim that the damn flu cure is what did this, but Jack corrects his boss saying it’s worse than the flu, that it’s AIDS and then says he lost. (No shit, you injected yourself with AIDS you fucktard)

Next he babbles about how he thought the germs couldn’t hear him, but they tricked him because they were listening to everything he was saying. Meanwhile he’s seeing a giant germ face mocking him and saying “cattle” before he passes out.

Shows him next on a bed in the hospital dying of SUPER AIDS. Later the doctor that was checking him out is leaving and mentions to someone else about how he had to order 50 AIDS tests that day. After some back and forth about maybe wearing hazmat suits and the stats for AIDS going up, the doc says that they shouldn’t go overboard with protection since AIDS doesn’t communicate that easily. 

Last scene is the doc wishing his cold would go away and then seeing a black germ face on his windshield saying “cattle”.

And that’s a wrap for that story.

Okay, next post whenever I get around to it will be the second main story arc of the RIP series. Stay tuned! 

Alright I’m going to split the reviews up a little differently. I’ll go over an entire main story arc for a comic series and then the following post I’ll do all the little one off stories in another post. Then I’ll repeat a similar process with the rest of these.

RIP Story Arc 1-4: Dead Connection

To be fair I suppose the comic never actually SAID it was going to be a zombie story just because it had some walking corpses on the cover.

First off I should mention that this arc doesn’t even really have a title of sorts other than “RIP”. I’m calling it the Dead Connection though for the sake of labeling things and the fact that this whole thing starts out with a show like Love Connection which was a dating game show back in the 80s-90s (And this y’know involves dead people)

Alright so first issue starts off with a nameless gameshow host crawling around with his guts spilling out and his face half hacked open. He soon learns after speaking with some other corpses roaming around, he’s dead and this is the afterlife. He also realizes someone has killed him though he doesn’t know who it was.

Putting this altogether, one of the corpses tell him that the current place they all are is a sort of Limbo where they just wait around forever. However, you can rest in peace if you get revenge on the one who killed you.

So he heads back to the land of the living as a ghost where he starts doing some investigating. It should also be mentioned he’s pretty much making snarky wisecracks and being sarcastic whenever’s he’s talking (Which is usually to himself)

Upon going back to his game show, he sees they’ve already replaced him and the woman (Loray) that was on the show the night he died is back on it and she’s picking yet another guy on it. He’s not even the one the audience voted for (They voted for the Chad football player) but he’s more what Loray is looking for which is he’s a lonely below average looking single rich guy that works on Wall Street.

Well it doesn’t take long to find out that Loray isn’t just an ordinary gold digging hussy, she’s a succubus on a mission. There’s this whole coven of succubi scheming for world domination by turning various powerful men into their slaves. Using the dating game is just one of their ways of hooking up with these men.

And yes, this DOES sound like a very silly way to go about this plan for world domination via simps, but let’s just go with it.

So she enslaves Michael who then starts telling all his other lonely buddies to go on the show to hook with succubi, though oddly Loray seems to be the only one currently working this angle so she keeps going on the show, claiming she has a contract to appear on there a bunch of times.

How does this tie in with the game show host’s murder? Well he just sort of figures that Loray must be behind it somehow so he starts following her and Michael around trying to learn more. Keep in mind that he can’t actually be heard or seen by anyone. So he’s basically just ranting a lot of times in frustration about how he hates being dead and telling Michael to snap out of it.

Eventually he DOES manage to sort of get through to him causing Michael to start “rebelling” a bit from his succubus seduction, though it’s not really clear if that’s due to the game show host’s ghost powers weakly having an effect or the succubus just stretching the limits of her own powers due to all the men she’s been seducing and controlling.

So Michael stops simping to the point where he begins to start getting jealous and angry that his succubus girlfriend is still going out with other dudes on the game show. Not wishing to be a cuck any longer he barges in on her while she’s in the middle of sucking another guy’s…soul. She’s pissed about Michael not being a good little simp and knowing his place, so she beats the shit out of him in her succubus form which definitely isn’t “waifu” material (Well I’m sure it still would be to some) and leaves him for dead.

However, Michael isn’t quite dead yet and he manages to drag his ass to the game show studio and interrupting the show screaming that she’s a monster, killed people and all that.

