Agent of Order
Commended by BerkaZerka on 11/11/2018 10:49:29 AM
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
played 1,414 times (finished 66)
"trek through the forest"
"It'll be a while, better grab a Snickers®"
"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.
Orbiting a barren planetoid in a system full of nothing just past the edge of the frontier, The Last Outpost is just another refueling station. Strategically important, true, but on a routine stop you never expected to spend longer than a couple hours there, let alone a couple of days fighting for your life...
There are five epilogues, but some may be difficult to discover. Note that actions have consequences, but not always immediate ones. (And if you just need an End Game link, go play around with the probe.)
Well well, another great story by Mizal.
The plot, characters, and mystery was great, my only complaint however is that the protagonists gender is...GENDER LOCKED. Like come on, man.
Just joking, of course, no one here gives a shit about any of that. Seriously though, I think one of my favorite parts of the story was the mystery aspect....a murder mystery in space!
I had it all figured out, except that I didn't at all lol.
I kind of wonder what exactly the effects of the Hunger Virus were though, I don't remember seeing too much detail on that. So for now my assumption is they go crazy like Matti and just eat all the food in the refrigerator...those animals!
The space battle was pretty cool, not quite how I expected. For some reason I assumed it was going the route of "space pirates are going to board and eventually kill everyone". But luckily this is probably the most realistic depiction of a space battle out there, and they got shot at and hauled ass like anyone probably would.
I liked how each character had their own distinct personalities, Karoff was just weird and goofy, Hinsman was a good guy just trying to do his job, really.
The whole aspect of Zina going crazy every once in a while and having hallucinations was great. At first it seems like she is just regular crazy, but I had great enjoyment in finding out she was an android and was suffering some side effects. Side effects that they were slowly trying to weed out with each....reboot?
Any ways, great story, it followed the themes of the contest in an unexpected and fun way.
on 10/29/2018 12:11:56 PM with a score of 0
You managed to weave the themes of the contest smartly into the storygame, so that's a first positive. I also liked the way in which you represented the 'dwindling humanity' throughout the story, linking it to the identity of a different (dead) person and to her memory/emotions. The fact that Zee was not initially revealed as an android had me thinking she was a human who was going to catch the Hunger and transform, but that would have been certainly less interesting (especially after reading exactly what the virus turns you into, lol).
In the technical area you don't have any problems: the grammar is good and the style is direct, as always. The pace is fast, sometimes a little too much, and that takes me to the next point.
What is maybe the only issue, and one I'm sure you're aware of, is that the whole thing feels like it could have been expanded more. This is not a short story of course, and a lot of things happen, but there were some situations that evolved too quickly and branches that were cut too short or redirected to the same result. All in all, a heavily trimmed tree.
If you play all 5 epilogues you can explore a few additional things about the characters and setting, but if you go down a single path you really feel like it was all over too soon. I assume all of this was caused by time limits, and it's a shame because if you hadn't been in a rush this could have developed into a great story. It's still good, but damn it I want the DLC. 6/8
on 10/28/2018 2:33:52 PM with a score of 0
-- Scott on 12/28/2018 1:42:45 AM with a score of 0
The storyline felt linear, there wasn’t much of an introduction and there were a few grammar and plot errors, but other than that good concept and beautiful story.
-- Story reader on 12/6/2018 5:21:12 PM with a score of 0
All I can say is “That’s a lot of damage” -Jesus AKA Phil Swift
on 12/5/2018 2:48:06 PM with a score of 0
Reading this alone in the tub gave me real chills. I'm really interested in finding the other endings. Thanks for the ride!
-- Sarah on 11/19/2018 6:05:19 AM with a score of 0
Quite unfortunate that it ends in a cliffhanger.
on 11/14/2018 9:58:53 PM with a score of 0
It was great. I could really visualize everything that was going on. I would love to see a sequel to find out what happens with the order and if the vile is used.
-- Future1 on 11/2/2018 6:00:49 PM with a score of 0
I got the ending where Zee stands ominously holding a vial. When I play this again I hope there’s a path s/he uses it, and if not, a sequel where the Order is fought would be cool.
I really liked the repressed memories from the organic brain. Very cool idea, but not much was done with them on the path I ended up taking. Again, if another route doesn’t go deeper on that I hope for a sequel.
Regarding the writing and structure, my only complaints are a couple of typos early on and one particular page that led to nothing (the page title was one of the “Wait until they’re closer” links). It reads similar to one of the endings I explored, just without the “Aftermath” link, so I’m guessing I didn’t miss much on that path (or maybe it was one of those paths the author doesn’t really want the reader to go).
Anyway, it definitely appears to be worth a re-read, if only some more of the memory stuff is explored. And hopefully, of course, we get a strong motive for the protagonist to destroy the Order. Yeah, it would be cliché, but that sort of thing is always fun. And if isn’t there in another path, it wouod be nice to see it in a sequel.
on 10/28/2018 2:36:28 PM with a score of 0
Show All Comments
Help & Info
Who Is Online
84 guests and
version 20170008 | ChooseYourStory © 2001 - 2019, Halogen Studios Entertainment |