Dragon Tale

Player Rating3.56/8

"#629 overall, #75 for 2013"
based on 214 ratings since 12/13/2013
played 3,046 times (finished 280)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

Tags

RPG

A story about a young villager living in a misterious world who earns a powerful magic, and will have to choose on how to use it... (This is my first Choose Your Story, so yeah... Enjoy!)

Player Comments

This story has a massive amount of potential. It was really well-written save for a few subtle technical errors, and I was really into the story since the very first page.

The part where it asks for a character gender could've been more subtle and realistic—who forgets there gender like that?

I was disappointed when the storygame ended with the dragon charging at me, and either selection (of dodging or holding on) ended the storygame so early.

The story could've been a lot longer for its backstory, and otherwise, nicely done.
-- Crescentstar on 8/5/2016 12:43:43 PM with a score of 0
Interesting concept and compelling story. Unfortunately, your poor use of grammar makes the story practically unreadable. Also, it lacks good flow, and I agree with Swiftstryker that there should be a more compelling reason for humanity to want to fight the dragons. I mean, yes, we do 98% of what we do out of greed, but in a story, that's just boring...unless the point of the story is that humans are jerks (Avatar, Aliens, etc.). I could understand humanity revolting if the dragons were requiring them to sacrifice the firstborn child of every family...or something. I give it a 5/8.
-- jamescoker1226 on 5/21/2014 9:06:46 PM with a score of 0
As always with comments there are spoilers in here. Consider yourself warned.

This is one of the few times, I read a story here, where even I could find grammar issues. Which is surprising since I am not that great at it myself. On some pages you just used words that did not seem fitting at all. That really disrupted the flow of this story.

The pages themselves were very short. The text was mainly in one big wall of words with to few paragraphs to give it structure. Especially when changing scenes from outside of the village to inside your neighbors house, or when the dialogues, which were quite few to begin with, switched from one person to the next.

This actually leads to my next statement. The amount of interaction between characters was very poor. You never got the feeling of you talking to another person in this. It almost made me feel like I am not really important to the story until I discovered I had those magic powers.
The characters themselves were very flat and shallow. None of them showed much of a personality. In fact we don't even know how most of them look like.

The backstory for the game seemed very interesting. The concept of the tyranny the dragons rule with and the men rebelling against it with magic seems to be highly inspired by Skyrim. Like that game showed us there is a lot of potential in that. The fact you just showed us the beginning is really sad. Also it did not seem like the return of the dragons was happens on a major scale.

The ending of the whole story felt very rushed. No matter how you did approach the fight with the dragon it always lead to your powers showing. You could have at least used different elements in the power display instead of just ice.

There also was only one ending that would lead to a new chapter. Just starving to death alongside your family does not seem to be a real alternate ending to the story. Same goes for the few times you can actually die to the dragon.

2/8 from me for the poor grammar, the unfinished narrative of the plot and the fact that you did not bother to make the story detailed enough to be captivating.
-- LJacko on 3/10/2020 6:00:22 AM with a score of 0
CONTINUE ON NO FUN
-- Ava on 10/4/2019 1:11:23 PM with a score of 0
This was a good game for someone who was bored, definitely interesting. I didn't play it all because I got killed by the dragon who stole my deer close to the beggining. I had hoped that I would BE the dragon, but it was a good game all the same. Judging from what i played.
-- Tsunami on 8/7/2019 6:24:20 PM with a score of 0
love it
-- colechabot100 on 7/11/2019 11:02:32 PM with a score of 0
make a longer story it was great
-- thanos on 5/9/2019 10:51:56 AM with a score of 0
sorry i just thought it was a bit plain
i understand its hard to write stories like these tho so, respect
maybe im just a horrible player XD and i died early
-- anonymous on 3/5/2019 10:03:00 PM with a score of 0
Well it was good it just kind of was meh, it didn't flow well near the end.
-- Me on 11/3/2018 9:02:07 AM with a score of 0
This is a good story. It could be improved by correcting the spelling and grammar errors but overall, it's good.
-- Jimbob1 on 7/1/2018 4:43:38 AM with a score of 0
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