If you've ever seen Kitchen Nightmares, you've run into the same problem I have. The show is fine, whatever, but certain episodes would have been seriously elevated if Gordon Ramsay had been allowed to just take out some of those restaurant owners. I can't be alone in thinking that, right?

Last year we at CYS brought in the New Year with Wholesome Dog's Birthday Adventure. This year... this.

Disclaimer: This gets a little rancid.

Super Bonus Challenge: See if you can deduce which page of this storygame was written by Sent!

I discovered a thing that JJJ wrote. It told me all about this quiz-making shit. I followed the instructions, even though I disobeyed JJJ's opening lines by starting this WITHOUT a basic knowledge of any of that weird scripty shit he recommended. This was low-effort as all hell, don't ever use the classic editor for anything you care about.

AQIMFTBHOIA DLC: THE UPDATE DESCRIPTION

Since some of my questions contained outdated information and I needed to make sure everything was in working order, I unpublished this thing. Since I understand this to be something that generally fucks with ratings, I'm gonna add 5 more questions so you have more of a reason to rate it again. Also, every question now has a stupid answer. These are the ones that are so blatantly wrong/non-answers that they give you negative points... Some are better hidden than others. Aside from most of the endings being revamped, there are two new endings! One is for people who're spectacularly awful at quizzes, and the other is an ending for people who go off the beaten path... By being really  bad at quizzes.

No, I will not add a thing at the end that shows your score. If you want to know your score, you have to dick-measure in the comments yourself. Drill Sergeant Nasty has always been an accurate barometer for how well you did, in my eyes.

this is a loosely satirical and somewhat more gamey version of the game that isn't really a game. thanks to the creative juices of Bardockwest. The ORIGINAL: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk

In a strange world where World War I hasn't even happened yet, Law and order is the only accepted form of justice. Until NOW.

Enter Mild-Mannered Clifford T. Boot, 2nd class passenger on the world-famous vessel, the Titanic. Haunted by the shadows of his war-torn past, Clifford bought a ticket to the United States of America looking for a new life. But trouble always finds Clifford, and when an innocent widow and her child are kidnapped by a cult dedicated to resurrecting Napoleon, he has no choice but to return to his old ways and save them... Because for some motherfuckers, mass tragedy doesn't come soon enough.

wait, I didn't know daji was a warden, she has a very marauder personality. Has anybody guessed her yet? I can't do it no more because sherbet killed me, but someone else should.

Milton, my one guess is Milton.

I don't like these paper bag guys I think we should hit them with large hammers

I'm thinking either Daji or Milton. Could be Flux.

Well they could be in any one of these wretched states.

To the last two guessers, Avo and Celicni:

Sherbet just called me from the hospital. The rancid fumes of your poisonous ignorance have given him cancer and he's too frail to even log in. Both of you are wrong. So hideously, disgustingly wrong, that he wouldn't have responded in person even if he could, and only for the sake of the game being able to move on from your wretched attempts at reasoning does he deign to request that I do the filthy work of shovelling your shit out from between the gears of this operation. "Fuck you," says sherbet, "Damn and blast the both of you to the bloody bowels of hell!" He said those exact words.

I've never seen sherbet upset like this. Do better.

IT"S NOT DONE YET

One bath at the far end of the hall, but since I'm waterproof the bath itself is also a living room, to save space.
 

WAIT ARE YOU JUST MAKING ME SHOW OFF MY PALATIAL ESTATE TO ENRAGE THE PEASANTRY AND GET MY ASS GUILLOTINED!?

Nice try, but I have an answer for every one of your slanderous speculations!
 

IT'S NOT AN IGLOO IT'S A SUBMARINE IN LAKE MICHIGAN THAT SMELLS EXTREMELY NORMAL FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU