, #46 for
played 1,296 times (finished 170)
"no possible way to lose"
"A well spent lunch break"
"appropriate for all ages"
Stories with this maturity level will not, by design, have any potentially objectionable content. An example of a type story with this rating would be a quiz on mathematics.
For Chapin students, choose your destiny in a court case!
This was quite interesting, although a bit short. The writing was cohesive and done well for the most part, but I can't help but feel that both branches in this game could've been longer and each would have been more fascinating if there were more choices that were presented.
This storygame has a interesting premise, and your writing is quite good, but there almost feels like there's something that's missing here. I think that the difficulty of this storygame could have also been taken into account to be just a bit more difficult in the long run, because they were obvious for the most part. Still, this was a pretty interesting story, although it lacks in some key areas to make it truly outstanding.
I like that you've tried to capture the feel of a courtroom drama in this, but this lacks in detail that would've made this much more immersive in the end. You show promise as a writer, but I would implore that you take the time to truly polish your storygames so they're able to leave a more impactful and lasting impression on your readers.
I would like to see some improvement, because there were things at play here that I rather enjoyed.
on 3/26/2017 12:48:09 AM
This is a good idea, but it could be better executed. The story was short, and choices were few. The trial ended rather abruptly with the white woman, and while the trial seemed longer with the African-American man, there were not many meaningful choices besides the 'run' and 'panic' choices no one ever chooses. I would love to see this game with more choices and longer trials, so that the reader has to try to figure out how to win the case. And perhals it would better help the story if the reader was acting as the lawyer, not the client? Considering that the lawyer would do more of finding evidence, talking to witnesses, and such.
on 1/9/2016 11:28:00 AM
I enjoyed this, it was realistic and interesting. Again though the choices are painfully obvious, if you're being arrested for a crime you're not guilty of it's probably not a good idea to pick a fight with the policemen at the scene or try for a new long-distance running record :D I like the concept here and hopefully you will write longer, more detailed courtroom dramas.
Incidentally this isn't school-based because it's not set in a school. It's probably Edutainment or possibly modern adventure.
on 6/2/2015 9:40:47 PM
Yay! I'm innocent! Good story bro! :D
on 5/15/2017 9:37:57 PM
Needed more choices
on 3/29/2017 1:56:01 PM
Good story, but a little easy. You only (depending on your character) have to sit tight and not do anything weird. Good plot, but a twist would be appreciated. No lying though- a cool way to spend your time
-- Yeeter on 3/7/2017 10:20:48 PM
I had fun playing
on 11/28/2015 5:40:46 PM
The concept is great, but for a game like this, you need to be able to provide more detail. It is not as simple as just Bang! you win and that's it.
on 11/10/2015 11:17:21 AM
This seems fairly interesting; you have potential and shown you can write pretty decently. Problem is, like others have noted, the game is just way too easy and linear. The reader doesn't even have to read the story to make a choice, it's just a matter of selecting the most rational oe logical one present.
on 7/10/2015 12:58:11 AM
Sorry, as much as I like the concept here, (and I really do) this is way too short and too simple for me to really enjoy it. Keep trying, though, I think you have potential.
on 6/3/2015 1:12:01 AM
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