Attack on the Castle

Player Rating3.34/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 79 ratings since 08/16/2016
played 821 times (finished 125)

Story Difficulty1/8

"no possible way to lose"

Play Length3/8

"A nice jog down the driveway"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

Tags

Drama

Play as Clove, the princess who is thrown into an arranged marriage with a man she doesn't know, at the worst possible time, the time of siege. Choose your path, deciding if she will stand by the strangers side as rebels attack, or join them in taking down her own kingdom. Will you betray the people you love for the good of all? Or will you stand by their side until the very end?

Player Comments

Sigh.
The writing wasn't exactly what I would call bad, but I noticed a lack of detail. Detail is really what makes a storygame a storygame, and I felt this just needed more to be fully fleshed out.

The plot itself was decent. Many parts didn't make sense, like in Raven's comment it was stated that the warning probably would have been received sooner in the situation.

One of the things that really got me was a dead link. These are really annoying and it makes no sense to have it, and you should really fix this problem.

Like I said, the writing isn't bad, but the story felt rushed, like the author felt there was some sort of thing that forced them to publish it as soon as possible. Spend more time on your storygames.

After a while I found myself bored. This storygames plot and development could really be fleshed out better with some kind of scripting.

Well, I guess i'll go ahead and give this a 2/8. Not the worst, but spend more time on it.
-- MinnieKing on 3/2/2017 7:50:16 PM
The story was short, and I didn't get the point at all. There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but not too many. The story was confusing and felt rushed, as if you gave up and put in a random ending. Never give up on a story, and if you do, don't make a bad ending and put it out. If your unsure whether you want to do the story, sleep on it. If you still feel like you want to make the story, do it. If not, don't do and find another topic to do.
-- Apollo118 on 9/10/2016 5:12:03 PM
Some things that don't make sense.

First, when me, as the princess, was having a meeting, why did I get the warning late? Seriously, when the villagers started rioting, the soldiers should have been alerted and the king would be quickly informed. Why did I get warned once fire

Well... unless the villagers had a some sort of plan, this doesn't make sense.

Y'know... "Fire! Men from the village are destroying everything!"

Such fires and anarchy should have been heard or seen from a far distance, so everyone in the castle should have got notified sooner.

And suddenly... villagers are inside the castle...

Maybe you should add details why all the sudden surprises happened.

Is it because the villagers managed to sneak inside and make a surprise attack? Or what? There must be a clever plan behind all of it.

If not, then all of it wouldn't make sense.

-----

Regarding the reason why the villagers rioted, one of them is due to the princess marrying a prince from Venturias -- a conqueror kingdom.

Umm... logically, it's a good thing. Because your kingdom will be allied to Venturias, which is a powerful ally. Then why are they getting angry?

Make up more reasons, please. Maybe because Venturias has a lot of enemies, so the kingdom will engage in bloody battles that it can't endure due to lack of manpower or something, so a lot of people will be conscripted for it.

-----

Writing-wise, the others have pointed them out. So I point out the other factors.

Hey, not bad for a first try. I'd say keep improving! ;)
-- Raven47 on 9/8/2016 6:14:48 AM
its a bit boring
-- Bella on 1/16/2017 9:39:20 AM
its goood
-- taylor on 1/16/2017 9:37:01 AM
My kids enjoyed it but got me killed.
-- drackeye on 11/3/2016 9:23:21 PM
It was fine. Sometimes some odd choices of words. Also, one or two dead-ends. But a good storygame.
-- Silverlight on 10/4/2016 10:42:26 AM
If you can write like this, but develop the characters a bit more, then you've got yourself a better game!
-- RewriteN on 8/29/2016 8:52:22 AM
I think that It had a lot of potential, but way too short. Good writing, just very short.
-- Fromnono on 8/21/2016 6:58:22 PM
It's not poorly written, but the characters are undeveloped, and links are broken. It's a very mediocre story game, but that's a lot better than many of the others on here.
-- Aerys on 8/17/2016 7:40:03 PM
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