Agent of Order
Commended by BerkaZerka on 11/11/2018 10:49:29 AM
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
played 2,059 times (finished 94)
"trek through the forest"
"It'll be a while, better grab a Snickers®"
"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.
Orbiting a barren planetoid in a system full of nothing just past the edge of the frontier, The Last Outpost is just another refueling station. Strategically important, true, but on a routine stop you never expected to spend longer than a couple hours there, let alone a couple of days fighting for your life...
There are five epilogues, but some may be difficult to discover. Note that actions have consequences, but not always immediate ones. (And if you just need an End Game link, go play around with the probe.)
The starting and setup for this story are more than enough to bring the reader into the story and want to read it. It sounds like a simple routine stop that’s clearly going to be more than routine. The reader is immediately grabbed by the story and they will want to read it simply to find out how. After all, it’s just a simple refueling stop, so what could go wrong? It’s an excellent hook and an invitation to the story.
The setting and writing on the first page set the scene nicely. There are good descriptions and details and enough information to feel like the reader is really in the story here. The only part that was slightly confusing (did you really think that wasn’t going to happen?) was the hero’s job. Maybe I missed it, but at one point Hinsman is keeping me away from the public. Then I’m supposed to protect people, but it’s not clear if it is protecting the public or Hinsman’s people. But also the hero destroyed a cruiser in the course of his job recently, too. But Hinsman has a badge and the hero has worked with a pilot before. But he’s headed to the outer rim for work, whatever that might be.
The arrival at The Last Outpost is fun. Well, maybe not for the hero, but reading the words and descriptions around it work very well. It is almost difficult to step out of the story to write this review because at that point the story is engaging and the reader really wants to stay in the story to find out what’s going on and what happened – and we’re not even in the meat of the story yet! The writing here is similar to that book you start to read just before bed and end up reading way past midnight because you just wanted to find out a little more about what was going to happen next.
There was some nicely woven-in backstory throughout the pages as it led through the story. I was hoping for a few more choices, like when the hero was asked whether they should move on or secure the station, but there wasn’t an option to just run away like a little girl and hide, so I didn’t get to choose to do that.
The story does continue with an excellent plot and tension. There were great options and logical choices throughout the story and often not a clear foreknowledge of which choice should be taken – which was a good thing because it really did create the idea that the reader was in control of the story and could really decide where the story would go. The discussions and dialogue were crisp and detailed – once again the reader is really taken into the story and feels like they are there in the room listening to the stories first-hand.
The story also had a number of twists and turns that were not expected. I could see connections from some of the decisions that I had made early in the story affect things much later in the story. And it really did keep me reading and want to read more in anticipation of what was going to happen next. I also really liked the sub-text and story that was happening in the background with the memories. Could that lead to another story? We can only hope and wait…with the hidden vial…
on 4/2/2019 4:43:15 PM with a score of 0
Well well, another great story by Mizal.
The plot, characters, and mystery was great, my only complaint however is that the protagonists gender is...GENDER LOCKED. Like come on, man.
Just joking, of course, no one here gives a shit about any of that. Seriously though, I think one of my favorite parts of the story was the mystery aspect....a murder mystery in space!
I had it all figured out, except that I didn't at all lol.
I kind of wonder what exactly the effects of the Hunger Virus were though, I don't remember seeing too much detail on that. So for now my assumption is they go crazy like Matti and just eat all the food in the refrigerator...those animals!
The space battle was pretty cool, not quite how I expected. For some reason I assumed it was going the route of "space pirates are going to board and eventually kill everyone". But luckily this is probably the most realistic depiction of a space battle out there, and they got shot at and hauled ass like anyone probably would.
I liked how each character had their own distinct personalities, Karoff was just weird and goofy, Hinsman was a good guy just trying to do his job, really.
The whole aspect of Zina going crazy every once in a while and having hallucinations was great. At first it seems like she is just regular crazy, but I had great enjoyment in finding out she was an android and was suffering some side effects. Side effects that they were slowly trying to weed out with each....reboot?
Any ways, great story, it followed the themes of the contest in an unexpected and fun way.
on 10/29/2018 12:11:56 PM with a score of 0
You managed to weave the themes of the contest smartly into the storygame, so that's a first positive. I also liked the way in which you represented the 'dwindling humanity' throughout the story, linking it to the identity of a different (dead) person and to her memory/emotions. The fact that Zee was not initially revealed as an android had me thinking she was a human who was going to catch the Hunger and transform, but that would have been certainly less interesting (especially after reading exactly what the virus turns you into, lol).
In the technical area you don't have any problems: the grammar is good and the style is direct, as always. The pace is fast, sometimes a little too much, and that takes me to the next point.
What is maybe the only issue, and one I'm sure you're aware of, is that the whole thing feels like it could have been expanded more. This is not a short story of course, and a lot of things happen, but there were some situations that evolved too quickly and branches that were cut too short or redirected to the same result. All in all, a heavily trimmed tree.
If you play all 5 epilogues you can explore a few additional things about the characters and setting, but if you go down a single path you really feel like it was all over too soon. I assume all of this was caused by time limits, and it's a shame because if you hadn't been in a rush this could have developed into a great story. It's still good, but damn it I want the DLC. 6/8
on 10/28/2018 2:33:52 PM with a score of 0
The writing in this story is very smooth. Miz was able to grip my attention with concise details and a spooky atmosphere.
The characters worked and you were able to spin a cool backstory without overwhelming the reader with exposition. I'm going to go back.and re-read this.
on 5/15/2019 9:46:33 AM with a score of 0
Wow that was just crazy. I loved it though.
on 3/10/2019 9:29:11 PM with a score of 0
-- Scott on 12/28/2018 1:42:45 AM with a score of 0
The storyline felt linear, there wasn’t much of an introduction and there were a few grammar and plot errors, but other than that good concept and beautiful story.
-- Story reader on 12/6/2018 5:21:12 PM with a score of 0
All I can say is “That’s a lot of damage” -Jesus AKA Phil Swift
on 12/5/2018 2:48:06 PM with a score of 0
Reading this alone in the tub gave me real chills. I'm really interested in finding the other endings. Thanks for the ride!
-- Sarah on 11/19/2018 6:05:19 AM with a score of 0
Quite unfortunate that it ends in a cliffhanger.
on 11/14/2018 9:58:53 PM with a score of 0
Show All Comments
Help & Info
Who Is Online
75 guests and
version 20190002 | ChooseYourStory © 2001 - 2019, Halogen Studios Entertainment |