War of Brothers

Wow, this was certainly something.

I must say that the biggest recurring problem in this game is the grammar, no offense but some parts were barely legible. Also, there was an abundance of links that went absolutely nowhere when clicked, and some of the scenes just literally made no sense. Characters had no names, army ranks, or barely any personalities at that.

Honestly, there's just so many flaws here. Flaws that outweigh the little positives that may be in this story. I'm not saying that this is a terrible game, but it's not the most pleasant reading experience that I've had on this site. But I do see that there's potential in this and that's what makes it frustrating when all is said and done.

This is something that I would like to enjoy, but as it now I can't really say with honesty that I immensely enjoyed this game.

The story was good, but the poor grammar and misuse of words (shocking people's hands instead of shaking them for example) made me stop for a moment to work out what it was trying to say, a fair few times. As Sethaniel said, it could be immensely improved by correcting such mistakes. However, I liked it, and I've seen far, far worse than this before. I'll play the sequel when it comes out.

Nice storyline to this story. A little confusing that you have links saying "shoot him" but those don't work, one has to use the gun item to actually shoot. This game would be *immensely* improved by spell-check and grammar checking. There are characters and plot here, but they don't come through as clearly as they could because of the confusing writing style. "You hand-shock everyone on the army" -- sounds like I have a joybuzzer. . .

Really good and interesting, it is very short but you could tell he put a lot of time and effort into it. I would recommend it and i'm going to be looking out for more of his works.

The sentence structure was awkward and there were lots of unnecessary capitalizations. I also feel like you could do a better job of making us care about the characters. Putting a little bit more effort in, whether it's fleshing out the characters, adding to the plot, or even just running it through a grammar checker, would improve your story significantly.
The item scripting was okay, but there were some places where there was a link to shoot someone as well as the option to use the gun.
Overall, a lack of effort made this story an unsatisfying read.

it was lit AF

Your game is chock-full of bugs. I started out choosing a gun, but decided not to pick it up, because why not. Before long, I find that I have to shoot someone but the page loops and loops until eventually you have to restart. If you want the player to pick up the gun specifically, force them to do so or something. I found 3 different looping pages and it wasn't very entertaining.

good game but it need's to be longer and you need more tools and weapons and a reason to use them differently.

Prrrty gooood

well first you need to work on your grammar dude, it kinda sucks to read it, i got headache because of your grammar wew