A Not So Pleasant Fishing Trip

Player Rating4.89/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 20 ratings since 01/04/2018
played 127 times (finished 30)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

You've found the absolute perfect fishing spot! What better place to spend your vacation! Lurking within, however, is an ancient evil. Will you be able to survive or will you lose your head? You decide!

Player Comments

Oh look, now IAP finally did something, after years of hiding. That's nice. Anyhow, seeing as this story was focused on my own home country, it was of interest to me. Anyhow, review time. The first issue I noticed was the format of the actual words. There wasn't spaces between each new line, it was all kind of squashed together. I'm not sure what did that, but I'd say wherever you brought in the text from had some format issues. Just something to change up for your next one to make it a bit easier to read. Anyhow, onto the actual story.

The story was pretty fun. There was good use of variables and chance and whatever the hell it was using it that made it just so hard to actually survive your encounter with the Dullahan. The whole idea of an isolated man going into the woods fishing seemed to suit you well, I might add. The Dullahan itself seemed really cool, and there was good use of descriptors there. When it catches you it's really cool, and it seems like you did a really good job of making the headless horseman a horrifying entity.

Of a few issues I noted, the length wasn't actually that big of them. Don't get me wrong, I would've loved something longer, and the action sequence of legging it could've used a bit more content, but ultimately with the story you were trying to tell, I don't think it suffered much because of it. Something that was an issue was the actual mechanics of the chase. Whilst running from the Dullahan, at first I did the obvious things, like rush through the woods, over the bridge, swim for it and try my truck. Obviously though, this didn't work due to what's required for success, so I either tried hiding and died for it, or had to continue repeating those. Which pretty much ended up with my actual character running around in circles aimlessly, doing things like trying to drive the truck that I'd already got stuck and running aimlessly back and forth until I ended up on the highway. That seemed a bit silly, ultimately, and no doubt would make it hard for most people to find the end.

Whilst it's definitely no massive, long-spanning epic, as a little action/horror sequence, the story works pretty well, and at three thousand words, it's a pretty good example on how you can make a short story, and you don't need to make something massive for it to be good, and that quantity and quality don't go hand in hand. It's a good addition to the site, and it's good to see something from a writer who has hid from us for quite some time.
-- Steve24833 on 1/7/2018 1:40:03 PM with a score of 0
So now we see what IAP has been hiding from us all this time! A little short but I enjoyed this, it's got a very approachable writing style and tone that really drew me in. Some of the details in the beginning made the places described seem so real I'm thinking they must be drawn from real life.

Besides the length the only issues I had with this were that the lack of spaces between paragraphs made it a bit text wall-ish at times, even with the aid of the paragraph indents. (But I know he was having trouble with the editor and I can't say that massive gaps of white space would have been preferable..)

I would have put variable restrictions in the escape links to remove them as they were selected (the way it was when setting up camp) or maybe even just alternate versions once you'd tried them once. Right now you can run for the car and have the window broken out over and over again, for instance.

The bigger issue is that I think there's only one ending here...or only one that I came across anyway. Although it may be a matter of needing to try the escape options in a certain order and I just didn't find it.

Anyway IAP, hoping now that that first storygame hurdle is passed you'll publish some more soon. After reading this I can honestly say I'd happily read about a guy on a regular fishing trip too.

-- mizal on 1/6/2018 3:27:39 PM with a score of 0
This was...pleasant. I enjoyed it playing it, and it was certainly a good first game. Steve and Mizal said pretty much anything I thought to mention, so ditto to them.Great job IAP!
-- EbonVasilis on 1/11/2018 12:55:30 PM with a score of 0
Some great writing and really good descriptions here. The story seems a bit short, otherwise this could really benefit it. If there is a way to escape the Dullahan, it must be extremely well-hidden, because that's the only real snag in the story. You've given the reader all of these options for escape, and almost all of them seem to lead to death. Nevertheless, it was enjoyable to read, even if it promised more than it delivered.

That title also sounds very familiar. I wonder where you could possibly have gotten it from.
-- Saika on 1/11/2018 9:17:27 AM with a score of 0
You have a very interesting premise, and you're very descriptive throughout the story. Unfortunately, it feels way too short and a lot more story than game. I couldn't find any possible way to avoid the death screen, no matter what choices I made. And ultimately all those different choices lead to the exact same death screen, so there's no real replay value here. Also, while your grammar is almost completely flawless, you have some link issues during the flight sequence since choosing one place to run to doesn't exclude it from possible decisions when you run to the next place. Despite that, I have to give major credit to you for how well written everything is. Please keep it up; I'd love to read more from you.
-- Glandros on 1/6/2018 1:57:50 AM with a score of 0
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