Now what she does next isn’t the brightest move if you’re in a secret society, instead of say playing innocent and just saying she doesn’t know what this obviously crazy man is talking about, she ends up transforming right on fucking camera in front of a live studio audience talking about how mistakes on camera can’t be corrected. Well no shit you dumb demonic bitch, you just made a huge one by exposing yourself.

Anyway she finishes off Michael in a gruesome way (You see his ribs getting pulled out, meanwhile ghost host is yelling at Michael saying he isn’t going to just let some succubus kick his ass like that is he) In his final death moments Michael manages to pull a huge hot light down on her setting her on fire and killing her. (Meanwhile she’s saying in her own dying moments that this will stop nothing)

You see Ghost Host cheering that “his side” won, while the audience snaps out of their shock and start clapping, believing that all of this is part of the show (While mentioning somewhere a TV executive smiles knowing this is going to be the highest rated episode ever)

You then get an epilogue of Ghost Host still in the 50s Diner Limbo since the succubus wasn’t the one who killed him. He’s a bit down about it, but another dead one explains he gets a few more chances at getting revenge before he goes into the SHAME pit forever. Just then the Loray comes walking into the diner a little confused about her situation. She then recognizes Ghost Host saying that he was the one who got chopped up and if he’s here then this must mean she’s dead too.

He starts questioning her on who had him killed, but she says she doesn’t know and it wouldn’t be her group since he wouldn’t have been important enough to bother because they focus on upwardly mobile men of power. Game show hosts are a dime a dozen. She then goes on about how they have this major plan to have their agents in key locations on Wall Street and how Silicon Valley is next and how its going to be glorious, she then laments that she just wish she was still alive to see it.

Despite being told that it wasn’t her coven of demonic dominatrixes, the ghost host still believes that someone in this succubus conspiracy must know something, so his next step is heading to Silicon Valley for his next shot at revenge.

Issue 2

Hawt.

So this one starts off with Ghost Host helpfully explaining the “rules” to Limbo to a recently run over jogger, before he goes on his next trip to revengeville.

As expected this one picks up in Silicon Valley where the succubus group are feeding on some dude and giving some helpful exposition while doing it or at least the head succubus bitch is. She goes on to say that there’s three stages of feedings. One gets them under their power, but still keeps them somewhat independent so they can do stuff on their own. Second drains them to the point of only being good enough as mindless thugs and soldiers while the third just wastes them away to husks.

Despite all this, some are still able to resist, but they just kill them in that case. Also it shows they own an insane asylum where they can just pop in and feed as much as they want to sustain their immortality.

So at this point, it’s sort of going on the idea that in THIS world at least, succubi are more like vampires rather than demons from hell. Though it still sort of doesn’t make it clear if they’re from some hell domain. One would think not considering Loray didn’t go back to hell when she got killed she got sent to Limbo though even that is a bit odd since going by “the rules” of that place. You go there when your soul isn’t at peace. She got killed by Michael with a parting death blow, so it isn’t like she’d be able to get revenge on him though maybe she’s just eternally damned to the place or something.

I dunno, it’s a dumb horror comic, why the fuck are you expecting logic?

So bringing it back to our Ghost Host protagonist, he literally doesn’t give a fuck if the succubi take over the world, all he wants to know is if they’re the ones that were involved in killing him and then while making his point he ends up ghostly touching the head succubus who then recoils exclaiming that she felt a cold presence like they were being spied on. One her underlings says she felt it too. So now we’ve established that Ghost Host does have influence on the earthly realm after all.

So this one mostly revolves around some computer nerds George and Mark. Mark looks more like a traditional Virgin nerd, yet he’s got the girlfriend Janice. Meanwhile George looks more like a Chad, but he’s going on that “Love and Marriage” game show that the succubi are using to pick up dudes. (Again, this seems like a really convoluted plan, seriously they could easily just meet these guys the old fashioned way a lot quicker) There’s some nerd talk about computer security and the game show is brought up, but Janice doesn’t seem too happy that George is going on it. (Also brought up is how there was a monster that attacked on the show in New York, but it’s all been dismissed as a publicity stunt)

Cut to Mark later calling out his girlfriend Janice that he knows damn well that she’s been looking at George and doesn’t really love him. Janice tries to explain that she really wanted it to work out between them, but well she can’t help being a whore. She says she’s moving out and Mark in a major simp move exclaims that he still wants to be friends which Janice accepts because it’s always a good idea to have dick in a jar just in case of an emergency.

