Achilles

Player Rating6.70/8

"#23 overall, #2 for 2015"
based on 727 ratings since 12/23/2015
played 11,045 times (finished 531)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length7/8

"It keeps going and going"

Maturity Level6/8

"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.

Take control of General Achilles, a human General trying to lead the human fleet to prosperity through politics and military means, while dealing with keeping humanity and it's allies together, dealing with a barbaric race of raiders and a powerful alien alliance. Will humanity crush it's enemies under it's boots? Will you form a peaceful coalition between all species? Or will you become humanity's downfall?

This is my first game, which I made with the help of Steve24833. I really hope you enjoy it. Please comment on any bugs, mistakes or other screw-ups I made. 

Hey, the sequel's here, Achilles II: The Chykri. Enjoy it!

Player Comments

I thought it was good. I actually skipped the first few pages, but eventually got more into it. I got an ending that involved peace with the Alliance and unifying the Galaxy. I'd like to think it's one of the better endings, haha.

Issues I had:
- I think you should have used items for the info dump on the first page. I'm sure some of it could have come in handy later, but right away it was too intimidating to bother reading.
- There were several times I had two choices that were worded the exact same way, but had different results.
- I never really was able to quantify what my strength actually meant. I know it refers to combat strength, but we never learn what our opponent's is, so there's not much value in knowing the number.
- The game was long, which is nice, but it seemed to be pretty linear is regards to where it went.
- I was fine with the "Problem -> Solution -> Repeat", method of playing the game for the most part, but when the war happened I would have preferred to be a little more proactive. I was never given the chance to do assassinations or spy, or learn what was happening from behind us. Despite us losing many resources, we just kind of ignored it.

All in all I enjoyed it. It has flaws, but it accomplishes what it sets out to do, so it's a solid 6/8.
-- Killa_Robot on 5/20/2015 4:14:26 PM with a score of 50
Okay, first off: this storygame is such a welcome relief from the huge pile of short, uninteresting games that have come out lately. It's well-written, the scripts and variables all work (as far as I could tell) and it all makes sense as one coherent package, including multiple chapters released together, instead of multiple truncated attempts at a game (which has become far too common).
Glowing compliments aside, the one aspect you could definitely improve on for next time is the transitions. the first chapter especially seemed like each page was totally disconnected from the next. A problem was posed, I picked a solution, the results were displayed, and suddenly a totally new problem was happening. Give me a story or something to drive me through the 1st chapter; by the time the 2nd and 3rd chapters came around, the game moved forward with a clear sense of overall purpose and direction. (although it was a little slow at times). The statistics drove a decent portion of the game, but it's the characters that make it come alive--and we don't deal too much with the characters in the first chapter. Once I stated getting a feel for who everyone was, though, everything started flowing much more nicely.
As a final compliment, your knowledge of Greek mythology is awesome. I loved all the references during the military upgrades selection (what were those Valkyries doing there, anyway?) the mythology added a little flavor to the game, and I appreciated it for that.

All in all, a great storygame, and I'm definitely looking forward to #2!
-- MagmaArmor0 on 5/18/2015 10:43:49 PM with a score of 45
This storygame is simply great. It really tests your personality. I loved it!!!
-- Ram Danny on 4/29/2017 12:37:55 PM with a score of 0
Interesting characters and story, however it lags a little in the middle of the storyline in terms of making choices.
-- Travis on 4/18/2017 1:24:58 AM with a score of -5
A fun space adventure with hints of action, strategy, and political intrigue. Reminiscent of Babylon 5 mixed with other genre tropes in many regards. There were a handful of novel ideas and uncommon implementations, nothing too original but not lacking for it. There are some interesting choices to be made and I really enjoyed this. The humor is hit or miss, and certain jokes may come off as being too satirical or self aware in a work which otherwise plays it straight. This is an observation, not a critique as while it removes polish and wouldn't fit a commercial work; as a fan work the nod fits so long as it suits the author. Critiques I do have: There are several bugged links. One I forget which gives you the same choice as both of your only two options. Another is at the dinner scene, after completing all conversations and having sat down at the table, when you get up you are returned to the description of the scene as though the dinner hadn't happened, but only have the option to leave (as all other options are completed.) To fix this either a variable could be attached to the dinner option, so that upon completion you are taken to a page with new description but the other options still there; or simpler taking the dinner option could end the scene wether you'd spoken to the guests or not. The dialog was overall "fan fiction caliber," not artful but passable. There are some areas that need attention though. Going back to the dinner scene, after sitting down the scene concludes: "you finish eating and get up to get something to eat." That doesn't make much sense and is a tad repetitive. Similarly, the half parasite says: "...asked for help in their civil war.." then immediately continues addressing the council: "... as you know they are in civil war." Later he says: "military support is what these people need.." then continues: "general, these people need military support." These are back to back reporitions. There are more, and in one case not as dialog, but the same statement erroneously repeated in the text as a fragment and obvious proof error. it may be intentional, an effect of the translator, or an attempt to break convention, but it's still a little hard to deal with the millinia old hive mind which often speaks as though he's your coworker at Arby's. There's also a complete inconsistency in formality of speech between characters of certain relationships, and during the military inspection and other times it feels like you're having a conversation with a dungeons and dragons party and not with subordinates in a military organization. Despite less than artisanal dialog, some technical glitches, internal inconsistencies, not picky details of the in universe rules and consistency, and the above mentioned need for polish in a few places: this was a well paced and enjoyable game. The author is on the right track to greatness in their writing. This expressed creativity, budding skill, and passion. I loved the length and the quantity and quality of choices. Without the cyoa element I would not have given 6/8. I feel they get a 7/8 on the elements that make a cyoa. While the writing and story are still important, there were no unforgivable sins here, just room to improve. If you like longer adventures don't pass this up. You won't likely walk away with your mind blown, but I'd be surprised if you didn't have a good time.
-- kyo787 on 4/12/2017 12:40:47 PM with a score of 0
Great read...again, although your sequel was slightly dissapointing this one was great.
-- Riley on 4/7/2017 10:16:46 PM with a score of 50
Hi! Probably many before me have mentioned some parts (i.e. military overview) to be somewhat too lengthy. The twists were nice, you could implement more with greater consequences. The counter did well although it's severity/importance never really was fleshed out. You could frame it organically in a 'tactical discussion' with some characters from the story within the first couple pages. Nice job by the way! Keep up the good work!
-- bombaldi on 4/7/2017 1:20:40 PM with a score of 0
Very impressive. Cant wait to read number 2.
-- ic456 on 3/15/2017 1:34:51 AM with a score of 0
This was quite good. I loved being able to be a peacemaker.
-- EndDragon on 3/12/2017 4:10:31 PM with a score of 0
I love this game!!!!!! I played this when I first joined and it was awesome and playing it again was even moreso.
-- wil on 2/28/2017 2:36:25 PM with a score of 50
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