If you've ever seen Kitchen Nightmares, you've run into the same problem I have. The show is fine, whatever, but certain episodes would have been seriously elevated if Gordon Ramsay had been allowed to just take out some of those restaurant owners. I can't be alone in thinking that, right?

Last year we at CYS brought in the New Year with Wholesome Dog's Birthday Adventure. This year... this.

Disclaimer: This gets a little rancid.

Super Bonus Challenge: See if you can deduce which page of this storygame was written by Sent!

I discovered a thing that JJJ wrote. It told me all about this quiz-making shit. I followed the instructions, even though I disobeyed JJJ's opening lines by starting this WITHOUT a basic knowledge of any of that weird scripty shit he recommended. This was low-effort as all hell, don't ever use the classic editor for anything you care about.

AQIMFTBHOIA DLC: THE UPDATE DESCRIPTION

Since some of my questions contained outdated information and I needed to make sure everything was in working order, I unpublished this thing. Since I understand this to be something that generally fucks with ratings, I'm gonna add 5 more questions so you have more of a reason to rate it again. Also, every question now has a stupid answer. These are the ones that are so blatantly wrong/non-answers that they give you negative points... Some are better hidden than others. Aside from most of the endings being revamped, there are two new endings! One is for people who're spectacularly awful at quizzes, and the other is an ending for people who go off the beaten path... By being really  bad at quizzes.

No, I will not add a thing at the end that shows your score. If you want to know your score, you have to dick-measure in the comments yourself. Drill Sergeant Nasty has always been an accurate barometer for how well you did, in my eyes.

this is a loosely satirical and somewhat more gamey version of the game that isn't really a game. thanks to the creative juices of Bardockwest. The ORIGINAL: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk

In a strange world where World War I hasn't even happened yet, Law and order is the only accepted form of justice. Until NOW.

Enter Mild-Mannered Clifford T. Boot, 2nd class passenger on the world-famous vessel, the Titanic. Haunted by the shadows of his war-torn past, Clifford bought a ticket to the United States of America looking for a new life. But trouble always finds Clifford, and when an innocent widow and her child are kidnapped by a cult dedicated to resurrecting Napoleon, he has no choice but to return to his old ways and save them... Because for some motherfuckers, mass tragedy doesn't come soon enough.

Because I have reading comprehension! And if I were curious, I would have asked the same question she did and been equally annoyed as everyone else re-explaining the question to you like a toddler.

She's not asking about what's already been said, she has already read that and used it to formulate this question. She wants to hear what you're not saying, what you keep attempting to end the conversation to avoid saying, whether due to your fear, or your intellectual cowardice, or simply as the instinctual side effect of living the mechanistic and thoroughly unobserved existence you have been so far. You have told us all what you feel, and we have found it truly confounding. You are being asked to question yourself, and examine why you might feel that way. Use your own words, if you're physically capable.

That would be one thing if those were Satan's words, but there is no Capital S Satan of the Bible. The idea of a Satan was an abstraction and a teaching tool used by far later christians. The guy who told Eve to eat the apple was literally a snake, the reason he's there is part of the creation mythology to explain why snakes are like that and animals don't talk anymore. To presuppose that the snake was Satan would create flagrantly insane subtext, like God punishing an entire species of animals to squirm around on the ground because of something a sapient supernatural creature did while pretending to be one.

Look, do you want opera composers to be able to write parts for male sopranos or not!?

Goodness this is a miserable thread, it gives me indigestion to read. That all input is met by the mechanistic and cyclical meanderings of an unthinking creature with a disemboweled soul, his very being stunted and twisted like a bonsai tree around the wires of backwards and often recently invented dogmas. Like a conniving cancer cell he must push himself and others toward this skeletal existence that has no room for the actual, many-faceted reality which these teachings were meant to prepare and adapt humans for. If I believed that this was the nature of God, I would have tried to off myself, too.

Turkish? Um, sweetie, I think you'll find that's extremely problematic. Cel might have been Assigned Kebab at Birth but his preferred slurs are Honkey/Cracker.

Oh god it's you again. Stop doing that, you gormless freak!

I feel like I'm typecast for somebody else in this lineup, but frankly "Doctor Dreamsicle" sounds like a pimp name and so I assume the role comes with a much better costume, so I'm auditioning for that guy.

EDIT: At time of writing Spicynoodle had not yet edited his post

And I think he knows a LITTLE more about insanity than you do, pal!

tf you know about taxes, you're like 6