Janice moves out and excitedly goes to tell George who apparently went on the dating show and is now acting pretty strangely. He’s hostile towards Janice and exclaims he’s busy working. Janice is upset since her whore plan isn’t working out like she thought it was going to, then she also notices that George is transferring private info to another place that he’s not supposed to be doing.

Cut back to the succubi where one of them is going on about how this was a good plan since he’s giving them vital information, though the head succubus doesn’t like this plan. Apparently Angelica (The succubus who went out on the date with George) soul sucked him twice in one night (Because he resisted a bit) which is risky since it can turn the dude into an Incubus and you can’t have a proper girls’ coven if you got horny demon dudes now running around in it. (Plus letting transforms humans into the inner circle isn’t what the head succubus wants)

It all comes to a head when George is tired of Janice interfering with his work and he just transforms into his incubus form chasing after her, exclaiming that she will be his forever and to not resist him. After narrowly escaping and stabbing George in the eye, naturally, she goes running back to Mark to save her. (See? Keeping the dick in the jar for an emergency WAS needed sooner than she thought!)

A scuffle ensues and George probably could have easily killed Mark, but he’s so HORNY for Janice that he can’t even be bothered to finish him off before trying to RAEP Janice.

George starts going on about how long he’s waited to fuck Janice and how Mark won’t stand in his way. Mark still can’t believe all of this is real and half believes that he’s dreaming, but if it is a dream, he’s going to be the hero in it and manages to kill George by slicing his wings and then shoving him through broken glass shards.

So now Angelica has lost her link, though with some encouragement, the head succubus tells her that she can still control his body like a puppet, which she starts to do resulting in some body horror where George’s dead succubus carcass is unleashing its intestines to act as ropes to try to capture Mark and Janice. Around this point Mark tries to access George’s computer to learn where he was sending the info to so he can find out who is behind all this. He gets the info and he and Janice are soon being chased by most of the office where they work now since the succubi have already taken over most of them to use as soldiers.

Mark runs over George and his wacky intestine rodeo, but the succubus slaves manage to rip Janice out of the car. Mark just screams that he’ll be back for her which is funny though realistically leaving her behind was about the only thing he could do.

He heads back home and manages to get the exact address of where the info was sent and heads over there with a pistol in hand. There’s a short monolog by Mark about how he JUST bought the thing since being a liberal faggot guns were against everything he stood for, but as any real american knows you ALWAYS need a gun. Meanwhile Ghost Host is saying to just get on with blasting the succubitches back to hell.

He goes in the house seeing a bunch of succubi doing some sort of feeding ritual with Janice while the head succ is saying how she’ll enjoy being one of them. (Oh sure head succ made a big deal about not wanting humans into the inner circle, but she’s alright with it as long as they’re fellow vaginia havers. Women go an’ figure ‘em!)

Mark goes into supreme gentleman mode and starts mowing down the succubi, including the head succ who gets a bullet in her dome. Ghost Host is cheering him on the entire time until one of the succubi manages to tackle Mark knocking the gun out of his hand. It’s at this point things look grim until Ghost Host is so frustrated by this situation he wonders if he can move things like a poltergeist. He focuses really hard and sure enough he manages to move the gun and shoot the succubus attacking Mark. (Making Mark briefly wonder who shot her)

The surviving succubi at this point fly away and Mark goes to untie Janice saying how much he loves her and that how this time everything between them will be better. Janice exclaims that she loves Mark too, but wishes that he’d saved her in time. He’s confused by this until Janice explains she’s already been turned just as he soon will be and promptly soul sucks him.

Ghost Host is now lamenting that not only did he go through all this just to get an unhappy ending, but apparently Mark didn’t manage to kill any of the succubi that were directly involved in his death so he’s wasted another chance at revenge.

Issue 3

This doesn't actually happen anywhere in the comic, but it's still a cool cover

Okay so next one begins with an introduction to a Bruce Campbell knock off called Brad Gorman, except he’s not as cool since he doesn’t like the B-movies he’s playing in and feels he’s better than all that. Shows an obviously evil studio executive called Pressner that offers Brad a deal and to meet him later.

Cut to the next scene of this same exe with a bunch of women (More succs) doing some sort of ritual to summon some sort of demon spirit who is pissed that they keep summoning him for minor shit. He reassures them that Brad will be famous, so getting him under their control will be a good thing for their world domination plans.

