Invasion of the Evil Pickles

This story, for the most part, is not the best I've seen ever, and it looks like it was written by some young author(s). Especially the strange plot.

The story doesn't necessarily revolve around an Invasion. The best choice, as far as I can see, is just you eating a pickle that would have otherwise communicated with its bretheren for an invasion. Therefore, it doesn't seem to be much of an Invasion if you're just encoutnering 1-2 pickles out of each choice. In fact, for the TV choice, if you pick correctly, you actually get to rule a planet. Where is the Invasion? Certainly not in this CYS.

Another thing would be the shortness of the story. I would have forgiven the above if it were an ACTUAL invasion. But you don't even encounter that many pickles, more like 1-2. Plus there's only 3 storylines you could pick from, with an average of 2 choices after that. And then it ends either bad or good.

At least the writing is a lot better than other stories I've seen with some riduculous plots. I didn't catch many grammar mistakes as well.

Like I said, the story itself seems to be written by a young person, or persons.

In my opinion I really think this should be taken down.

1/8.

Although you say this is 'serious', this is quite obviously a sad attempt at humor :P
Subject-matter, well, matters. The best comedies aren't just a jumble of inane, crazy things in an absurd, nonsensical wasteland. You need a good, at least somewhat sensical setting before attempting at something like this. Random humor is just used for cheap laughs, if you want to write good humor you have to write something more intelligent than pickles.
Don't get me wrong, some bizarre, random stories are funny, but you really should want to make something that'll get more than just a chuckle.

If you don't remember unpublishing this, it's likely a mod did it because of the (well-deserved) low rating. Sorry about your masterpiece, better luck next time.

I am a bit biased, since I love stories about pickles! Playing through it several times, it had the feel of the original CYOA books. Surprisingly, however, not one pickle produced a human sized mason jar, and not a single gurkin showed up. Pity.

I saved the world by eating a pickle. I would say today is a win.

This was weird, short and made no sense but interesting none the less.

I ate a pickle and won XD

That was stupid.

YAY I'm the last surviving human because I gave a pickle some change. Karma's pretty nice!

I love this game it was so funny