Ghost Host is spying on all this and now he’s starting to wonder if the succs were actually behind his murder, he’s REALLY sure that they were so he questions the demon spirit that’s done with the succ collect call. After harassing the demon spirit long enough, eventually the DS decides that he isn’t being paid enough in souls and the succs still owe him for shit they haven’t paid yet, so in order to get rid of Ghost Host he tells them about the Brad situation.

So Ghost Host follows up on the Brad lead, keep in mind he’s STILL working on a hunch. There’s still no damn proof of anything and he could be very well wasting his chances at revenge.

Brad shows up to Pressner’s studio where he’s met with several half naked women and how this is his audition. He’s all for it at first, but then he starts feeling weird and starts asking about what’s his motivation, what’s the plot and script and then finally if this is a porn movie, because he doesn’t do porn.

Ghost Host is watching all this from Limbo in a broken down TV shop and in comic book logic without actually explaining how, he is actually able to appear on the screens in the real world at Brad’s “audition”. (Something about how him being a game show host on TV in life is implied) From there he directly warns Brad that he needs to get the fuck out of there right now lest he gets his soul sucked. Brad isn’t exactly sure what’s going on, but he’s creeped out by the whole situation enough that he escapes immediately. This pisses off the succubi of course and they nearly kill Pressner, but he manages to grovel enough that he lives for now.

Brad’s hiding out in another section of the studio, specifically Pressner’s office looking for a gun saying that all wimps like him usually own one to PROVE THEIR MANHOOD. Instead he finds files of the Love and Marriage show that look important considering how they were hidden. And now Ghost Host manages to appear once again on a TV in the office and rather than being a “kindly guide” that’s explaining the situation he’s a complete dick that starts insulting Brad immediately, calling him “jerk-toast” and mentioning that getting soul sucked into a zombie wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for Brad. (And then explains everything)

Meanwhile the succubi are calling upon their soul sucked actors to search the studio for Brad. However Pressner figures it out that Brad’s hiding in his own office since the lights are off in it and he always leaves the lights on due to being scared of the dark. Idiotically however instead of telling his succubi masters immediately, he goes to confront Brad directly and THEN calls security.

Brad easily dispatches Pressner by throwing him out the window where he splats on the ground which then alerts the lynch mob looking for him. So the next few pages are Brad monologging in his head about his situation and the various movies he’s done. He kills all the succubi chasing him on various sets he’s worked on. One gets killed by an animatronic giant octopus that drowns her (There’s actually a bit where Brad is confused on how she can fly over running water and she tells him “That’s vampires you fool!”) Another gets laser blaster by some robots on a scifi set with Brad mentioning that he once complained that the effects were too realistic.

The last one corners him in the costume room and she does the dumb villain thing of gloating about how she’s going to kill him until he manages to get away from her long enough to grab a rubber arm to smack her in the head with which causes her to fall off the platform they’re both on and into a big vat of polyurethane.

Final scene is Brad hitchhiking on some desolate road and mentioning that the files he found contain all the places the succubi have hit and the next stop is DC. Ghost Host is around cheering his fortune that finally he’s picked someone that has lived this time.

Issue 4

I like how the succubus on the covers don't look anything like the demonic monsters in the actual comic

So this starts right away with Brad in DC and confronting a senator called Clayton who has agreed to see him despite no appointment since she’s a big fan of his movies. He brings up the Love and Marriage show files and mentions that her name is on one of the faxes.

She expresses surprise and accuses this of all being a publicity stunt while showing him out. He keeps trying to explain himself, but things get worse when he recognizes one of the succubi from the “audition” and she recognizes him as well. Doesn’t take long before the senator also transforms into her natural form and they try to stop him from escaping.

He manages to get to a public area, bumping into a bunch of other male senators and then going on about the succubus conspiracy. Clayton and her fellow succ come around the corner in their human forms and she makes up a story about how this homeless man just started ranting at her about this odd tale (Brad isn’t in the best looking condition right now given he’s been travelling all the way from the west coast)

So they all decide the best thing to do is have him thrown into a mental institution since that’s where crazy people should go, plus the succ like to keep folks in there anyway until they have time to take care of them properly.

Ghost Host is pretty frustrated by all this, especially when he sticks around long enough around Clayton and her cronies discussing that they’ll take care of Brad like they took care of that “Dolt who originally hosted Love and Marriage” (Nope, you still don’t learn his real name)

Finally this bit of really lucky random gloating vindicates Ghost Host’s suspicions that the succubi had him killed (Specifically the Senator) though he’s confused on why she did except she mentions he saw something he shouldn’t have despite the fact that he has no idea what the fuck it was he supposedly saw.

Yep, Ghost Host’s murder (and reveal of the murderer) are in the scheme of things a really “Shit happens” sort of thing. He never saw anything and the succubi just thought he did and had him killed. Whoops!

Meanwhile Brad’s locked up in a mental asylum where he’s trying to figure out on how to escape along with noticing that it’s run very strangely with the staff weighing people everyday and making comments about someone being too skinny or needing to fatten up. It’s sort of implied the whole mental asylum part of the larger plan involves rounding up the homeless as the source of an easy meal whenever the succubi get hungry.

Surprisingly despite being somewhat of a security concern for the succubi, Brad isn’t really confined very tightly. The guards beat him occasionally and he’s not allowed to leave, but it’s not like he’s in a straight jacket drugged up and in a dark cell in the basement. Hell, his cell isn’t even all that bad in the scheme of things.

Eventually Brad manages to get out just by breaking a regular window with some obviously weak ass bars on it by throwing a weighing scale through it. (Who knew?) He also does this when he sees a senator arriving at the facility for election reasons or some shit. Brad remembered that this guy was there when he was trying to escape the succubi earlier and that he looked a little convinced by his story even then, or at least intrigued by it.

Brad babbles his mad tale to him once again while guards are already rushing to collect him. He’s apparently convincing enough that this senator does want to take a look around inside the place though the senator’s assistant isn’t as keen on that idea. The senator starts walking around and he smells something off. His assistant tries to stop him from going into the kitchen and he does so anyway where he finds a bunch of soul sucked staff chopping up the patients for succubus dinner.

The senator is immediately killed by his assistant who reveals that (Surprise!) she was another succ. Brad kills her with a knife while she’s occupied eating the senator then he makes his bloody escape stabbing all the succ slaves along the way until he reaches the senator’s limo where he threatens the driver to take him to a gala that Clayton is supposed to be at. Ghost Host has caught back up with him and manages to suggest (Though ghostly advice) a disguise so he can at least get inside the gala without getting shot. Brad rips off the hairpiece of the limo driver and messes it up a bit to look “raggedy”

Well, simple glasses worked for Superman as a disguise. It’s a fucking comic book, don’t think about it too hard.

Clayton is there being applauding for taking steps towards solving the homeless problem, Brad manages to get in claiming he’s one of the homeless (Who they’ve graciously allowed to attend this fancy thing presumably as examples of “the good work”) She’s going on about opening more homeless shelters and such and then Brad manages to take one of the guns away from one of the guards and riddles Clayton full of bullets like a gangsta.

At this point everyone else is in panic mode running for cover or drawing their own guns on Brad (who has surprisingly not been shot) Ghost Host is absolutely ecstatic though with the one who ordered his death now also dead. He cheers on Brad saying that he’s probably going to get his head blown off, but he’s certainly got his gratitude!

Fortunately for Brad, Clayton turns back into her natural succubus form soon after her death which then prompts a last moment attack by the other succubi in the room and they promptly get filled full of lead for their efforts. For all their plans of secrecy they have a real problem of throwing it away when things don’t go completely according to plan. I mean presumably these ladies COULD have escaped in the mayhem and regrouped in a coven somewhere.

This last bit sparks another congratulation from Ghost Host that Brad managed to also survive all this and then Ghost Host starts disappearing from the real world assuming he’s fulfilled his revenge mission.

You then get a small epilogue which has the new reports stating how Brad is a big star now especially after exposing the succubus plan. However it also shows another succubus elsewhere setting up a new plan involving children. Hey this comic already predicted the whole democrat/lizard people/satanic/pedo conspiracy long before Alex Jones!

Meanwhile Ghost Host finds himself back in Limbo, wondering why he’s still there until a shining light and voice from above calls him out and tells him to stop whining. Ghost Host asks if this is God and God relies that yes it’s him and they call him “Mr. Heaven” up there. He also says that Ghost Host did a good job of getting revenge even if he made a lot of noise along the way. As a reward he gets his own condo in heaven. Turns out God is just as snarky and wisecracking as Ghost Host.

Last scene is Ghost Host ascending to heaven asking if he can host his own game show up there.

Fin.

I remember liking this story a lot when I was a teenager, mostly due to all the blood and gore in it naturally. Upon the long “older” look on it now, yeah I still don’t mind it, though some of the stuff in it would probably be considered really “Red Pill” nowadays and spark wokie outrage. Which if anything makes it more amusing.

There isn’t a single main female character that ISN’T a soul sucking succubus! They’re ALL preying upon a bunch of nerds, lonely dudes and even dumb Chads for their evil conspiracy. No man is safe!

Hell, even the one female character that doesn’t start out as a succubus, Janice from the second issue, falls into the whole thing of “Not appreciating a good guy and going for the more masculine Chad type" (Though not completely stereotypical since he is still a fucking nerd working with computers, he’s just got the “jock looks”) Later of course she turns into a succubus or as the incel crowd might say her natural form. Lol.

All the main male protagonists in it are fairly noble or don’t have any major flaws other than maybe being a little slow on what these ladies REALLY have in store for them. Hell the last one who survives is called BRAD, just a few letters away from Chad, coincidence? Of course not!

So yeah I kind of get the idea that the guy who wrote this one MIGHT have had a bad relationship break up around that time or in the past. (Maybe several) Probably was cursing women the entire time he was writing it, but hey it all makes for a good story right?

Or at least more entertaining ones. Besides once again, it’s a fucking comic book, getting triggered over something like that is silly.

I'd say the bigger story problem was the Ghost Host's revenge plan since as I mentioned a few times he really is going in blind and just assuming the succubi are behind it for most of the story. Of course his hunch paid off, but it was pretty random how the senator just decided to blab about it at the right time he heard it.

Seems like there was the whole "dead guy getting revenge so he could rest in peace" idea, but then the main writer just wanted to make something about these scheming succubitches. Well I guess it worked out if a little slap dash at the end.

Alright that’s it for the main course of the first arc. Next post will be the short stories and then we’ll move on to the second half of this RIP series.

Banned

Her "Okey Dokeys" get sadder as the show goes on though.

The struggle.

Nigger. Street Shitter. Faggot. Tranny.

These are four words that are completely inappropriate to use. This isn't even "Cogite Behavior 101."

THIS IS FUCKING REMEDIAL.

You don't call a black person a Nigger. (Unless you're 3J)

You don't call an Indian person a Street Shitter.

You don't call a gay man a Faggot. (You call everyone a faggot)

And you don't call a Shemale a Tranny.

Except, apparently, some of you do. And I'D like to hear why you think that's appropriate.

@EndMaster @Mizal @Daji @hetero_malk @Ford @ISentinelPenguinI @Petros @Celicni @WizzyCat @Darkspawn @The Canary @corgi213 @DireRyse @Avery_Moore @Ogre11 @Lux_Inferni @TypewriterCat @enterpride @benholman44 @PerforatedPenguin @Sherbet @Darius_Conwright @DBNB

Actually, just anyone that wants to chime in...

Agreed, you should definitely pick Ford.

Celicni is another good choice for co-author.

He picked fucking Ace? Lol story was already doomed.

So that's Briar and DB, who were the other 2 lucky contestants.

Alright I was going to post more horror related comics in the “Hey Kids! Comics!” thread, but then I decided to do actual reviews of obscure shit you’ve never heard of again. (Some of it will still be horror related anyway)

As always a little history first…

This one will focus on a group of comics that TSR published back in the late 80s. If you don’t know who they are, well they’re the original company that published Dungeons and Dragons before they got bought out by Wizards of the Coast who then got bought out by Hasbro, but that’s a whole other conflict shitstorm.

What THIS conflict shitstorm involves was TSR and DC comics. Back in the mid 80s, DC had a deal with TSR to publish comics based on D&D along with some of the other settings like Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance. These apparently were doing pretty well and around this time and TSR was foolishly expanding in all fucking directions and figured they could conquer the comic market, books, tv shows, etc.

This type of thinking combined with them producing a new setting every other year of which only about half of them were ever getting much attention is ultimately what got them into bankruptcy and bought out later in the 90s. But again, this is a larger issue.

So back to DC, TSR saw that their product was doing well under the DC brand. True they were making money off it, but so was DC. The idea was “Hey we can make these comics ourselves and keep ALL the money!”

However they’d already sold the rights to their top tier shit, so they had to go with their own made up ideas along with a new license they’d just acquired and were REALLY trying to push. This particular license was Buck Rogers.

This worked out about as well as you’d expect, meaning not at all.

First off, people were buying the DC comics because the settings like Dragonlance, Forgotten Realms and AD&D were known and popular among that particular nerd group. Plus DC on its own is a big enough brand that it can even attract DC fanboys to perhaps take a look at something else published under them even if it isn’t what they’d normally buy. The TSR comics weren’t even in set in what was going to presumably attract their main support nerds.

Second, this move severely pissed off DC who now saw TSR as a competitor, so what they promptly did was stop fucking publishing all the TSR related comics. Because hey, they got the goddamn BATMAN to earn them money, who needs a bunch of elven faggots? So now TSR just lost a steady source of cash income.

Third, apparently TSR attempted to avoid conflict with DC by selling their shit in actual bookstores rather than comic shops which didn’t help in the visibility department. (And it failed anyway) This one I’m not too sure about since I do remember finding these comics in comic shops, however the comic shops I was going to back in the day tended to have their share of actual books and gaming items so I guess it might have varied. I do remember bookstores back in those ancient times usually having a comic section and seeing these there though.

Which brings up the final point of why these failed is they were most likely really expensive to produce compared to the average comic. As mentioned in the title of this thread, each of these comics came with a free game inside. They even tried to avoid the “comic” label by calling them “Comic Modules” which was just retarded. (And another failed attempt to avoid conflict with DC)

So what were the games, well it depended on the comic. Sometimes they were based on the comic issue you just read and sometimes they were completely unrelated to it. Types of games involved chess variants with monster pieces, maze chases, simple card games, small scale wargames and more. They were usually a couple of pages near the back of the comic including the instructions and you cut out the pieces. Yep, that’s right, you took a fucking SCISSOR to your comic and cut the shit out of it. Even better, was that the cover and back cover were sometimes the “game board” to these things. You’d gently try to remove the comic covering without the staple ripping it too much. All of which meant you just totally destroyed your fucking comic and it will NEVER be in mint condition.

But only obsessive comic faggots worry about that shit anyway. You never had to cut up the actual story part of the comic, so I gleefully cut up some of my comics to play these things, the only downside obviously is paper counters/pieces tend to have a habit getting lost/destroyed as years go on, so unfortunately I don’t have any of these little games anymore. Now I do have some of the games intact. Mostly those I never bothered cutting out due to either being lazy or the game just not being interesting enough for me to bother.

Alright I’ve talked about everything now except what were the comics actually about, well I’ll be going into that in more detail in later posts as I review, but TSR published 5 separate comics. 13 Assassin, Buck Rogers, Intruder, Warhawks and RIP. Of those I collected all of them except 13 Assassin and Warhawks. From the cover(s) of Warhawks it looked like it focused on war shit set in various time periods like WW2 and the like. Apparently it was a time travel comic, but even if I’d known that, I don’t think that would have sparked my interest in it any more. 13 Assassin I assume was some revenge ninja martial arts shit which I also didn't have much interest in or at least not in comic book form.

I should mention that all of the comic series had at least 2 “major story arcs” (Buck had 3) For example Issues 1-4 of RIP was all one story arc while issues 5-8 were a completely different one. All the comics usually also had a second unrelated story in them too, though Buck again being an exception since he had an established setting so the second stories were still in that  same setting

The main one that caught my immediately attention was RIP since it was horror based and right on the first issue there’s fucking zombies on it. And if you remember from my OTHER comic series review, Deadworld was the only proper zombie comic in town at the time, so yeah of course I bought it…and was promptly a victim of false advertising, but it wasn’t all bad.

The other one I got into was the Buck Rogers comic. Now at the time I remembered the very short lived TV Show back in the early 80s and I hadn’t minded it. That probably peaked my interest along with enjoying scifi things. As I said TSR at the time really was pushing this license hard. They had an RPG of the setting, a board game (Which I owned) AND two video games, but for whatever reason Buck NEVER caught on much to the dismay of TSR.

Finally there was Intruder which I actually didn’t get into immediately. I didn’t get into Intruder until the second arc, so I sort of missed out on what it was all about exactly though I got the general idea and you didn’t really need to read the first one to understand the second arc. The main premise of Intruder was basically some regular human dude jumping from reality to reality and getting into adventures (He’s typically running a lot) Honestly I’d say the main storyline of this comic was never what interested me so much as the second “Side B” stories that were included in this one.

Well that’s enough for an intro, next post I’ll start off with RIP first. (And yes there will probably be pretty pictures)